Thursday, February 14, 2013

Just another day

It's Valentine's Day... and we really don't care.

Last year was our first Valentine's Day together, I told him that if he did ANYTHING for this day, it would end up in a fight and a major problem for not listening to me.  The first time I told him, he said OK. And then after a moment's pause, he asked, "Wait... you're not doing that woman thing where you say you don't want anything, but if I don't, you'll get mad at me, right?"

"What do you think?"

"Well, you're not like that, but I'm just checking."

"I'm 100% serious. You give me anything to make this day different than any other day, you will be in big trouble."

Smart guy, he listened and the day was like no other.

I've always been this way. Growing up, I hated this day. The stupid little cards you gave to every person in your class so no one would be left out were so meaningless. What was a "valentine," anyway to a third grader? I remember one year the teacher said that giving Valentines were optional. I chose not to bring any - and I was the ONLY student in my class of 25 who didn't bring any. I felt embarrassed and mad. Signing your name to a card didn't mean you felt any one way about me. It was a stupid tradition with no point.

Every year, my mom made the day special. Every year she gave us each a personalized card and a little gift. There was always chocolate, but there was always a gift telling us how she loved and appreciated my sister and I. It was special appreciation for us as daughters. While I hated the commercialism of the day, I loved and looked forward to her gifts. She made the day special for us.

But romantic interests? In grade school it was out of place and awkward. I received one Valentine in high school from my long-distance quasi-boyfriend. It was sweet, but unnecessary. I hadn't expected it and appreciated the gesture.

All I heard about the dreaded V-day was failed expectations, sickening displays of affection that came wrapped in Made in China teddy bears and cheap chocolate candy. I just didn't care or what any part of it.

If you love me, show me every day. Make dates. Be romantic randomly. Make an effort to make any day special for us. I don't need chalky candy hearts or red and gold heart-shaped boxes to tell me how you feel. If that's the only way or time you do, we have problems.

There's no point to celebrating this mother of all fake holidays other than to support cheap manufacturing and overly sentimental romantic whims. Growing up I saw huge expectations women placed on men based on movies and media, and men hopelessly trying to figure out what to do. What was the point of this?

I can't see one. So for us, today is just a normal day. Like the other 364 or 365 days of the year, we'll do our best to further our relationship, show our love, support one another, and each take opportunities to be romantic.

Oh, and he couldn't be happier about this viewpoint. He's had the awful expectations placed on him by ex-girlfriends who wanted him to figure it out and then have it blow up in his face when it wasn't quite what they expected or wanted. He's had girls say its no big deal and then it is because, well, it's the most special day of love, how could he be so inconsiderate? So, to say the least, he's very happy.


  1. "If you love me, show me every day. Make dates. Be romantic randomly. Make an effort to make any day special for us."

    Preach it, sister. Valentine's Day is 100% corporate and commercial, and while we take part to some extent, the fact is I'd gladly skip it because we're pretty romantic every single other day of the year.

    - Jack

  2. Me and the Mrs are the same. We just make an effort to do something together on this day. Like have a nice dinner or something.

  3. Wow...I can tell you feel strongly about this. Mr. LL and I don't do anything fact whatever we do has to be handmade and from the heart. We feel the same about Christmas. But, I have to disagree with you about the grade school Valentines. My son put a lot of care into the making of his cards and was beaming when he came home to show me the ones he got from classmates. They made his whole day...probably his whole week. One doesn't have to buy into the commercialism to enjoy the spirit of the original holiday.

  4. You could enjoy it ironically..ha