Thursday, May 31, 2012

Revisiting my early masturbation days

Disclaimer: This post is an entry into the contest hosted by Master Jean-Luc Gothos at his blog. The focus of the contest is to write a short story or encounter about the past that includes masturbation. Anyone can enter this contest, and the prize is a sweet $55 gift card! You have until June 8th to submit your entry either as a comment on his blog post or as a feature on your own blog with his permission to publish on his.

At a young age I used to have fun wiggling my clitoris while I peed. Because its movement changed the direction of my pee, I assumed it was a little "pee sack" where my pee came out of - just like a man had a dick,  I had this little "bubble." I didn't consider it pleasurable, it was more fun to watch on the toilet than anything.

I was 12 when I discovered my clitoris was for pleasure. We were on vacation at Niagara Falls and I was taking a bath after a long day of walking and sightseeing. I sat in the tub and my hands wandered down to my pussy. I was on my period, but I didn't see any blood in the water. Somehow my finger found my clit and I moved it.

I froze. It felt.... GOOD. Unlike any other good I had realized down there. I tried again. More pleasure. This was new, different. I liked it.

I tried some more, and my breath quickened. My hand started to make splashes in the water. I tried to slow down, acutely aware of the noise I was making and just how thin the door to the exterior room was. I focused on what felt good. I didn't orgasm; I'm not even sure I knew what it was at that point. But my sexual awakening had begun.

I didn't attempt it again until I was home and in my own bedroom. It felt so, so good, but I knew I wasn't achieving the pleasure I'm sure could be there. I experimented and played some more. I still wasn't orgasming, but I really didn't need to. It felt so incredibly pleasant that I was getting a "release." I started to do this every time I showered - right before or after the shower. I would lay down on the floor or sit on the toilet and fiddle with my clit until I obtained that release.

So every day or every other day, for several years, this continued. I don't remember masturbating in bed even though I had my own room. The bathroom was always safe as the water could run and the fan would hide any noises I made.

In my mid-teens, I added vagina play to the mix. What's a fifteen year old to do? Be inventive. Alcohol hand sanitizer to the leg of a barbie, and voila - a dildo small enough for a virgin pussy! (Note: I am not recommending this...) Adding thrusting to my clit stimulation made it so much more amazing to my experience. Now my bedroom became my masturbation sanctuary. I would lie down, naked on my floor, and masturbate - every day.

Sometimes I would fuck myself so hard, I would bruise my cervix and have some spotting in my panties. All this hornyness also made me wet all the time... so wet that my mother noticed all my panties were slightly discolored - and she asked me if I was having trouble holding it for the bathroom! (I told her absolutely not, and I had no idea what prompted that question until I realized all my panties were discolored in the crotch from a constantly wet pussy. Oh well!)

Did my learning about my body end as I grew out of my teens and lost my virginity? Au contraire! This was just the beginning of a sexual journey that I expect to take a lifetime. 

All this masturbation in my early-mid teens taught me several things:
1. I like pleasure. I like to feel pleasure, I like to orgasm. It feels so good; I would not deny myself if I had to.
2. I know how to pleasure myself. I think every person should know how to pleasure themselves. You need to know your body so you will never be at a loss on how to please yourself. Using someone for the sole purpose of only your pleasure and not theirs is not fair to them, or yourself. Take care of you.
3. By the time I started allowing a partner to explore my body at age 18, I already knew what I liked and where. I didn't know it all, but I knew how to make myself cum and how to teach him to make me cum. It made voicing my wants so much easier. It also made it easier for my partner to ask what I liked or didn't like.
4. It helped me reserve some time each day for myself. My life has only grown busier, but I have learned that reserving time for self-pleasure is so important. A horny person who goes too long without orgasm can often become an irritable person. So, in essence, masturbation is good for the planet.
5. Masturbation is not wrong. I found out as a young adult that my mother believes masturbation is wrong. It means there is something wrong with you and/or it is a sin. This knowledge completely saddened me. It made me have serious doubts about the quality of my parents' sex life. (How can you have great sex without pleasuring yourself? What if you don't have equal sex drives; should one just suffer waiting for the other to be ready?) I also wondered that if masturbation is on your "no" list, then how many other things are? Masturbation, despite what the world used to believe, does not cause blindness, insanity, impotence, or sterility. It doesn't sap your life force and make you die young. What it does do is open your mind to your own pleasure... and hopefully, your partner's as well.

So, go forth ye world, and touch yourself!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Masturbation month: his focus on my ass

May is National Masturbation month - and what an excellent month to choose! We have a 3-day holiday weekend and 31 days in the month... someone selected very, very well.

Twice this month, something happened that I never imagined possible before the boyfriend entered my life: he masturbated and got off to my ass. Twice this month.

The first time...
The first time was earlier in the month during an afternoon when I was working from home. I was so incredibly horny. We had been playfully teasing each other all day... I would look at pictures on tumblr and show them to him. He would tell me what he wanted to do to me later that night. We would flash each other, brush by each other. Light touches. Whispers. Kisses that lingered. Clothes came over in more layers. Eventually, I was working naked at my computer.

By mid-afternoon I was in full torture but unable to take a break. I really do try to be a responsible worker! But then the BF came over to my desk and swung my chair toward him. He kneeled down in front of me and started to eat my pussy. He ate it as if it was his last meal on earth. He hungered for it. I leaned back in my chair and took it. I didn't care that I was naked and now in the view of the parking lot. I didn't care that we had two windows open and there was a very real chance I could be overheard. I enjoyed every moment of it. I enjoyed seeing him force his face in my pussy as he licked and sucked every part of me. I came, quickly.

When he finished, he stood up, boner staring me in the face. I licked my lips. I wanted him. But work was calling me back to the computer... He needed to cum. So I provided some inspiration. I stood up bent over my desk and pushed my ass up against his hand so his knuckles and the head of his dick brushed against my ass with his jerking off motions.

He loved the view. My naked ass, displayed for his viewing pleasure. His free hand reached out to grab at my cheeks. Pinches of thick flesh. He pulled on my cheek to spread it apart. I reached around and grabbed the other. His response was an intake of breath. His hand started to jerk faster.

I wiggled my ass at him. His hand dropped from my ass to fondle his balls, so I pulled my other hand away from my laptop to pull on my other ass cheek. Now I was spread wide for him. The view made him moan appreciatively.

"You like my asshole?" All I heard was a moan in response.

I flexed my muscles, and made my asshole pucker and flex for him.

"Ooooh baby.... oh god that's so hot!" He watched me do it. I wiggled my ass and puckered it some more. In a few moments, he exploded hot cum on my ass and smeared it all over my cheeks.

I left it there for later.

The Second Time...
Then, several weeks later, he is horny and I am fighting an insane headache. I can barely keep my eyes open. He notices my pain and pulls me away to the bedroom for some ibuprofen and a nap. He tucked me in, and left me to rest. About an hour later he came back to check on me. I was a little better, but still in pain. He held me to him, our naked bodies warm together. He spooned me and ran his fingers through my hair and leaving small kisses on my back. It was comforting and soft.

I could feel his dick growing harder on my ass. I so wanted to enjoy some sweet, passionate sex, but the pain in my head was far too painful to even have an interest. His hand started wandering around my body, feeling my breasts, my stomach, my hips, my ass, my thighs. Every part he touched came with his voice telling me he loved it and it was beautiful.

I couldn't do anything to help him, but I wanted to help somehow. So I knelt on the bed, bent over with my head on the mattress for comfort, and stuck my spread and displayed ass in his face. "Here, look at my ass."

Oh he did. His jerking motions were swift and rapid. The free hand wandered over it again and again, feeling every part of it. Remembering his reaction from the last time, I flexed my muscles and he was so excited at the visual of my moving ass hole. I flexed in fast pulses and then long, slow ones. I moaned my happiness of his excitement over my body.

His hand was jerking so hard and fast on his dick. I could hear his fist hitting his body as he hand-fucked himself. The noise was sexy and appealing. I wished I could see, but I didn't want to remove my ass from his eyesight. Again, it didn't take long for him to cum. I heard whispered "Oh I love your ass... look at that little asshole.... oh fuck I love your asshole baby."

I was smiling so wide when he came. My ass, my booty, loved so much by him.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

TMI Tuesday: Fantasy Life

1.  If your lover was turned on by forced feminization* would you participate? (*forced feminization is the practice of enforcing activities on a male, which are typically associated with women to make him submissive. For example, wearing lingerie, heels, make-up.)
I think the key word to this question is: IF.  There is no IF. It's more like "when." We've made no secret that my boyfriend likes to wear panties, specifically lacey thongs. He also has some lingerie that he wears. We've painted his nails pink (toes and hands) and gone out in public together. We've dyed his hair pink. When he wears his lingerie around the house, I call him "pretty" and "my girl" as he LOVES this. It turns him on. We fantasize about him having a pussy and what I would do to it.  Before I met him, I had no idea that "Sissy play" was a real thing. (Side note: I prefer the term "sissify" to "forced feminization").

I do have a line, I think. I wouldn't want him to be dressed as a woman in public. I know that's a part of this where you can dress up in full drag, but that's not really my thing. If he wanted to do it, well, we'd have to talk. As a whole, sissification is really hot. Especially when he says, "Will you sissify me?"

2. When you have sexual dreams or fantasies that are aggressive or cruel, does it worry you?
No, not at all. It's a dream... it wasn't real, it didn't happen. Worry is never a part of it. That being said, I don't have these types of dreams often.

3. Tell us your hottest, filthiest fantasy, right now, in 100 words or less.
Tied up being gang-raped in a jungle village while my boyfriend watches. (Read the full details of this in my fantasy masturbation entry. It's really dirty.)

4. Which super hero would you like to have sex with? Why?
a. Aquaman
b. Superman
c. Wonder Woman
d. She-Ra

I'm going to vote for Aquaman... I actually googled him and went to wikipedia as I'm not a comic book person at all... I'm choosing him completely because I bet he could hold his breath forever and would enjoy just how wet my pussy can get.

5. Knowing there's a hot young couple in the adjoining hotel room, would you press your ear against the wall to hear the action on the other side?
I'm a little squeamish about touching the hotel room wall (CSI has forever ruined my innocence in the world of germs, skin cells, and hotel rooms), so I'd hope I could hear them through the wall. I've been in several hotels where I've enjoyed the sounds of other couples and I enjoyed listening. I think now I would join in and make sure they could hear me as well.

6. Do you think the lure to live out sexual fantasies or have sex frequently is amplified by technology? Briefly explain.
I've grown up with the internet, but I'm inclined to say "yes." I think with all the erotic images, writing, and sounds we can find, it makes us horny. A big part of my sex ed took place on the computer - whether encyclopedia or wherever I could find info on the internet. I've also learned a LOT from the internet when it comes to fetishes and sex toys. (How exactly do you give a foot job, anyway? Or what does "sissify" mean?) This has only increased our sexual fantasies that we want to try and do. The more you know, the more you want!

Bonus: Describe your fantasy life in three (3) words.
Dirty. Selfish. Orgasmic.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!


Friday, May 25, 2012

Sometimes, real life interrupts

It shouldn't surprise you to know that life does interrupt our sex life at times. We may make plans and they may go completely awry. Not everything is amazing, incredible, gorgeous, hot sex.

By now, we've had a variety of these experiences. Sometimes we plan to have sex, and then we're too tired. Or he's going to eat me out, but my period starts a day early. Sometimes we try a new position, and we don't like it. Or he fucks me too hard during the afternoon that I don't want anything in my vagina that night. Sometimes we plan to peg, and he doesn't want to when the time comes. Occasionally, we get distracted by another activity and just go with the flow. My hands feel that good on your cock? Well look who's getting a hand job tonight!

Wednesday night, we were planning on pegging him. We took a shower and I plugged him up. We went to the couch and watched TV and then got ready for bed. I got out a new dildo we hadn't used yet - I planned to hand fuck him then use the hitachi on the base while it was in him.

I slid the dildo in. It's our first one that had little ridges on it. He didn't like it; it wasn't all the way in until he told me to take it out. It was uncomfortable. I removed it and set it aside. I reached for another dildo, the Siren we normally use, but he said no. He went to the bathroom to clean up.

When he returned, I was sitting there, unsure what to do. He returned the same look. So... normal sex? We both agreed, yes.

We kissed and started playing with ourselves. I was still wet from my earlier hitachi use... I played with the wet, making sloshing noises as loudly as I could, at his request. I played with my vagina entrance to get the loudest sound. He bit his lip in excitement, watching me. He kissed up my body from knee to lips while I did this, jacking off his dick. It made me giggly, and turned me on.

After a final kiss, he moved to position himself between my legs. I opened wide for him.... then realized I had a pillow under my shoulders. I prefer to fuck flat on my back. I reached behind me to pull it out and throw it to the side - and the movement made me fart. On him.

Horror! We exchanged a very brief look, his face amused, mine shocked. "Did you just fart?"

Oh gosh. I hid my face under the pillow. He was laughing, I was laughing. My whole body was shaking as I buried my head in shame. I nodded yes, not that he needed confirmation. He wanted me to come out from under the pillow. I shook my head no.

We burst into more laughter. I could not help but recognize the irony. Here I am, sex blogger who professes to be sex positive and I pride myself on realizing that stuff like this happens. This isn't the first time I've accidentally farted during sex, but it was the first time with him. And in some ways, I'm very much a girly-girl and I personally don't like farts at all. I recognize they're normal, but I prefer to think they don't happen. And that I don't let them happen ON him when we're about to have SEX.

He let me have a few moments to compose myself. When I didn't come out, he commented that he bet I was red as a beet... which resulted in another round of laughter for us. I said I didn't want to come out, I was too embarrassed. He didn't push me or rush me.

He sat back between my feet and started jacking off again. "Guess I'll have to take care of myself then," he said, trying to get me to come out from my hiding spot. I said that was fine with me.

But then I started listening to the sound... and I realized my feet were in close proximity to his body. I ran a right foot tentatively up his chest. I couldn't see anything, so I went by feel. I wandered up his body again, this time feeling for his face. I found his neck and ran up to his face. His lips found my toes, his free hand guided my foot around his mouth. He kissed my toes, the bottom of my feet.

I ran my foot back down his body and back up. I scrunched my toes around his nose. His tongue licked the arch of my foot, then he started flicking in between my toes. His tongue was strong, warm, and wet. It felt so good and turned me on. He moaned lightly as he kissed my feet. I scrunched my toes again and he sighed. He loves it when I grip his face.

He moaned and then said something completely unexpected: "This reminds me of how I got off the other day."

"What?" I could not remember doing anything with my feet this week.

"Yeah... I jacked off sniffing your shoes... oh I came so good."

"What!?!?!" Another revelation. He's never expressed interested in smelling my shoes. I knew it was interesting to some foot fetish guys, but he's never said or shown anything. And then I needed to know, "Which shoes?"

"The purple ones... your flats." Oh, so my favorite pair of shoes... my 2-year old purple suede Nine West shoes that I've worn at least 50% of the time the past two years.

"Show me?" I wanted to see it. He agreed. Out I came from under my pillow and off to find my shoes. I retrieved them and gave them both to him. He took one in his free hand, kept his dick in the other, and took a deep, long sniff into it. I watched, so curious and fascinated.

His eyes rolled back in pleasure. "Baby, your feet are so very sexy. I love how sexy your feet are." Another sniff and his body started to lean back away from me. I placed my feet near his balls, and scrunched his testicles with my toes. His body visibly tensed. Another sniff. His jacking off motion was slower now. He didn't need that much stimulation. A final sniff and he was cumming. Hard. My feet continued to scrunch at his balls. His body trembled as cum poured from his cock.

And then we went to bed, me cuddling to his chest in his arms. The night wasn't anything like we expected or planned. We recovered and took it to something beautiful. And that is real world sex.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

I finally deep-throated him!

Yes, there is an exclamation point at the end of the title to this entry. It's been 11 months in training, research, and above all, PRACTICE to make it to this point. And Monday night, it finally happened.

I've done a ton of research in learning how to deep throat. I never needed to with my ex - his dick didn't trigger my gag reflex. (To all you men who are in a similar situation - it is a LOT easier for a woman to give you a BJ, so please don't feel bad about that!) But research will get you nowhere without practice.

My first BJ that I gave to the boyfriend did not go so well. I was kneeling in the shower - uncomfortable for me, hard for him to stay standing - and the water went cold on us (making it even harder). I was not used to the size of his dick and a little eager to prove my skills, so I pushed myself too far.

(This is the part of the entry where I say that pre-communication about this moment gave us two things. First, I knew that I wanted to make him orgasm from a BJ since he never had before and I took it as a personal challenge of skill. Second, I knew that if I pushed too far and puked he was OK with that and allowing for that possibility allowed me to truly test my limits. Yes it's not very sexy, but puking, washing it away, and continuing right on as if it didn't happen was so sexy to him... and the fact he didn't go limp and make an excuse to get away from me told me that the act was more sexy than this unintentional consequence. And he had been telling me the truth when we discussed the possibility before it ever happened. SO - communication is KEY!)

 So the first time didn't go so well. The second time I kneeled between his legs and did it MY way - and orgasm he did! (He also asked me to marry him right afterward... I said no, we'd put that on hold for now.) But that time and every time since, I've tried to push his cock into my throat, and was unable to take all of him in.

At first, I was an inch or so away from the base, where his cock met skin. Sometimes he or I would hold it, squeeze it since my mouth couldn't reach. I read more, and I got closer, little by little. Sometimes I would push too far and I would choke and gag on him. The sound would turn him on. He'd call me a good girl. I focused on minimizing the gag. I tried to cut the time in between gagging and putting him back down to trigger it again - without puking. Every gag would get harder not to puke; sometimes I would just have to take the tip of his cock until my throat calmed down. Sometimes I couldn't calm down and had to stop trying to push myself.

I kept trying. I wanted to do it. I knew that I could. I kept to my normal position, in between his legs. I tried hanging my head off the bed... it made me panicky I couldn't handle it mentally. I tried reversing myself so we were in the traditional 69 position, but I found it uncomfortable and it didn't help the gag reflex.

Two nights ago, he made me cum several times by fingering my G-spot while I had my bullet vibe on my clit. My last orgasm was from my bullet vibe on clit and his tongue in my pussy. Oh bliss...

I was exhausted. We'd had a long weekend, a long drive, and I was tired. It was after 1am and I had to be up at 7 for work. He wanted a spanking and I wasn't up for it. I suggested he jack off onto my face. He had me scoot down on the bed, and kneeled with my head between his legs in a 69 position but him on top rather than me.

He started to jack off, right above my face. I opened my eyes, and saw his balls hanging above my forehead. I leaned up, and sucked one in. He gasped, and his jacking off stopped. I let go of the one, and took the other in my mouth. Delicious dick. I started to lick his cock in long strokes from base to tip.

I normally don't lick cock, I suck it. But it worked last night too well to not lick it. I licked and licked. Then I started to suck. Once I got the cock in my mouth, it slid easily down my throat... very easily. I felt it tickle where it it hit the back of my throat. It was a little dry. While his cock was in my mouth, I spanked him a few times with my free hand. My other hand gripped his hips. I pushed his cock further into me, and started to gag. Then I pushed him out and continued licking again.

I slithered my tongue around and across the length of his cock. He bowed his head down toward my pelvis; I told him to smell my pussy, smell what he had done to me. He did. Large sniffs into my short bush. I continued licking his cock like a long popsicle. It was covered in my spit. I sucked his balls a bit more.

Then I pushed him back into my throat, using my hands to guide his hips. I pushed him deep, and he was all the way in me. I bounced him gently into me and out, then pushed him out a bit more to prevent my gag reflex from kicking in. Then back in deep and I wiggled my head back and forth. Finally, I came up for air.  He panted to me, "It feels like you have all of it in..." I told I did. Every bit of it was in... and then to show him, I pushed him in deep again.

I slapped his ass while I held him in my throat. It was easy... until my brain clicked in and then I had to push him out, regain control, and then push him back down. During these moments I would lick and suck every inch of the underside of his cock, paying special attention to that spot just underneath the head of his dick. I repeated this trail of licks, deep throating, and more licking several more times. Then I would travel to the balls, or maybe play with just his cock head to make him flinch, waiting for me to push him back him.

My chin was coated in thick, slimy spit. It was the spit you read about: porn spit. It was everywhere on my lips and chin. His cock was coated in it. When I licked it off, I would cover him again when I pushed him down into my throat and held him there.

He laid his head on my pubic bone, resting. His arms couldn't support him through the sensations I was giving his dick. I pushed him down again and again, holding him there as long as I could. When I came up for air and more cock licking, I started humming a favorite love song of mine. He started groaning into me as I did it.

I kept humming while I pushed him down into my throat - and the sound cutting off was the sexiest silence we've heard. Eventually when I came up for air, I continued humming as if I'd been singing to him all along.

A few quick cycles of my air being cut off and he started to cum. The climax was very slow - he started "oohh.. OHHH... OOHHH..." and I could hear him and feel his body tense. I pushed him down into me as far as he could go, and held him, waiting, slightly wiggling my head. His exclamations grew louder, longer and I started to fear I was out of breath. And then I felt his cock convulse, but felt no cum. It was already down my throat.

He pulled out, and collapsed beside me. "Did I drown you?" he asked, concerned as I lay there panting.

"No, I can just taste it on the back of my tongue, but I barely felt it." I grinned with pride. "So.... did you like it?"

"Oh... baby...." and his eyes shut for a moment.

"That good, huh?" His eyes opened and shut again, smile on his face.

"Yeah, yeah..." and he voice drifted off. I got up to wipe the spit from my face. It literally was dripping off my chin.

Achievement unlocked. I can now deep throat the BF!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

He met my parents

The BF and I have been together almost a year, but I didn't tell my parents about him until at least a month after he'd moved in. Why the time delay? I had my reasons. My parents have never been open to my relationships, but once they are in, they won't let go. They continued a personal relationship with my ex for 8 months after we split. For six months they wouldn't drop the question of "Why?" no matter how many times I explained it.

So for the BF, I knew the round of questions along with denial/challenging my decision would restart. I didn't want that to start in conjunction with this new chapter in my life. So I held off.

When I told them the truth, they were shocked. Stunned. Their oldest daughter is shacking up with a guy she met on the internet. My ultra-conservative parents had no idea that I would ever do anything like this. When I dated and married my ex, we were in college and never lived together. In fact, we were both virgins until we married.

Pauses for you to digest that last sentence.

Back to the part where my parents were shocked. They couldn't understand it, and it didn't fit into their picture of me or their timetable of "moving on." I did my best to stress that my timetable is  my own, not their's or any prescribed norm they think I should adhere to. I moved on because I was ready. No, it's not a fling and it's not a rebound despite that its the first relationship I've been in since my divorce.

Their shock reaction was to ignore my relationship. I live very far from them and see them about once a year. We talk often on the phone. For Christmas they had the opportunity to meet him; they chose not too. They preferred to pretend he didn't exist.

Fast forward to March, and I knew the first in-person meeting would take place in May for my sister's college graduation. I emailed them a mini bio of him: everything they needed to know and should know about him. Everything they should have asked. It was a little information overload for them, but it got the dialogue going.

My mom made the effort to ask little things about him. She didn't mind when I brought him into conversation. For a couple of weeks we argued over my "justification" for living with him (living in sin in their minds) and I refused to take the bait. I would not discuss any justification as I had nothing to justify to them. It didn't go over well, but eventually they let it drop.

And now this past weekend, they met. We met at their hotel for some (non-alcoholic) drinks. My sister and her new boyfriend were there (his first time meeting the parents as well). Initially it went well. Both guys were a little shy... OK, BF was a little bit more shy as his usual when meeting someone for the first time.

Dinner went well, there was laughing and joking by everyone. My sister thought it was awkward, I thought it was completely comfortable. BF didn't think it was awkward when I asked him at the end of the night, and he even sat across from my mom and nearer my dad then myself.

Over the course of the weekend there were more meals and ceremonies and walking around. They were friendly, but not overly. They didn't ask questions of him and they didn't really pursue getting to know more about him other than what I had told them. At this point I think its an OK beginning. My mom hugged him goodbye when we left. They barely know him, and getting them to move any closer to knowing him may be a challenge. All I can do is wait for them to eventually adjust and keep an open mind.

They have no idea how serious things are between us; or if they do, they've never asked or commented to let on that they do know. We were very affectionate in front of them, as we normally are in public. I'm not sure what they perceived or thought. We were our natural selves and I was proud to be who I am in front of them (something I've always found difficult to do).

For now, we'll continue as we are. The next step will come when its time. And they'll have to adjust again when that comes.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

TMI Tuesday: The inverted (perverted) poll

In many polls, you are asked if you strong agree, somewhat agree, neither agree nor disagree, somewhat disagree, or strongly disagree with some proposition. Today, we go the other way. We supply the answer, you supply the question.

1. Tell us something with which you strongly agree, or greatly like.
Orgasms should be equal opportunity.  This means each partner has the opportunity to orgasm. I'm not saying the numbers need to be exactly equal... as a multi-orgasmic woman, the numbers will always be tipped in my favor. What I mean is, if we have sex, both of us should orgasm if we want to. That doesn't mean that I can't give my partner a special orgasm - like a birthday BJ, an "I love you just because hand job" or similar. And I hope he would do the same for me. But when it comes to "normal, every day sex" (what is normal, anyway?) then we both should get the O.

2. Tell us something with which you somewhat agree, or somewhat like.
Spanking. I like the idea of it, but handling it is another issue. I like thinking about, fantasizing about it. I like to think I can handle it. but then I experience it - and the flashes of pain are so hard, I try to run from them. I beg them not to continue or return. So far I've really enjoyed being spanked by the riding crop we have. But open palm? It scares me and excites me equally.

3. Tell us something to which you are indifferent, or have no opinion.
Being told to wait. I don't like to wait to cum; I don't like to be told "later tonight." And yet, the anticipation of waiting is so delicious and juicy it makes me almost squirm with excitement. It makes me wet, just thinking and waiting. In the end, the hate of waiting and the love to of waiting average out to be indifferent. Fine, tell me to wait. I'll hate it and love it at the same time. You'll have me conflicted for hours.  And then we both will reap the rewards.

4. Tell us something with which you somewhat dislike or disagree with.
Not masturbating. Last week, a female coworker of mine complained of period cramps. I hinted there was a way to "take care of that." She understood my meaning, but said she wouldn't be seeing her BF for a couple of days. I then stated that she could always take care of it on her own, and she looked at me squeamish and said she'd pass. Whaaaat? What is wrong with women masturbating? I don't understand it. If you don't like to touch yourself or if you don't even know how to do that, how to do you expect your partner to know what to do? And will you always rely on a partner for pleasure? Why so squeamish about your own body? PLAY WITH YOURSELF. PLEASE.

5. Tell us something with which you strongly disagree, or greatly dislike.
The non-separation of church & state with all these "man+woman=marriage" laws that are being passed in the USA today. These laws are entirely based on "traditional marriage" as seen by the conservative Christian-right. I come from this background, I know it very well. Perhaps that's why it bugs me so very much. I don't care what you personally believe or interpret in the Bible; that's your set of beliefs. It's open to interpretation in many ways. The big problem is that we've lost this separation of church and state... on one hand, we don't want to state to tell us how to worship in any religion. We carefully guard that - but then we want to tell the state it should enforce our personal religious beliefs. It's backward thinking, full of BS. Being from this background, it really irks me. I've had discussions with a variety of these conservatives - who have known me for years - and it shocks me they see the flawed logic and admit it, yet hold tight to it. I still profess as a Christian, and this type of legislation makes me want to hide in the ground and beg people to consider that not every "Christian" is like that.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Monday, May 21, 2012

e-lust #36

Photo courtesy of A Couple of Wankers

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #37? Start with the newly updated rules, come back June 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ Top 3 ~

The Cheshire Cat - Alice felt whiskers tickle her skin and was wracked with sobs of fear. �Oh, little girl, don�t cry. You can stand much more than you think you can.�

Vaginal Overexposure? - I see a lot of vaginas. A lot. One of my favorite things to tell Vincent and his friends is, "I see more vagina that you ever will!"

Marionette - "I'm writing out a fantasy of mine, but I'm not sure what to do with some of it. I'm hoping you can help me figure it out." "Yes Ma'am."

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

Journeys - These insecurities are at the root of my fears. I don�t know how to combat them, how to turn those tapes off in my head.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

I�ve found a new secret to my G-spot - This g-spot thing might be hard to find since it can�t be mapped, but believe me it is real and with time, exploration, a good clitoral orgasm and a willing set of fingers and/or dildos you CAN find it.


All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the �read more�� tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

A Pixie Calls Me Daddy
Afterwards, kissing
Another Try at Topping
Bent Over and Exposed
Female Orgasm: Where Do You Get Off?
Letting the Sadist Out to Play
more con-slut...
pain & sadism: how they intertwine
Tied Up and Tossed in a Corner
Waiting My Turn
Warm Up

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Fifty Shades Of Me

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Buying a Toy: What You Need to Know
Bring on the wanks
I want your sex
My Mother, The Whore
Poly Fallacies #4
Q&A # 3: Childhood BDSM Fantasies
Sticks and Stones...
Small World of Swinging
The Gauge
Us Lately
White and Nerdy

Erotic Writing

Around and 'round
Golden girl
Hard Love
Hot sunny sex on a rainy day
It Ain't Sex
I Want to be Watched
I made him watch me masturbate
Lazy Day
Lost in Submission
Making out
On Display
Pussy Doctor
Perfect Cover
Pussy Eating- The Fun Way
Rack and Ruin part II
Shower Scene
The Third Date
Tickle Monster
Waiting for It
Watching Skylarks

Friday, May 18, 2012

Being "open minded"

So in the sex positive and kink community, there's a concept called "open minded." I've found it can mean different things to different people. Are any of these specifically right or wrong? I think that's up to you and what you think of this concept.

Open and up for anything. I think there's one interpretation where "open minded" means "I'll do anything." Normally where one partner wants something and another does not, and the partner who isn't getting what they want considers the other one "close minded." I'm guilty as charged in this. I called my ex closed minded about sex.  In the end, I realized that there was no amount of talking that would fix this. He was and is who he is with his desires; I am me. We were a complete sexual mismatch. Was that our only problem? No. But, it was a significant problem considering how much and how often I like to have sex - and all kinds of sex.

Not everyone is a sexual match. Even my BF and I, with all our sex and fun we have, sometimes we like different things. I want a hand job, he wants sex. I want to fuck him, he wants a hand job. He wants to pee on me, I don't really enjoy that. So far we haven't said "no" to each other on something we want. Sometimes I hear envious comments on twitter from someone seeking a partner who matches their desires. They want someone "open minded."

I don't know how to respond to that. To me, "open minded" does not mean "I want everything you want" or "I'll try anything you ask me to." That's not what its about. I do believe in what Dan Savage calls "GGG" which is "good, giving, and game." We should be open to our partner's desires and wants. We should be open to exploring... just as our partner should understand that each person's limits are different. And just because you try something doesn't mean you'll like it or want to do it again. Give and take.

No judgement. Does being "open minded" mean that you will not judge/think badly of someone for acting in a sexual way that's not similar to your tastes? Maybe. I think you should at least respect that people may like different flavors other than you. Some of us are vanilla and others are... rainbow kink, for lack of a better term. The BF and I are into a lot of things that's not for everyone. And that's OK. If you don't like it, I understand. I don't expect you to read every entry and like it; some people are into some things more than others. Some guys don't understand my BF's foot fetish; some women are uncomfortable with ass play. To each his own.

An issue I see is that being open minded is not just about allowing for the variety of sex in this universe; sometimes, we're just uncomfortable with something and it's off limits to us. Sometimes I have conversations with people on twitter and I end up shaking my head in disbelief of "I don't get it." Some things make me uncomfortable and they probably always will. I don't like hiding things from your partner, especially if it involves other partners they don't know about. I don't like public humiliation; it makes me very uncomfortable and it would break my heart to do it. (Of course, I have nothing against humiliation in the bedroom...)

So what happens when we come across those with tastes, predilections, desires, and fetishes that are so opposite our own? We can ignore, for certain. We can run far away and pretend they don't exist. We could tell the person he/she is "wrong" for their likes.

 In my mind the real key to being open minded is accepting that the person is that way and you can't change that. You shouldn't want to change that. What we all should do is accept the fact that we're all different and move on. The world is full of diversity; you don't have to understand it to get on in life. (Just like I don't understand how anyone can like the game Minecraft which the BF is currently obsessed with... but I love him anyway.)

Formspring Friday: Turn-ons

Q. What one thing turns you on the most in a partner?
Physically? Hands. Its the first thing I notice in a male partner (I'll get to you ladies in a second.) I love a set of strong male hands. Masculine fingers, shorter, well-maintained (read: trimmed and clean) fingernails. I don't like skinny or girly hands on men - its very unattractive. I have a coworker who has very girly hands and I can't look at them without a little bit of "ew." Not all hands are manly to me - I'm not really sure how to describe it in words, so a pic to hopefully illustrate my ideal:
These are the first hands I ever noticed. HOT.
Now for women, the first thing I notice is your general body shape. I look at the curves... Are the hips wider or at least the same width as shoulders? Curves of the breasts from the front, from the side. Thighs to ass, ass to back. Pelvis to stomach and legs. Stomach to breasts. I look at all of it. There's not one shape or type I like - I'm pretty varied. All of the women I post on my tumblr are ones that I find attractive in some way.
Yes, curves like this. Beautiful.

Now, if we're not talking physical attraction, then I'd say confidence. Nothing is sexier than a man or woman who knows who they are and isn't afraid to hide it. Since I've only had relationships with men, I can tell you that they have all been extremely confident. I love it when a man knows he is the best and shows it. It's sexy.

My BF's answer to this is probably: feet. (I asked, he couldn't decide... after some talking and reflection we settled on feet). He is the only man I know who looks at the shoes of everyone we pass... he always knows what shoes people are wearing before I've even registered the color of their shirt. And, come to think of it, my feet were the first picture I sent to him by request.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

To pimp out, or not to pimp out

As a sex blogger, you are sometimes offered opportunities to use your blog to advertise for other companies. I've done this a couple times with some sex toy reviews (with toys I purchased at full price and for no other reason than to share my experience, not for any kick-backs). I don't mind mentioning where I purchase an item from; I consider that part of the toy experience. There are some shops I prefer above others based on their offerings and their customer service.

But, what about accepting a toy for free in exchange for a review? Or writing a blog entry in exchange for free access or gift cards to their store? Now I am entering an agreement where, ultimately, without my blog I would never be in a position to get this product for free. So, am I pimping out my blog?

Is offering my blog up to the best free products or offers what I want to do with my blog?

I started writing this blog for two key reasons and those reasons still run strong. First, it was a way to explore my own budding sexuality within the best relationship I've ever experienced. What better way to reflect and learn than to write about it? Secondly, I wanted to show others who are in or were in my prior situation of sex-negativity that being sex-positive was possible.

You can come back from the negative.  You can find a partner who truly meets your wants, desires, and expectations. While I'm not guaranteeing everything will come out 100% (as in, I will never have the dick to be the she-male my BF would love to see on me, nor do I enjoy being peed on), there is always room for discussion and compromise (as in, occasionally I do let him pee on me).

So far, I feel very good about the direction of my blog.... now do I allow in some sponsors and freebies?

My initial reaction is: yes, if it matches or enhances the purpose of my blog.

But what about if its borderline? What if its something where I'm really do it for the freebie and it has less to do with the blog post? That is where the word "pimp" and terms like "whoring out" come to play.

I obviously have some thinking to do.

I've watched the blogs of my twitter/blog friends, and I do envy when they get freebies or perks I obviously do not have. I am not the wealthiest lover of kink on the planet; I'm relatively young and fairly early in my career. I have mounds of student loans from choosing a private college over public (mis-taaaaaaake!) and I'm trying to buy my first home.

My sex toy budget is tiny. I've pretty much blown it for the year already. And I am almost in desperate need of lube again.

So... do I do it in favor of continued sexual experiences? Pimping out to sustain the blog, as it were? Or do I keep out everyone and continue on my merry way? Somehow, I think I will toe a fine line of somewhere in-between pimp and pure sex blog.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

My favorite masturbation fantasy

May is National Masturbation Month, so as some of my prior posts, I am dedicating this one to masturbation. Specifically, my masturbation.

When I masturbate, I fantasize. Without the fantasy, the orgasm won't come. The fantasy is tied to my pleasure; as my pleasure builds, so does my fantasy, which triggers more pleasure, and, hopefully, the eventual orgasm.

Some years ago I came up with a favorite masturbation fantasy. I'm really not sure where it came from. A few weeks ago, I told the BF about this fantasy. He's the first person I ever told about it. He was dumbstruck, and later when we masturbated together, it was the topic of some pretty dirty, dirty talk.

I am traveling through a jungle area, in search of something. Sometimes its a plant, sometimes an animal, it could be a language. It doesn't matter. I am foreign to the area. It is relatively unexplored. I am afraid of the natives; there are many troubling tales about them. I am with my boyfriend/husband who is accompanying me out of companionship than interest in my research. We reach a clearing.

It is a village. There are hammocks in open air "huts" for lack of a better word. The villagers all look at me; its obvious they are from a variety of backgrounds as the skin and hair color varies quite a bit. When I enter the clearing, all activity stops and they stare at me. Some are clothed, some are completely naked. It's confusing.

I'm caught off guard; I was not expecting to see anyone, much less an entire village of the natives who are so mysterious. I stop and look back at them, nervous. My boyfriend is behind me, unsure of what to do.

I approach slowly, trying to approach in a cautious yet friendly manner. No one else moves. They watch me move toward the empty center square.

Suddenly, there's a shout and the people rush. I am surrounded and caught up in arms of men and women. My boyfriend is caught also and pulled away. We are unsure what is happening. There is fear. He is pulled away to the side and tied up to a pole: ankles, knees, waist, hands, chest. Some men bring over a wooden apparatus near the center of the clearing where I am held and currently gagged. Its a rough wooden table, or so it appears. They strip me of my clothes, lay me down on my back, and bind me to it. I can't move.

I look to my boyfriend in support. He is frightened, nervous for me. The villagers take my legs and spread them apart, wide out to the sides. My arms are tied out to the side. I am laid bare for all to see. I whimper in fear.

The men circle around me. Now they are all naked. They have their cocks in their hands and they are jacking off around me. I can barely see through them to the boyfriend. A woman approaches my head and in a barely discernible accent, she explains my purpose. This village prides itself on its ability to please women. Each man is expected to please each woman at least once. If she is not clearly satisfied, then he is considered not a man until he is able to do so. They take this training very seriously. In order to pass through the village, I must be pleased by every man.

My mind is reeling, uncertain what to expect. I'm to be "fed" to the men who know nothing about me. I am to be used and used until they have all gained manhood status again.

And it starts. (This is where my story starts to vary depending on my mood and desires).

Sometimes, the first is inexperienced. He doesn't know quite how to touch, what to do. He is tender, careful, and jumpy. The elders tell him what to do more of based on my reactions. The young, inexperienced ones always rely on manual stimulation. My clit is a guaranteed orgasm, but it takes so long. I cum very hard.

Sometimes, the first is talented orally. He is known for his ability to give oral pleasure to women. When he kneels before my pussy, the women of the village chuckle, knowing that I am about to experience something wonderful, intoxicating.

Sometimes, the first is the one with the smallest penis. The first to start fucking me. The first to stretch me out as they work up through the sizes. He thumbs my clit while he fucks me. I cum quickly, before he is satisfied.

If I cum before he cums, then he stops and continues to jack off around me. I am surrounded by hard dicks pointing at me. They loom over me. Sometimes I am forced to rub them while they play with my cunt. Sometimes I am forced to suck on them while another fucks me.

This is where I normally orgasm. The story never progresses very long.

Before the BF, my partner was always sickened and saddened by my treatment. I never wanted to cum but they forced me to.

Now that the BF is in my life and sex has changed, so has the story. Now, I look through the sea of throbbing hard-ons and see the BF with his own hard-on. He sees my body, sees my pleasure, hears my moans. He is jealous, turned on, desires. The women of the village laugh at him. The slap at his cock and ass while he watches.

Will he be forced to pleasure all of the women? I don't know. Will he be forced to pleasure me? Perhaps. Will he be able to resist pleasuring me? No, probably not.

In the end, I cum, moaning and screaming. I imagine the fingers, the tongues, the cocks. In my mind, its all very real.

On a sex nerd kind of note (because I read books about sex and culture often), I was pleased to read in my copy of Jonathan Margolis' book, O: The Intimate History of the Orgasm about the Mangaia people of the Cook Islands where sex is something that is taught by the elders and it is expected that a woman should have multiple orgasms for each session of sex. Males are taught that if they cannot and do not please their woman sufficiently, she will search for another source of pleasure. In a way, I see this fantasy as an extension of that kind of culture.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Naughty in the office

My first thought "Sex in the workplace"
We took a drive in the countryside. Although he's been with me nearly a year, we've barely explored the country around us. Today we wandered north toward my office. He's never been there. Before today.

We pulled up to the office and parked in the front. No other cars in the front, but I couldn't see the side parking lot fully. I let myself in - I'm lucky to have a 24/7 security badge - and walked to my cube.

It was dark. All of the lights were off except a few ceiling panels. I showed him my messy cubicle. There is a single light on above my cubicle; otherwise its dark all around us. I show him around the office a little bit, ending up back at my cube.

It's so quiet. He reaches down, lifts up my skirt, and rubs my pussy through my panties. "You're very wet," he tells me. I bite my lip. "Why?"

"From this morning." For a moment I think about the sex we had this morning. We started in scissors, them on my stomach, then side-by-side. Finally, he had made me cum with his finger in my asshole as he fucked me. Oh yes, I was quite wet from that still.

He looks at me as I lean back onto my desk. "I think we should fuck right here," he suggests.

My breath hitches and my eyes widen. "Here? Now?"

He grins. "Yes, I want to." He leans down and kisses me.

Then we hear a noise - a trash can is being emptied. Someone is here in the office with us. I take a brief walk. There are no lights on aside from the few ceiling panels. I don't hear anything else. It's completely silent again.

I go back to my cubicle, he's waiting for me. We begin whispering. I'm not sure what to do; I'm not sure who is here or where they are. How can we fuck with the danger of being caught like this? I'm nervous. He reaches around and grabs at my ass. "You know you want to," he whispers.

I'm nervous, almost giddy. "Ok, let's do it. Quickly." I start rubbing his cock through his jeans. In just a few moments its growing very hard. I love how fast he responds to my touch. Very soon, he's pulling his cock up as it's too restricting now in his pants.

He pushes me around, and I pull my pink panties down to my knees. He pulls my skirt up. I hear him unzip his pants. He rubs the head of his cock in my wetness, teasing my vagina. And then, he forces it in. All the way.

I gasp, and he shushes me immediately. "Quiet!" he whispers to me. I bite my lip and lean over my desk. I try to keep silent. His penis feels so big in me. I think about what we're doing -  having sex in my office with someone else around. I cum instantly. My legs shake and quiver. I try to stay quiet but a moan barely escapes my lips.

"Shhh!" he shushes me again. I stifle my gasps; I can barely handle it. I'm not used to being silent. I open my eyes and look down the hallway - what if someone comes down this way looking for the source of the slight noise we're making? And then I'm hit with another orgasm. I can barely stay standing.

I grip the edge of my desk. He's been thrusting shallow in me and pretty slowly. My thoughts are running away from me;  I'm so scared we're going to be caught. What will I say if someone finds me? What if its an exec? Fuck his dick feels so good in me... oh fuck!

"Quiet!" he shushes me a third time. I lower my head onto my purse and stare down the hallway. All I can feel is his dick in me and his hands on my hips, using me as leverage. He starts to fuck a bit harder and I am having a hard time staying quiet at all. It's only been a few minutes he's cumming in me. His knees start to give way, he's gripping me hard. I grind up against him and my legs tremble as well.

He pulls out and I can feel his cum spilling out of my pussy when he pulls out. I pull up my panties and smooth down my skirt. When I turn around, his cock is already hidden away in his pants. We smile and kiss. And then kiss some more.

"That was hot," I say in between kisses. He grins in agreement. We start to leave, and his knee buckles. His legs are a bit like jello. I give him a look.

"What?" he says a bit defensively. "I came so good, I can barely walk."
He fucked me...

Friday, May 11, 2012

He returned the favor

Note: While this post very much stands on its own, there is a back story to it in parts one and two.

 I woke up from a very warm body wrapping itself around me, pulling my body close. My skin felt cold against his heat. He wrapped arms around me, and from head to toe we were touching. I sighed contentedly as my "good morning" to my lover. I felt very sleepy still. Last night we had been up until past 3, me spanking him with our new riding crop. He had fallen asleep rather quickly and I had decided to wait until morning for my orgasm. What was a few more hours?

And here he was holding me, almost too hot against my skin. My mind was sluggish to wake up. He let me slowly come back to life, kissing my shoulder and at the base of my neck. I curled more into him. "I love you."

He kissed me again. "I love you. Good morning, beautiful." I grinned and pulled him tighter. He kissed my cheek. "I love you, you're so pretty." Then he kissed my shoulder. And my back. "I love your back." His hand wandered to my breast. "I love your boobs, they're so big and wonderful." He kissed me again. Hands wandered to my stomach. "Sexy stomach, I love it so much." And my ass. "Oh I love your ass... its so perfect." And my thighs. "Oh I love your thick thighs they are so sexy baby."

My mind, so tired from just a few hours sleep, was now awake and following every touch and word with excitement and wonder. What a perfect way to wake up.

I rolled onto my back to look at him. I smiled, he brushed some hair from my face, hand resting on the crown of my head. He kissed my cheek and then my lips as his hand wandered down to a nipple to tweak and tug a little bit.

He sat up, and pulled my legs apart. My insecurity hit me. Oh no! I haven't showered... I should go shower, it's been wet all night and he won't like it... he'll taste it and stop right away! I panicked in my head. But no, true to his complete love for all parts of me, he ran a finger or two along my lips before gently spreading them and giving me his first tender lick.

My body melted into butter. He licked my clit, his fingers played with my wetness already covering my pussy. He was gentle, sweet, and just the right firmness against my clit. I spread my legs wider and he pushed a bit more into my cunt; I moaned when he took his first longer lick, spreading my wetness everywhere with his tongue. I pulled my knees toward my chest, spread very wide. He pushed them further apart as he ate me out. The pressure of his hands on my legs felt exquisite.

He sucked at my clit with intensity now. I started making loud moans that were nearly screams. I grabbed at his hands and his head. I voiced "Yes... oh yes baby.... fuck right there oh right there!" as he licked and sucked at me. "Mmmmmmm" he hummed and he buried his face in my whole pussy. I screamed as I pulled on his hair. "Oh you taste so good...fuck baby you smell amazing. I think I need to eat you again tonight... its so good!" Those words alone made me pant and scream, but it was the absolute takeover of my entire crotch by his face that made me grip the sheets and scream as he finally brought me to orgasm. He kept his face buried in me before making me cum again.

I lay panting. He crawled up to me and I kissed his face, as much of it as I could. I smelled sweet on him, and tasted delicious on his tongue.

"I'm going to fuck you now."

My eyes popped open. "What? NOW?" I was ready to go back to sleep.

"Yes, now," and his dick was hard against my clit. "See what you do to me? See what eating your pussy does to my dick?" It was very hard, and my very wet pussy let him slide right into me.

I moaned as he filled me. I know I get very wet when I orgasm, but this time I felt like I could drown his dick in my cum. I could feel the wet surrounding him, moving in me as he moved in and out. His face reflected the same pleasure, only I'm sure very heightened for his dick. His face was in ecstasy and he buried it in my breasts. He moved in and out of me and ran my fingers up and down his back.

He pushed up on my pelvis a bit and an orgasm built quickly from the extra pressure on my clit. I came, scratching his back which, I found out from this experience, he loves. He slowed to let my body relax slightly, then he continued to fuck me. I was lost in the moments until he spoke again: "I think you should suck wetness of my dick, I know you want a taste of your pussy."

He knows just what to say to me. I pushed him off me and licked his dick. Oh I DO taste so good right now! It was slightly sweet, like water with a little bit of honey in it. A few licks wasn't enough, I swallowed his cock, licking and sucking every part of my wetness of his dick. He moaned in pleasure as his eyes rolled back and then shut, chin tilting up toward the ceiling.

I had intended to get just a taste, then go back to sex. But I was cock hungry and he was enjoying it so much. I positioned myself in my normal cock-sucking position and sucked to my hearts content. I focused on pushing as much of him in - I'm so close to deep throating him. This morning I kept pushing the boundaries and choking on his dick, which he loved. He loves to hear my choke, the sound and feel of me gagging on him.

I never let choking stop me. It only makes me want it more. I don't remember much about sucking him, I was lost in the moment (and I am writing this 5 days later). When he did cum, I swallowed his cum - deep in the back of my throat as the good cock-sucking girl that I am.

I laid down next to him, satisfied and happy. And then his fingers wandered toward my clit. I opened my legs for him and looked into his eyes. "More?" I asked, hoping the answer was yes.

"Yes, my beautiful." And he started playing with me. My clit was so sensitive... and then he remembered. The crop.

He made me play with myself, rub my clit while he swatted at my nipples and breasts, my legs. He made me put my legs in the air to swat my bottom. All while I played with myself. The spanks me gave me stung slightly, but they brought more pleasure than pain. I loved it. It was like spikes of pleasure all over my body.

He ordered me to spread my pussy lips wide for him. He spanked my clit. Hard. My whole body jerked and flinched. It was so intense. Intense pain on my clit that made it feel like warmth was spreading from my clit throughout my pussy. But then another sting, then another. I tried to close my legs but he prevented me from doing it by sitting between them. I started to cry out with each blow. It was so painful and yet pleasurable somehow. A completely new type of pleasure.

He stopped spanking me, and finished me off with his hands. I came with shudders and spasms and screams. The spanking had left me so sensitive I could barely stand the direct touch he was giving me.

Oh Sunday morning. I love you so much...

Thursday, May 10, 2012

His first crop spanking

Note, this is part 2 of a 3 part story. Read part 1 here.

He flinched slightly at my little flicks with the crop against his butt. I gently ran my free hand over his cheeks, feeling him lightly. More little flicks. It felt like just the right weight in my hand - enough to get a good swoosh and land a slightly stinging hit, but not too heavy where the motion would feel too repetitive. Perfect.

I started spanking him more with it, alternating between cheeks. The head of the crop is a rectangle, about 3 inches long but only an inch wide. It gives a very direct hit which very quickly turns the skin a light blush red. I made sure both of his cheeks were turning a nice pink glow before I touched his cock for the first time.

I touch it, it was growing hard, but nowhere near hard yet. I was tempted to keep spanking him until he was hard, but it was nearly 2am and I did want to play with him a lot. My free hand reached around and started lightly running my fingers up and down his cock while my other hand was flicking his ass with the crop. I varied the strength of the hits - no need to make it repetitive quite yet. He flinched at the heavier blows, and relaxed with the lighter ones.

I paused to apply lube to his cock. We are running low on our good lube, so we bought some emergency back-up at the sex shop to make sure the good stuff lasted. It was runny and half dribbled onto the bed when I turned my hand over to apply to his cock. He tensed at its coolness. He had been growing harder still before I applied the lube, now he was almost rock hard with my hand gliding on him. He moaned into the bed, eyes closing.

I turned my attention back to his ass. I hit him with the crop, making random choices on which side and where to hit him, sometimes moving on, other times hitting him in the same spot over and over. It started to grow painful and he was flinching. With each flinch I watched his balls swing freely between his legs. I took the crop and gently, lovingly spanked him.

His eyes popped open in surprise. "Gentle!" he urged, almost panicked. I hit him again.

"Aren't I being gentle?"

"Well, yeah..." I hit his balls again and again. Then without warning, a hard SMACK to his ass. He moaned again. I dropped the crop and smacked him with my hand. I left an outline of my hand on one cheek, then the other. His ass was still pink from the crop, and now it was turning a brighter red. I hit him hard, making my hand sting. He moaned loud.

I stopped moving my hand on his cock, holding it still, and I spanked him with  my hand again. His body flinched forward with my blows, forcing his cock to move slightly in my hand. Each blow was a mix of pain and pleasure for him and his moans betrayed which side was winning.

"Are you a naughty boy?" I asked.

"Yes... oh yes I'm naughty!" was the eager reply.

I hit him hard again. Again. Again. "Why are you naughty? Tell me reasons."

He didn't say a word. I hit him hard, as hard as my hand could. His eyes pinched in pain. I ordered him to tell me why he was naughty. I removed my hand from his hard cock again. More smacks. "Tell me, or I'll just spank you and let your dick go limp." He whimpered. My hand was stinging.

"I like boys." He almost whispered.

I picked up the crop and hit him very hard with it. He cried out. "Naughty! You shouldn't like boys!" Again and again I landed stinging blows on him. "You're so naughty. I bet you wish I was a boy jerking you off." I grabbed his dick in my hand and started jacking him off again.

He moaned into his pillow. When he didn't answer I spanked his balls lightly again. "Answer me."

"Yes! Yes!" he conceded. I spanked him for his answer. Then I dropped his cock again and spread his ass cheeks apart.

"I bet you wish he would eat your asshole, too."

He moaned again, and I applied fresh lube to my hand and went back to jerking him off. I spanked him with my hand again, focusing on one cheek while I bit his other ass cheek. "Naughty" I said in between bites. I kissed him a couple of times, then bit again. I watched my hand land blows on his red cheek. His dick felt very hard in my hand.

His ass was high in the air, perfect for receiving that cock or tongue I knew he was thinking about. I took up the crop again, used my dick-hand to spread his cheeks again, and spanked his asshole with the crop. "Naughty, naughty, naughty boy thinking about other men!" He moaned into his pillow again. "I know you want them to lick you there!" And then I was smacking his cheeks again, hard and my hand was on his dick jerking rough and fast.

"I am... I do... I'm so naughty...." he breathed into his pillow with shut eyes.

More blows with the crop and all of his ass was a nice red hue. I dropped the crop and used my hand again. "You're a fag," I said harshly. His eyes opened in surprised - I've never used that term before, only he has. But I spanked and jerked him hard, he moaned into his pillow more. I could tell he was getting close to orgasm, so I held his dick, hand not moving again. I squeezed him gently.

"Thinking about those boys you like? I bet you wish they would do this," and I shoved my face into his ass, licking his asshole with fast rapid strokes. His whole body tensed and his moans became loud and high pitched. He begged me to not stop, keep going, lick that asshole...

I stopped. I spanked him for enjoying it too much. His moans became almost squeals of pleasure, I hit him with my hand as hard as I could. He twitched when his cock moved in my still hand. Yes, he was too close to orgasm still. I picked up the crop and made blows that I'm sure would sting. I had to make sure his ass stayed a bright red color.

Then I removed my hand from his very hard dick, and continued to lick his asshole again. I licked and tongued him, spreading his cheeks, forcing them apart. His squeals turned into the highest pitch sound he could make, disappearing into silence as I ate him out. I licked and kissed him as fast as I could. I attacked his asshole with my tongue.

Then I stopped again. More lube on my hands, then very strong jerking motions. His head rose off the pillow, eyes pinched shut. My other hand started smacking him very hard, pushing his body forward with the force of each blow. His cock was so hard in my hand it made my fingers hurt. I didn't relieve my grip, I jerked him faster. I spanked him with my flat palm pushing his body with each blow.

His head looked down towards his cock and I knew he was close. He always watches himself cum. I spanked as fast as I could without losing any strength in my blows to his very red cheek. "Don't you stop, don't you dare stop!" He started to yell at me.

I didn't stop. I hit him over and over, arm swinging back while my other one held onto him, leaning forward with the blows so he didn't wrench his cock from my grip. He yelled it more, his body now pushing forward and my blows kept pushing him. "Don't you DARE STOOOO....." and the word was lost in his growl. I didn't stop. I spanked and jerked him while his body tried to get away from me. I pursued him.

He trembled and lost his strength, collapsing onto the bed and rolling onto his side. I looked at him, smiling. He was curled into a ball, moaning slightly.

I got up and washed the lube off my hands and rinsed out my mouth. I returned to the bed and lightly kissed his face; he jumped awake. His eyes opened briefly to look at me. "I love you," I said.

"I love you," he was barely speaking. "Oh baby. Oh my goodness."

"Yeah?" I said, grinning. He hadn't moved again.

"You are perfect. Just... perfect."

"Oh I am?"

"Yes. So... perfect. Oh my goodness...."

I crawled next to him and cuddled him. A few minutes passed and I replayed his orgasm in my head while I spooned him.

"Honey..." it was said with a tone I knew. "I don't think I can eat you out tonight..."

"I know," I said. "Tomorrow."

"Ok... thank you." And then, after a pause, "Honey...." in the same tone.


"I hate to ask you... but I'm really hungry... could you get me something to eat?"


"I'm so hungry... please?"


"And something to drink, too?"

"Yes, dear."

I went to the kitchen. The clock read 2:58am. I had played with him for a lot longer than I realized. I made him a quesadilla, brought him a drink, and put on some cartoons as we cuddled in bed snacking. He ate leaning on his side; sitting up seemed like too much effort. He called me the best girlfriend and the perfect woman.

Finally, it was time for sleep. His cum spot which took up a good 3x6 inch square right in the middle of his normal sleeping spot. I moved him over closer to me, and held him as we went to sleep.

The next morning, he repaid the orgasm in some very excellent ways...

to be continued...

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Date night our way, pt 1

We decided to go out and have an actual date night. It had been several weeks since we've actually gone out to dinner and enjoyed our time together. It was a much needed break. First, a quick review of the day: Wake up. Cuddle. Sex. Cuddle. Video games. Movie on the couch. Video games. A typical Saturday for us, actually.

So we headed out to dinner to our favorite restaurant - Chili's. It was the place of our first "date" (I'm putting that in quotes because it happened after we met online and then slept together after our first meeting, detailed in a 2-part entry here and here). The first time we ate there, we were both so shy and nervous. Conversation was difficult and and our shy natures made it a quiet meal. (The irony of the first "date" being awkward even after all the talking and skyping and in-person sex we'd had is not lost on us!)

Dinner was fun. We were seated in a far, empty corner of the restaurant away from the crowds which I appreciated. Eventually another couple was sat in our section, but it remained quiet. We laughed and giggled and had a great time just enjoying each other's company.

After dinner, I remembered I had a Groupon to a local sex toy store. We decided to head there next. We wandered and wandered, unsure what to get. I found out they have a very nice selection of all things lingerie - shoes, gloves, stockings, bras, panties, oh my! What I was disappointed to find is they stock of lot of jelly toys and most of their lube contains glycerin - a big no no for us. We checked out their video section - they rent and sell. I've never rented an adult DVD before, maybe we'll go back and try some DVDs out. (Like the gay stud one the BF pointed at and grinned).

We made our purchases and headed home. We had lingered a long time in the store, but how could we not? We got home and hopped onto our computers - more video gaming was needed! Finally, around 1am or so we decided it was time to log off and head to the bedroom for our fun.

First, we showered together. Then, we got ready for bed and I prepped one of new purchases for us: a Spartacus leather riding crop. We gave each other some trial smacks with it, and we both liked the sensation. It had a nice snap to it; not too sharp where it stung but enough of a whip to actually enjoy it. I knew it had exciting prospects for me - I can't take him spanking me, but perhaps I could take a spanking from this!

His turn first. We had talked earlier in the day that it had been much too long (like two weeks) since I had given him a proper spanking. That talk had inspired the purchase of the crop. I had him assume the position we normally take for this: on his hands and knees, ass in the air and head on the bed. I sat around him at the back, one leg straight out toward his face, the other around his legs. I had easy access to his ass and dick now.

I gave him some preliminary spanks, testing the range and feel of the crop. It was long, but I liked the movement it required of me. The swoosh in the air made a very slight sound. Yes, this was going to be very fun...

To be continued.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

TMI Tuesday: M is for Masturbation

1. How often do you masturbate?  I masturbate maybe once a week, if that. It really depends on what's been going on. Past few weeks I've indulged 2-3 times in the week just because, well, I wanted to. My boyfriend's answer: "At least once a day, unless you're home... not gonna lie, I masturbated 3 times today." (My reaction: WHAT!? Three??? Is that why you were so happy when I got home today? His answer was yes...)  Although he does occasionally masturbate when I'm home, such as the time he sniffed my pussy to jack off.

2. What are you doing to celebrate Masturbation month?  I find its a good reason to masturbate and tell you about it. And get creative with masturbation. Such as the time I made him watch, or we masturbated together. If anything, there will be many more blog entries about masturbation this month from me.

3. Do you like to watch your partner masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. Not really, it's boring.
d. No, it's a turn off.
e. I've never experienced it but I'd like to.

My answer is definitely A. Him touching his dick is so incredibly sexy. It takes a lot for me not to be interested in him or sex or orgasm at all when he starts touching himself. It's so hot!

My BF's answer is A with the caveat that sometimes he's not interested in an orgasm, and watching me turns him on too much therefore he doesn't want to watch and listen. He can be too tired to want anything himself, so he'll try to ignore me and sleep... I'm pretty loud when I masturbate and he usually ends up with a boner anyway.

4. Do you let your partner watch you masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on to be watched.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. No, it's embarrassing.
d. I've never experienced it, but I'd like to.

My answer is B. I don't like to be watched all the time. For me masturbation can be very private; it was very hard for me to let him watch me. It takes me a lot longer to cum as I'm distracted by his presence and can't focus on my fantasy. Normally I end up cheating and asking him to touch me lightly or tease me by running his hands so gently on me that I become entranced at his touch.

My BF says A and B. He likes to be watched because he sees how it turns me on,  but it's not something he necessarily searches out (obviously since his masturbation is so frequent without me).

5. Mutual masturbation? Yay or Nay?  Definitely yes!!! We love to masturbate together. Often we'll spend the moments look at each other, or I'll lay on his shoulder with one of his arms around me so we're touching. It's very intimate.

6. If you had an all-expense paid trip to San Francisco to attend Masturbate-a-thon 2012 would you go and masturbate? Why or why not?  I would love to go, but I don't know if I would be able to masturbate in front of anyone myself... it would feel too public or exposed for me and I'm much more comfortable in my own head. I also don't like to masturbate unless I'm lying down, preferably in my bed. My BF says he would go, and he would masturbate. He would probably get off watching other people get off, but he is more excited about the free trip.

Bonus: Are you addicted to masturbating? Me: No, I'm not. BF: Maybe. Possibly. I don't want to say that I'm not, because I just might be. I could be, I guess...

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace/blog. Answer the questions there, then leave a comment at the TMI Tuesday blog. Don't forget to link to the blog from your website!

Friday, May 4, 2012

May the 4th

... be with you!

Today is May 4th, aka, STAR WARS day!!! Star Wars is, and ever will be, my most favorite movie of all time. So to celebrate, we give you these....

In our Star Wars shirts and panties
I got booty!

Lifting it up....
Getting closer...

This picture blocked by the boyfriend.
Hope you enjoy our Star Wars feature. And seriously, Han shot first...

Thursday, May 3, 2012

I came out as bisexual

I've known for years that I was bisexual. When I first realized I was "different" than most of my friends, I was in high school. I didn't know there was such a thing called bisexuality. I knew people were straight and that anything else was spoken in hushed tones, like if you said it too loud or spoke about it too long, something bad would happen.

My earliest memory of realizing there was anything other than man-woman couple was watching Mrs. Doubtfire where the dad turns to his gay friend for help dressing as a woman. To me, the "costumer" (as I assumed his identity) was just another person who spoke kind of funny. My mother's reaction was a shocked "oh!" with a tsk-ing noise and a comment about how she thought it was inappropriate. I knew something was odd, but I wasn't sure what.

Some years later either my sister or I asked why some men pierce one ear and why left or right side. My mom told me (and I'll never forget this): "Left is right, right is wrong." It was "the signal" of being on the wrong side of sexuality. We never talked about sexuality; I don't ever remember my parents saying the word gay or homosexual, although I'm sure at one point they must have.

Then we moved to a house where a lesbian couple lived across the street. I had never met anyone (to my knowledge) who was "that way." To my knowledge they were incredibly rare and weird. But here they were - neighbors!  They were great neighbors and of course we returned the favor, despite calling them "the girls" behind their backs. (A fact that I'm ashamed of today).

Anyway, I digress. It was in late high school or college when I first heard the term bisexual and it instantly clicked that it was right. It defined exactly where I was confused because I didn't fit the "straight" box and I didn't fit "lesbian" either. Bisexual? That was me. But I only told one person - my best friend who had first told me about the term because it was also her sexual identity.

It was years before I told anyone else. I was still very much in my shell. I had never considered how being bisexual fit into my identity. I'd had mostly boy-crushes in school and no one would ever guess. It was pushed to the bottom of the pile of self-discovery - college was too distracting and soon I was dating my ex. I told him eventually; he was fine with it, because he assumed I would never do anything about it. We were strictly monogamous.

So I ignored it. College was done, I was married, and life was started. And then something changed. Friends from college started coming out. Gay rights started popping up in the news and I was paying attention to current events for the first time in my life. And I finally started thinking about my sexuality. I knew who I was, but I was hiding it from everyone. Even when my friends came out, I didn't say anything in return. I wasn't ready for the world to know.

My ex and I became somewhat active in our pro-gay rights views. My parents did not understand why I wanted to march in DC with 200,000 other people. They didn't know why I was posting petitions to facebook. We had arguments about religion and politics. It grew heated and I felt personally attacked but unable to find a voice to say why; so I told them I wouldn't discuss it anymore.

Every once in a while my mom would try to talk about it, trying to figure out why I believed so differently from her/them/my upbringing. I did my best to keep it civil, but it reinforced why I was hiding.

Then I got divorced. I had found freedom and my voice. I met the boyfriend. I started tweeting. I started blogging. I grew more confident.

And then I realized I didn't have a reason to hide anymore. If anything, I was hurting myself by keeping a significant part of myself secret and hidden. It was time to tell everyone.

I did this by posting a note on my vanilla facebook account and then tagging everyone of any significance in my life. Here is a portion of what I posted:

When I found the term bisexual I knew instantly that it fit. It fit that I wasn't straight or lesbian, I was kind of both. I completely agree with the idea that sexuality is on a sliding scale. Its rare that you are just straight or just gay. I'm more straight than gay. If you put it on a scale of 0=100% straight and 10=100% gay, then I'd define myself as a 4 or 5.

So why am I telling you this? Well, because there's nothing to hide about it. Its who I am, who I've been, and who I will be. It won't change or go away. For the longest time I pretended it wasn't there because it didn't "fit" well into my life. What I've learned is that ignoring who you are makes your life a lie and you reflect that internal turmoil with being unhappy with yourself. You can't be yourself with those you love and care about.

I want to live authentically, true to myself and who I am.

I don't think I new any non-straight people growing up... or at least, I didn't know I had gay/bi/queer/etc friends at all until they came out during some point of their adult lives. What amazes me is that many more people than I ever suspected were more than the "straight" we assume people automatically are. I'm glad I can be trusted by those who have come out to me. Some are publicly out, others are not. It doesn't matter as its all in their own time to come out, if they ever do.

For me, learning that someone is gay/bi/queer/etc has made me appreciate how diverse our world really is. It really doesn't matter where you're from or what your background is, you are born a certain way and there's nothing you can do to change that.

 Reactions were pretty much what I expect. There are those that didn't care, those who were supportive, and the typical, "Lucky BF!" automatically assuming this is the golden way to get a threeway whenever he wants. Lovely stereotypes!

And then there was my mother. She and I are not friends on facebook since I kicked her off my page a year or so ago... it was also something that I felt I should say to her rather than send in an email. I chickened out for a week. And then a few more days. And then I decided that it just needed to be said.

It went better than I expected. It turns out she found my note through my sister's facebook a few days ago and the time had allowed her to calm down from being "very upset." She doesn't understand it at all, she doesn't even believe bisexual exists, and a lot of other conservative/religious mumbo.

In the end, it was a calm discussion, we didn't argue hardly at all, and it ended well. It's not the end of the dialogue by any means, but at least she knows and I know she knows.

And its over. I'm out. I'm free. It didn't change me for the worse, it just made me stronger.