Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Review: Don Wands Pink Graduate Glass Dildo

Note: This product was provided by Erotic Toy Town in exchange for an honest review. You can check out all the glass dildos available at Erotic Toy Town right here.

The Toy
I was looking forward to this review for so many reasons! First, this is my first double-ended dildo and I was so excited to see how both ends worked for me. I only have one other glass dildo, but its more of a rabbit style and a completely different shape. (It is the Icicles No 16 shown here).

This is the Don Wands Pink Graduate Dildo. The two ends of this toy are different shapes and sizes and, for me, serve very different functions. Side A features a pointed "head" that is the same size and shape as the first bulb on Side B. The shaft is then narrow and curved toward what I consider the end of Side B. The curve in this dildo is not extreme, but I found if I was holding the opposite end, it was too pointed up for my comfort. Instead, it made for a great handle for using Side B.

After trying Side A and then Side B, I ended up using Side B exclusively. The two bulbs after the "head" are an excellent size and shape difference between the largest and smallest circumference of the bulbs. The difference is noticeable yet not extreme.

I love glass toys for several reasons and this toy is a great example. It is non-porous so it's body safe and able to be sterilized by boiling water, washing in the top rack of your dishwasher, or rinsing with a water/bleach solution. (I'm not a fan of bleach so I always going boiling or dishwasher). In between sterilizing washes I'll wash it with regular soap and water.

I'm not normally a fan of pink, but pink glass is pretty!
To warm it up (room temperature seems really cold on my pussy) I'll run it under hot water for about thirty seconds and then it feels very warm against my skin. You can put it in the fridge and freezer for some temperature play, but that's not really in my interest for this toy, so I haven't done that.

The Sex (for him)
The only time he really uses this toy is when I ask him to help me get off with it. Normally this toy is a masturbation toy for me, but I can't get a fast back and forth motion on my own, so I ask him for help. He's more than helpful and will use the "handle" (aka the end of Side A) to fuck me with this toy in a sawing type motion. I love the feeling of these bulbs sliding in and out of my vagina and the rhythm he selects is usually perfect. Sometimes I have to tell him to slow down as this is a glass toy and if he moves it too fast it feels like he's beating up my vagina rather than pleasuring me.

I offered to use this toy on him anally, but we had a couple of concerns. First, the angle on side A makes it awkward and too shallow to hit his prostate. For side B, he does not like texture in his anal play and he didn't want the experience of having these bulbs slide in and out. We decided not to use this toy on him and keep it for me. (This also helps cut down on how often we sterilize it vs a simple soap and water wash).

The Sex (for her)
This toy has become my favorite dildo! I would never have guessed it had such potential, but aside from my favorite bullet vibe and the Hitachi, it is one of three toys and the only dildo that has claimed a permanent spot on my nightstand for frequent use. IT IS THAT GOOD.

The first time I used this toy on Side B, I realized there was some great potential here. My first orgasm with this toy was just OK, but that's how all toys seem to be on the first try. Since my second try, I've been hooked on it.

Nightstand quality
The length of Side B is perfect - I really don't need a long dildo to get off. I've gotten off with just sliding the "head" in and out of me -- so shallow! -- as I'm very sensitive at the entrance of my vagina. If I go in to the second or third bulb, I can hit my G-spot just right and most of the time I end up squirting. EASY SQUIRTING. I can't believe I used to try so hard with other toys and could never happen. This toy is the right everything, I'm guaranteed a squirt within a couple of minutes of play.

After I've squirted with this toy, I'll continue to play with it or just leave it in me while I use the Hitachi on my clit. The combo of these two toys gives me an incredible dual clitoral-vaginal orgasm so incredibly good, even I surprise myself with the screaming. My vagina clamps down and squeezes the dildo during orgasm, and the hardness of the glass mixed with my vaginal spasms is... bliss. Wet, orgasmic bliss!

The Judgement
What more can I say about this toy? It's a winner. A favorite. A favorite that has made the nightstand of honor. I love this toy, especially when combined with the Hitachi.I have bigger toys, longer toys, thicker toys, and certainly more expensive toys... but they can't do what this dildo does for me. Thank you Erotic Toy Town for the awesome dildo!

Monday, January 28, 2013

Dating profile and the dream

The other night, two things happened while the FHF was at class.

First, I started a dating profile on OKC looking specifically for local girls to date in a possible secondary relationship.


It took me ages to set it up. I've never ventured into online dating. I've actually never tried to find a date, things just.... happen. So I looked, browsed, answered questions, looked at some potential matches and got excited.  Excited, but too nervous to take the first step. Plus, I didn't want to send of messages with an unfinished, brand new profile. So I forced myself to work on my profile.

Several hours later, it was up. When FHF came home, I told him the news and he was happy for me and wished me luck in finding someone. I'm so excited to have his support in this!

But I'm so incredibly nervous. I feel like an idiot who is running off into uncharted territory searching for who knows what...  I don't know how to do this!? If a message does come in (or if I get up the nerve to ask someone out) - I will be so nervous. I am choosing NOT to think about that right now.

And then that night: what I remember as my first ever girl-girl dream. I've often thought that the reason I've never had a lesbian dream before is because I've never had that girl-girl experience, so I have only my imagination to go off of - but my imagination feels so limited compared that its hard to imagine it.

The dream:
I am going to a back specialist because my large boobs and the bras accompanying them have made me have back problems. I go up to the office in a large office building and the waiting room is large. In fact, it looks like a physical therapy office with a welcome desk in the center and then people all around moving in different ways. There's an odd corner of people napping in sleeping bags and I shrug it off as some weird therapy tool. I hope I get to nap too, they look so comfy.

I'm asked to wait and I wonder with all of the people in the room how long my wait will be and what exactly she'll want me to do for my back. I assume some massage and then stretching that I won't enjoy.

A woman with dark raven hair approaches me. She is wearing black heals with pointed toes, bare legs, a wool skirt to the knee, dark blouse, and a white doctor's coat that ends mid-thigh. She looks like a TV doctor: professional, beautiful, fit. Too perfect. She looks at her clipboard as she calls my name, eyeing me for conformation. I stand, and she invites me toward the back where I see there are small offices hidden along a back wall. They almost look like cubicles with doors rather than offices.

We step inside and I notice the room is bare save the carpet and a wood cupboard. So, there will be stretching and stuff I won't enjoy. And I don't see a sleeping bag, damn. 

"So, you have a girlfriend?" she asks.

I'm confused. How does she know I like women? "No," I answer, "but I have a fiance." I decide not to point out my fiance is a man and not a woman. I'd rather keep her thinking I like women.

She invites me to take off my shirt so she can examine where my bra is hitting me compared with my area of complaint and figure out how to help. I pull of my sweater, conscious of my boobs spilling out of my bra as she is turned away fumbling in the cupboard with something.

I turn away to fold my shirt and set my purse down. When I turn back around, there she is. The doctor's coat is gone, as is her skirt, and she's wearing a strap-on with harness. The dildo is pretty big. My eyes stare at it. 

"I'm sure you know what this is." I nod. She lays down on the floor. "Suck." she orders me.

I kneel down between her legs. She is wearing no underwear and the harness is framing her pussy just right. It's completely bare, freshly waxed. She has small pink pussy lips and I can see her clit peaking out at the apex. It looks slick with wetness.

"Suck," she orders again, interrupting my reverie. Her voices is strong and I don't question her authority. I wrap my lips around her dildo and start to suck slowly.

"I don't believe you. Suck like it was real. I want to imagine you wanting this dick." I lick the head and start bobbing slightly down the shaft. I'm so confused and I'm not sure what this has to do with physical therapy, but the sound of her voices makes me want to listen to her. My eyes flick up to her face and she's watching me, intensely.

I am craving her approval and wondering how far this will go. Will I be rewarded for my effort? I start taking longer strokes and trying to deep throat this dildo. It's longer than my fiance's -- there's no way I can do this. She sees my effort and encourages me with an approving "good girl."

Spit runs down the shaft as my lips pursue the end of it, reaching toward her pussy mound. I can smell her scent and its musk is delicious. I start to think about tasting it. My saliva starts dripping down the shaft and drops are spilling onto her. Once again I take a look at her and she is smiling, pleased with me. Her hands reach toward my head and she runs her slender fingers through my hair.

I look down at her cunt and see her lips are slick with wet. I want to taste her so much! I reach my hands up to grab her hips, but before I can touch her, she grabs my hands and slams them onto the floor beside her.  "No touching me today," she says. "Just suck for now."

For now. Today. So, what will happen in my future visits? 

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Emotional torture

The emotional torture that comes with PCOS is something they don't warn you about.  Everyone talks about the physical symptoms: horrible weight gain, uncontrollable periods, extra body hair and/or loss of hair where it should be are just a few of the delights that a woman with PCOS has to deal with.

What they don't prepare you for is the absolute emotional wreck you can be.

It's really hard to listen to women talk about how bad their PMS is or how its "that time of the month" and how annoying it is when it comes every 30 days or so. A woman with PCOS just wants to tell you how lucky those women are! They have predictability! They have body parts that work right! A woman with PCOS waits and wonders if it will come, not when. And then she wonders if she will be able to manage the horrific heavy flow that dumps more blood in a hour than many women do on a full period. 

A woman with PCOS buys pregnancy tests in bulk because, if she's sexually active, she doesn't know if she's magically (miraculously) pregnant or if her body's just fucking with her. Again. 

She tries not to hate women who are want to get pregnant and do so within a couple of months. For her, it may never happen. She has no idea if she'll ever be successful. How do you get the body to work when it doesn't have enough hormones to make your body ready for a baby every month? 

And if, like me, when she's on birth control and her period is predictable thanks to hormones, she happens to be a day or two late, she starts to hope even though she knows she shouldn't. But how can she help it? How can she not think about if the unthinkable has happened? What if some magical set of circumstances happened and now she will have the full chance to be pregnant like she always wanted? She tries not to think about it. She avoids it. If its on her mind she makes jokes about it, trying to tell herself it won't happen, don't get set on the idea. 

And then she knows its never going to come so she takes the test. And three minutes feels like eternity. It's negative.

She always knew it would be, and yet it feels like a horrific let down anyway. She's not pregnant. And her body still won't function despite the regimen of hormones she religiously gave herself to ensure it would happen.

No, that part of being a woman, no matter how annoying to those who are blessed with a normal system, is not hers. She floats some line of too much testosterone, too little estrogen, and still fully woman. A woman who, even just two hundred years ago, would be considered barren and unwanted. And now, even in today's modern medicine, she can't do anything about it. 

She's stuck, living month to month and always wondering if the period will show up when she leasts expects it or if she'll endure another month with no answers. And, ultimately, will she ever be able to handle the disappointment of not seeing that flood of red that is supposed to be there or, if she's very lucky, have eight months of looking forward to the change a baby would bring her.

She is stuck in limbo. Those who call her lucky don't understand her desperate wish to just have a normal body, normal cycle, normal hormones. Normal challenges. She feels very much alone in a body that isn't supposed to work this way.

Emotional torture. Outside a woman, fully functional. Strong. Beautiful. Inside? Fear of the unknown, unpredictable, mysterious mess. They never warn you about that.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

He wants me to date a woman

I'm a bisexual woman. I want the opportunity to play with partners of both sexes. This is a topic my FHF and I have discussed at length. We've agreed that while our relationship is primary, the other is allowed, permitted, and encouraged to find partners of the opposite sex to play with.

Occasionally I browse craigslist just to see what people are looking for. That led to our first threesome last fall where I got to witness him sucking off penis and having his sucked by another guy. I pegged the guest and my FHF ate me out. It was fun, but the focus was certainly not me. I loved doing a lot of the observing.

I haven't even considered contacting any of the women's ads I see on craigslist.

That's now how I want it to happen. I'm not a casual sex person. It just doesn't compute. I can't go from the first hello to first kiss in minutes or even hours. I need to know who you are, what makes you tick. I need to know that you're attracted to me in mind and body. And I need to know your mind well enough to see if I'm attracted to you. I've discussed before that I might be a demisexual. (So, while I may see sexy and attraction, but I don't have sexual attraction until I know your personality).

I've discussed this with the FHF and he understands. Initially our agreement for opposite-sex play was that the non-play partner would be allowed to be present. We were both OK with this deal.... but now that I'm learning about how I attract to people, I've asked him to consider letting me have my space.

I need time. I need to date the person, you could say, and take things out our pace, whatever that may be. One day he may be invited to watch (I really hope she will let him watch, or even let him join in). However, he's agreed that he doesn't have to observe.

In fact, today, he told me that when I'm done travelling on business in a couple of weeks, that I should start looking for a local potential partner. I scoffed at finding someone in my area and just connecting. And then he said: "Well, meet for coffee. Start dating her. But I want you to find someone. I think you need it."

Four years ago I learned about polyamory. I thought it was perfect for me as a bisexual woman who has a desire to have caring sexual encounters with both sexes. And now, it seems that my FHF and I are possibly heading that way.

Whatever it turns out to be, I'm so happy to have a partner who is so supportive and willing to discuss and renegotiate our relationship as we change together.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

TMI Tuesday: Sexual Adventures

Complete each sentence with an anecdote of sexual adventure or misadventure:
1. The first time I . . . ever felt a penis, I had only seen one in a textbook. I was 18 and had snuck away for the weekend from college with my boyfriend at the time. We'd been "dating" almost a year and had never touched genitals of the opposite sex. The first thing I said when I touched it was, "Holy crap! That is much harder than I thought it would be..." and then got very nervous for my vagina. (We didn't have sex anytime soon after that).
2. The last time I . . . went shopping with the FHF, I showed him a sweater I wanted to get that was a see-through crochet and he popped a boner in the middle of the store. I rubbed up against it (I had to check how hard he was --- and it was really hard). It's too bad the sweater was $40, as we didn't get it. If it had been less than $20 we would have. 
3. The only time I . . . have ever had sex while watching TV was this past weekend with Scrubs reruns playing on the laptop in our dark bedroom. The light made a great effect in the room. We need to make this more than a one time thing.
4. My best . . . sexual memory is related to my worst memory. It features the contrast of feelings to my worst experience in the most loving, tender, and powerful sex I've ever experienced. The feelings of being so loved and accepted made me cry during sex and you can read about it here.
5. My worst . . . sexual experience was being told by my ex that I tasted horrible "down there" and he couldn't/wouldn't do it. It destroyed my confidence for years.
BONUS: Everyone, however much experienced, still has some unfulfilled desires. What is at the top of your yet-to-do list?  This one is so easy. I'd love to kiss a girl. 
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Geek girl gone wild

This weekend I may have really gone overboard on my geek meter.

I made a twitter account for my favorite MMO 'toon.


Here I am, tweeting for a fake character, strolling through Middle Earth, because I have so much fun playing her I felt like it would be fun.

On a side note, I'm struggling with insomnia and I wonder if this late twitter idea is a side-result. The FHF thinks its equally hilarious and bizarre of me to do this.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

TMI Tuesday: You Ought to be in Pictures

A bunch of celebrity sex tapes have been made public through fair means or foul. Have you seen any of these? Which ones?
  • Pamela Anderson and Bret Michaels
  • Paris Hilton and Rick Solomon
  • Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee
  • Kim Kardashian and Ray-J
  • Kendra Wilkinson and Justin Frye
I haven't seen any celebrity sex tape. I think I searched for the KimK/RayJ video once, but it was so obvious that a lot of the links led to sketchy sites that I wouldn't trust not to install spyware, adservers, and potential viruses, I gave up. I really don't care what "celebrity sex" looks like. It's not any more special or different than regular sex. I'm indifferent.
Today’s TMI Tuesday topic is sex photography and video.
1. Did you ever pose for pictures in sexual situations, or take pictures of a lover?
I certainly have. I once took some in college to tease my boyfriend. I had pictures taken while skinny-dipping in a waterfall with several friends (all girls, at night). Oh, and in college the same friends and I made a sexy video with a bike as a joke (pretty sure the guys who saw it all went to masturbate when it was over. And we didn't even touch each other). The first pictures I took for my FHF* were of my feet, followed shortly by several boob pics. And I've taken a ton of pictures of my FHF. He's too delicious not to photograph.

2. Did you keep these pictures private between yourselves, or did others see them?
Almost everything picture/video-wise has stayed private. Aside from what's on my blog or what I've loaded on twitter, there hasn't been any other public display or sharing. However, we are working on a couple of videos for so our sex is about to become more public, that's for sure!

3. Did any of them ever get out in public with embarrassing results?
No, nothing has ever been leaked or accidentally loaded to the public. We're very careful about what we do with pictures and who we share them with.

4. Were you ever videotaped having sex?
I have always wanted to do this and a few weeks ago we video-taped ourselves for the first time.

5. If so, was the tape ever made public?
Not yet... but it soon will be!

6. Were you ever photographed or taped without your knowledge?
Well, if it was without my knowledge, how would I know? I'm not aware of anything.

Bonus: Post a picture of a body part.
How about 2 body parts?

This picture made its debut as my new twitter pic, but I thought I'd share it in all its enlarged-goodness. Yes, he is wearing a condom, which is unusual for us. It's because I'm on antibiotics so we're taking extra precautions since it could cause my BC pill to fail.
A little double penetration

*FHF = Fucking Hot Fiancé

This week’s TMI Tuesday was written by

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Thursday, January 10, 2013


We all have limits. I haven't thought a lot about my hard limits. I've written a lot about what I will do... but what won't I do?

I read a great blog post about humiliation in the D/s relationship by Sir Stompsalot where he discusses looking at limits for humiliation in the relationship. This is what I love about reading blogs: You learn about others, but you learn a LOT about yourself.

For example, I have a hard limit when it comes to touching a toilet, a dumpster, the wall of a public alley. I am a germaphobe. But even if you scrub the toilet (or, in the case of a D/s scenario, make me scrub the toilet) and it's clean for me to use: I still don't want to touch it. It's a toilet. Having me put my head or hands on the toilet? Squick.

Any part of my flesh touching an alley wall? Squick.

I can't handle it. I will say no. I will freak out and cry and I will never ever be OK with you making me do that.

Other limits?

Clowns. They freak me out. I've had no bad experiences with them and no, I've never seen "It." But, I've had several nightmares that I still vividly remember where clowns were killing my friends and/or trying to kill me. It was horrifying and clowns+sex will never be a mix I can handle. The BF, I will note, is very sad about this as he thinks clowns are sexy....

Needles. Having my blood drawn nearly makes me faint. Having an IV is a constant mental torture. Needles and sex? No... no no...

Choking. This doesn't appeal to me in the least. It doesn't feel sexy, sweet, or loving. It doesn't turn me on. I only feel panic and pain.

Breath play. Do you want me to have a full blown panic attack? It won't take much. And then I won't be able to calm down and then we will have serious problems. Breath play is, perhaps, more terrifying than needles to me.

Anal fisting. I love vaginal fisting... but when I see a pic of a girl fisting her own asshole on tumblr, I'm turned off. It's not sexy at all to me. I also don't like the idea of being stretched soo wide. I like anal play - but the biggest thing I ever plan taking in my ass is my BF's cock.

Anal hooks. AGH I WANT TO FREAK OUT. All I can think of is the ball of the hook pressing my colon up and arching it in a way that it doesn't normally go. And I like my colon too much to do that.

Sex in a public bathroom. This goes back to my toilet remarks above, but do you know what people do in there? People I don't know? I don't know who cleaned it and how... No. I can't be naked. If my clothes touch the floor they don't touch the carpet in my house. 

Monday, January 7, 2013

The Cock Cage

Early in December, he asked me to marry him.  Later that month, I asked him to make his cock forever mine and gifted him a cock cage. Here are pics from the first 24 hours.
He was a little cold. Shrinkage!
Just hanging.
Naked. Getting hard.
Starting to get squeezed.
Poor swollen dick.

The cage is covering his hole.


Friday, January 4, 2013

The period problem

Periods. I remember being excited about getting my first one. It was that awesome right of passage from girl to woman. A new responsibility. My own secret to share with whom I wanted. Then it came, and suddenly it was a nightmare.

I'm sure a lot of women can share my young teenage grief of trying to hide pads (I didn't like tampons) from the boys in my class. The fear of looking at the seat every time you stood up, fearing you'd see blood. Then sometimes you saw blood and it was full on panic to see how bad the leak was. The terror of walking in front of people, afraid the stain would show when your legs moved.

Fear of being teased. Fear of being known. I was fortunate that, aside from leaks and spills, I was pain-free. I have very few cramps, nothing that even required an aspirin to handle it.

I waited for things to become regular. I knew that it would probably be "several years" according to what I read in books or online. So, since I started at 12, then maybe at 15? Nope. Sixteen? Nope. something was wrong so I consulted a gynocologist. All she said was that sometimes it takes girls longer to develop a normal cycle.

Then I went haywire. I had periods that lasted 2 weeks. Then 3 weeks later, another 2 week cycle. Then 8 months with nothing. Just that waiting, every day. One day I got my cycle so heavy, I had to change my "overnight" pad every hour. This went on for 2 days. I had no idea this wasn't "normal." And even a return visit to the OB/GYN the next year didn't ask for details to discover it was abnormal.

At 18 I was tired of not knowing the answers to why my body refused to get with the program, and I discovered there was a condition called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I went to a new doctor and had it confirmed with bloodwork. But that doctor made no recommendation on how to manage this multi-sympton syndrome except for: Here's birth control, it will make you have regular periods.

It worked! I was suddenly on a 28-day predictable cycle with manageable blood flow. Life was pretty good. Over the years my cycle has shrunk from 5 heavy days to 3 or 4 light and medium ones. In the past few years I've started experiencing cramps for the first time in my life (no, they aren't fun...). I found a doctor who encouraged me to lose weight so I could potentially reverse the symptoms and not require the fake hormones. My body could be fixed.

And then something weird happened a few months ago. My 4 days turned into 3. Three days turned into 2. Instead of starting on Thursday between 7a-9a like clockwork, they started 24 hours late. Forty-eight hours late. Three days? Was it coming at all?

Birth control tests were negative. Soon all I was doing was just spotting for a day, it wasn't even real. I didn't even need a pad anymore. It just wasn't there. I went to my doctor and she said, "Huh. That's odd." But nothing medically is wrong. I'm slightly anemic, but not in the area where my period should disappear completely.

And then last weekend, I missed the entire period. Not one drop of blood was to be found. Finally, when it was 4 days late, I took another pregnancy test. Nope. Negative.

The thing about being a woman is, a period is part of who you are. I feel like I'm missing some part of me that should be there. Yes it's been partially broken all this time, but I'm doing things where it should be there. And now I don't know why its missing. I don't know where it went. I'm not alarmed, but I'm aggravated.

Why does it have to be so fucking broken? I've put up with crap and all I want is this one part of being a woman, no matter how ugly or annoying or painful it is, just to be here. Yes they get in the way, they cost money, they cause us to act emotionally, but dammit that's part of being a woman. And somehow my body is denying me that part of me. Where did it go? When will it come back? I don't know.

It's a problem.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Red Region's Sexiest Blogs List

So, I am quite delighted and surprised to have made the blogroll list of "Sexiest Blogs of 2012" as rated by Reg Region Inferno! Unlike some other lists I've seen, Red Region complied this list himself of blogs that he has found. He did not ask for submissions, suggestions, or opinions. I'm quite honored!

The full list can be found here: and I highly recommend that you check it out along with the blogs on there. Many of these blogs are ones that I read (or try to read) regularly and the others, well, I have some reading to do!

One thing that took me aback is that: I can't recall ever visiting Red's blog prior to being notified I was placed on his list! That's a shame. I went through many of his prior entries and it's another blog I need to add to my reading list. What I really like is that he is an artist, and his work is regularly featured on the blog. You need to take a look at his artwork and I'll be surprised if it doesn't turn you on.

Thank you! And happy reading!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Uhhh, what happened?

Sometimes plans just don't work out. Like, having nearly 14 days off in the last half of December would mean I could fit in a lot of writing and actually get ahead on my blog. I could write up a year in review and think about my 2013 plans and resolutions and post the list as a goal for the New Year.

Well, things didn't quite turn out that way. First, it was a seriously time crunch on my end for Christmas shopping where I was spending many evenings shopping when I thought I would have this all wrapped up (literally). Then work spilled over into my holidays as I ended up having to work and manage social media for my real-life job since the newest employee wasn't set-up or ready to handle it yet. And then, I got a little carried away with cooking and baking and lost huge chunks of time to my kitchen.

And then things just went south. On Christmas Eve, my dishwasher broke. It broke right as I was preparing a full turkey dinner and finishing my baking -- so there was an entire day of just managing dishes & the kitchen. (And on the brighter side, I've no money to replace it, so it looks like we'll be living without for quite a while.)

The day after Christmas, I got sick. Really sick. In fact, a week later, I'm still sick. I was told it's the flu, but since I'm not improving I think another visit to the doctor may be in order. I spent my last 7 days off, including the only 3 my fiance also had off of work, being so sick I couldn't even contemplate getting naked (due to chills) or having sex (complete lack of energy or interest).

I'm mad as hell over this. My plans were going to be:
  • Spending a lot of time writing while my fiance was at work.
  • Playing housewife while he worked (something I rarely get to do anymore and I do love to indulge my domestic side).
  • Paint the entryway of our home
  • Relax.
All very doable, had I not succumbed to this coughing, congested mess that has kept me in blankets and napping constantly.

I've no year-end summary, although I'd still like to write one.

I haven't even fully thought-out my resolutions, but I still plan to.

I will get to these, somehow, once I am recovered enough to really sit and think clearly.

I'm supposed to return to work tomorrow, but I have no idea when I'll actually return to work. Tomorrow is the kick-off of huge work project due in February, so I know I'll be doing a hybrid sick day/work from home day to at least stay current and contribute as I can. I'm so glad I have a job that can flex like this; I only wish it wasn't coming at the very start of the year where I should be well rested for the pile of work that will be waiting for my inevitable return to the office.

In short, I've not abandoned my blog. Really. I'm still fairly active in twitter (I try to keep my complaints about being sick to a minimum, really I do). It's just for the very, very near future, I can't write or even scribble together anything worth reading.

Happy freaking new year.