Thursday, January 10, 2013


We all have limits. I haven't thought a lot about my hard limits. I've written a lot about what I will do... but what won't I do?

I read a great blog post about humiliation in the D/s relationship by Sir Stompsalot where he discusses looking at limits for humiliation in the relationship. This is what I love about reading blogs: You learn about others, but you learn a LOT about yourself.

For example, I have a hard limit when it comes to touching a toilet, a dumpster, the wall of a public alley. I am a germaphobe. But even if you scrub the toilet (or, in the case of a D/s scenario, make me scrub the toilet) and it's clean for me to use: I still don't want to touch it. It's a toilet. Having me put my head or hands on the toilet? Squick.

Any part of my flesh touching an alley wall? Squick.

I can't handle it. I will say no. I will freak out and cry and I will never ever be OK with you making me do that.

Other limits?

Clowns. They freak me out. I've had no bad experiences with them and no, I've never seen "It." But, I've had several nightmares that I still vividly remember where clowns were killing my friends and/or trying to kill me. It was horrifying and clowns+sex will never be a mix I can handle. The BF, I will note, is very sad about this as he thinks clowns are sexy....

Needles. Having my blood drawn nearly makes me faint. Having an IV is a constant mental torture. Needles and sex? No... no no...

Choking. This doesn't appeal to me in the least. It doesn't feel sexy, sweet, or loving. It doesn't turn me on. I only feel panic and pain.

Breath play. Do you want me to have a full blown panic attack? It won't take much. And then I won't be able to calm down and then we will have serious problems. Breath play is, perhaps, more terrifying than needles to me.

Anal fisting. I love vaginal fisting... but when I see a pic of a girl fisting her own asshole on tumblr, I'm turned off. It's not sexy at all to me. I also don't like the idea of being stretched soo wide. I like anal play - but the biggest thing I ever plan taking in my ass is my BF's cock.

Anal hooks. AGH I WANT TO FREAK OUT. All I can think of is the ball of the hook pressing my colon up and arching it in a way that it doesn't normally go. And I like my colon too much to do that.

Sex in a public bathroom. This goes back to my toilet remarks above, but do you know what people do in there? People I don't know? I don't know who cleaned it and how... No. I can't be naked. If my clothes touch the floor they don't touch the carpet in my house. 


  1. I always love to read about limits - everyones are so different, and the reasons behind them are always intriguing! I assumed needle play would be out for you based on some of your tweets, but the clown aspect is a bit of a surprise!

  2. I love reading blogs for the same reasons as well. And it's started some interesting conversation between my lover and myself.

  3. I once knew a girl who was vehemently against needles. "No way, no how. Red! Hard limit!" Years passed, and she started to evolve. More recently, she had a sharps scene at a play party.

    Its a great thing to know and understand your limits. But don't be afraid to challenge them either. The girl I referred to is now a die-hard needles fan.

    Know what you're comfortable with, and what you will never do. Its far better than "I'm not sure if I have any limits".