Friday, May 25, 2012

Sometimes, real life interrupts

It shouldn't surprise you to know that life does interrupt our sex life at times. We may make plans and they may go completely awry. Not everything is amazing, incredible, gorgeous, hot sex.

By now, we've had a variety of these experiences. Sometimes we plan to have sex, and then we're too tired. Or he's going to eat me out, but my period starts a day early. Sometimes we try a new position, and we don't like it. Or he fucks me too hard during the afternoon that I don't want anything in my vagina that night. Sometimes we plan to peg, and he doesn't want to when the time comes. Occasionally, we get distracted by another activity and just go with the flow. My hands feel that good on your cock? Well look who's getting a hand job tonight!

Wednesday night, we were planning on pegging him. We took a shower and I plugged him up. We went to the couch and watched TV and then got ready for bed. I got out a new dildo we hadn't used yet - I planned to hand fuck him then use the hitachi on the base while it was in him.

I slid the dildo in. It's our first one that had little ridges on it. He didn't like it; it wasn't all the way in until he told me to take it out. It was uncomfortable. I removed it and set it aside. I reached for another dildo, the Siren we normally use, but he said no. He went to the bathroom to clean up.

When he returned, I was sitting there, unsure what to do. He returned the same look. So... normal sex? We both agreed, yes.

We kissed and started playing with ourselves. I was still wet from my earlier hitachi use... I played with the wet, making sloshing noises as loudly as I could, at his request. I played with my vagina entrance to get the loudest sound. He bit his lip in excitement, watching me. He kissed up my body from knee to lips while I did this, jacking off his dick. It made me giggly, and turned me on.

After a final kiss, he moved to position himself between my legs. I opened wide for him.... then realized I had a pillow under my shoulders. I prefer to fuck flat on my back. I reached behind me to pull it out and throw it to the side - and the movement made me fart. On him.

Horror! We exchanged a very brief look, his face amused, mine shocked. "Did you just fart?"

Oh gosh. I hid my face under the pillow. He was laughing, I was laughing. My whole body was shaking as I buried my head in shame. I nodded yes, not that he needed confirmation. He wanted me to come out from under the pillow. I shook my head no.

We burst into more laughter. I could not help but recognize the irony. Here I am, sex blogger who professes to be sex positive and I pride myself on realizing that stuff like this happens. This isn't the first time I've accidentally farted during sex, but it was the first time with him. And in some ways, I'm very much a girly-girl and I personally don't like farts at all. I recognize they're normal, but I prefer to think they don't happen. And that I don't let them happen ON him when we're about to have SEX.

He let me have a few moments to compose myself. When I didn't come out, he commented that he bet I was red as a beet... which resulted in another round of laughter for us. I said I didn't want to come out, I was too embarrassed. He didn't push me or rush me.

He sat back between my feet and started jacking off again. "Guess I'll have to take care of myself then," he said, trying to get me to come out from my hiding spot. I said that was fine with me.

But then I started listening to the sound... and I realized my feet were in close proximity to his body. I ran a right foot tentatively up his chest. I couldn't see anything, so I went by feel. I wandered up his body again, this time feeling for his face. I found his neck and ran up to his face. His lips found my toes, his free hand guided my foot around his mouth. He kissed my toes, the bottom of my feet.

I ran my foot back down his body and back up. I scrunched my toes around his nose. His tongue licked the arch of my foot, then he started flicking in between my toes. His tongue was strong, warm, and wet. It felt so good and turned me on. He moaned lightly as he kissed my feet. I scrunched my toes again and he sighed. He loves it when I grip his face.

He moaned and then said something completely unexpected: "This reminds me of how I got off the other day."

"What?" I could not remember doing anything with my feet this week.

"Yeah... I jacked off sniffing your shoes... oh I came so good."

"What!?!?!" Another revelation. He's never expressed interested in smelling my shoes. I knew it was interesting to some foot fetish guys, but he's never said or shown anything. And then I needed to know, "Which shoes?"

"The purple ones... your flats." Oh, so my favorite pair of shoes... my 2-year old purple suede Nine West shoes that I've worn at least 50% of the time the past two years.

"Show me?" I wanted to see it. He agreed. Out I came from under my pillow and off to find my shoes. I retrieved them and gave them both to him. He took one in his free hand, kept his dick in the other, and took a deep, long sniff into it. I watched, so curious and fascinated.

His eyes rolled back in pleasure. "Baby, your feet are so very sexy. I love how sexy your feet are." Another sniff and his body started to lean back away from me. I placed my feet near his balls, and scrunched his testicles with my toes. His body visibly tensed. Another sniff. His jacking off motion was slower now. He didn't need that much stimulation. A final sniff and he was cumming. Hard. My feet continued to scrunch at his balls. His body trembled as cum poured from his cock.

And then we went to bed, me cuddling to his chest in his arms. The night wasn't anything like we expected or planned. We recovered and took it to something beautiful. And that is real world sex.


  1. That's a true real world sex story. Glad he was honest with you about your shoes.

    1. We make it a point to be honest about everything, regardless of topic.

  2. The interruptions of which you speak are an inevitability. If you have a sex life, it will be trumped by your real life on occasion. Likely with frustrating regularity. We write about this on our blog frequently.

    I know you were hoping to peg, but there's a part of us that believes that any night that you can salvage with "normal sex" isn't a total loss.

    Farting - I'm pretty sure I've never begun a paragraph, whether on our blog or as a comment on someone else's, with the word "farting" - is a normal thing. Everyone does it. Yeah, it can really fuck up the mood, though I'll wager that it's a lot more damaging to the sexual atmosphere when it's your first or second time than when you've been dating for an extended period. But when you put your face in the sort of place people tend to put their faces during sex, it's something that is bound to happen.

    It's really awesome that despite your embarrassment he immediately did what he had to reassure you and get you to emerge from the pillow. That's a sign of a good significant other, as though you needed another sign. The point is, things like this DO happen. During sex. And they lead to embarrassment and shame and they really shouldn't.

    You nicely demonstrate the honesty that you both share in the context of your relationship. In a perfect world, every couple would be so honest, so open. A lack of open, non-judgmental communication, usually the result of fear, shame, etc., is a relationship killer. And we agree that rael world sex should include laughter. And not just a little bit - it should probably be a regular or semi-regular thing. Sex is fun, after all. It shouldn't feel like hard work or a criminal trial.

    Possibly my favorite line from this post? "I'm very much a girl-girl and I personally don't like farts at all." It's such a stereotype that guys enjoy their own farts. I've never really gotten that. I'm a man, and I've always thought farting was the kind of thing you did because you had to. Like, I've never bemoaned the fact that I can't fart on demand.


  3. And this makes a great relationship! Real sex, real bloopers, real laughter....and the way he reassured you, wowza! This makes me very happy :)

    1. Thanks girl :) It was completely fantastic how he reacted... and the laughter was so awesome to share.