Thursday, May 31, 2012

Revisiting my early masturbation days

Disclaimer: This post is an entry into the contest hosted by Master Jean-Luc Gothos at his blog. The focus of the contest is to write a short story or encounter about the past that includes masturbation. Anyone can enter this contest, and the prize is a sweet $55 gift card! You have until June 8th to submit your entry either as a comment on his blog post or as a feature on your own blog with his permission to publish on his.

At a young age I used to have fun wiggling my clitoris while I peed. Because its movement changed the direction of my pee, I assumed it was a little "pee sack" where my pee came out of - just like a man had a dick,  I had this little "bubble." I didn't consider it pleasurable, it was more fun to watch on the toilet than anything.

I was 12 when I discovered my clitoris was for pleasure. We were on vacation at Niagara Falls and I was taking a bath after a long day of walking and sightseeing. I sat in the tub and my hands wandered down to my pussy. I was on my period, but I didn't see any blood in the water. Somehow my finger found my clit and I moved it.

I froze. It felt.... GOOD. Unlike any other good I had realized down there. I tried again. More pleasure. This was new, different. I liked it.

I tried some more, and my breath quickened. My hand started to make splashes in the water. I tried to slow down, acutely aware of the noise I was making and just how thin the door to the exterior room was. I focused on what felt good. I didn't orgasm; I'm not even sure I knew what it was at that point. But my sexual awakening had begun.

I didn't attempt it again until I was home and in my own bedroom. It felt so, so good, but I knew I wasn't achieving the pleasure I'm sure could be there. I experimented and played some more. I still wasn't orgasming, but I really didn't need to. It felt so incredibly pleasant that I was getting a "release." I started to do this every time I showered - right before or after the shower. I would lay down on the floor or sit on the toilet and fiddle with my clit until I obtained that release.

So every day or every other day, for several years, this continued. I don't remember masturbating in bed even though I had my own room. The bathroom was always safe as the water could run and the fan would hide any noises I made.

In my mid-teens, I added vagina play to the mix. What's a fifteen year old to do? Be inventive. Alcohol hand sanitizer to the leg of a barbie, and voila - a dildo small enough for a virgin pussy! (Note: I am not recommending this...) Adding thrusting to my clit stimulation made it so much more amazing to my experience. Now my bedroom became my masturbation sanctuary. I would lie down, naked on my floor, and masturbate - every day.

Sometimes I would fuck myself so hard, I would bruise my cervix and have some spotting in my panties. All this hornyness also made me wet all the time... so wet that my mother noticed all my panties were slightly discolored - and she asked me if I was having trouble holding it for the bathroom! (I told her absolutely not, and I had no idea what prompted that question until I realized all my panties were discolored in the crotch from a constantly wet pussy. Oh well!)

Did my learning about my body end as I grew out of my teens and lost my virginity? Au contraire! This was just the beginning of a sexual journey that I expect to take a lifetime. 

All this masturbation in my early-mid teens taught me several things:
1. I like pleasure. I like to feel pleasure, I like to orgasm. It feels so good; I would not deny myself if I had to.
2. I know how to pleasure myself. I think every person should know how to pleasure themselves. You need to know your body so you will never be at a loss on how to please yourself. Using someone for the sole purpose of only your pleasure and not theirs is not fair to them, or yourself. Take care of you.
3. By the time I started allowing a partner to explore my body at age 18, I already knew what I liked and where. I didn't know it all, but I knew how to make myself cum and how to teach him to make me cum. It made voicing my wants so much easier. It also made it easier for my partner to ask what I liked or didn't like.
4. It helped me reserve some time each day for myself. My life has only grown busier, but I have learned that reserving time for self-pleasure is so important. A horny person who goes too long without orgasm can often become an irritable person. So, in essence, masturbation is good for the planet.
5. Masturbation is not wrong. I found out as a young adult that my mother believes masturbation is wrong. It means there is something wrong with you and/or it is a sin. This knowledge completely saddened me. It made me have serious doubts about the quality of my parents' sex life. (How can you have great sex without pleasuring yourself? What if you don't have equal sex drives; should one just suffer waiting for the other to be ready?) I also wondered that if masturbation is on your "no" list, then how many other things are? Masturbation, despite what the world used to believe, does not cause blindness, insanity, impotence, or sterility. It doesn't sap your life force and make you die young. What it does do is open your mind to your own pleasure... and hopefully, your partner's as well.

So, go forth ye world, and touch yourself!


  1. still remember that I wonder why it felt so good when I played with my cock. Nowadays, I wonder if my curved cock is due to my incessant masturbation since young...;)

  2. I remember having my first orgasm at age 12 under the covers at night and not knowing why I was "messy". Took me about a year of masturbating before first trying it in the daytime AND seeing what happened that made me messy. LOL...

  3. Thanks for sharing this! We enjoy reading about our friends' early sexual exploration. It's wonderful to see that we are all pretty much alike. Such a great post to wrap up Masturbation Month!