TMI Tuesday: The Long and Short of it

Thank you Erotic Adventures in Brisneyland for the following TMI Tuesday questions.

1. What is the longest relationship you have been in?
With my ex, we were together just over 9 years.

2. What is the shortest relationship you have been in?
Well, I'm only counting adult official relationships here, so my only other relationship has been with my BF for the last year and half or so.

3. How often do you have sex? How often do you want sex?
I'm going to interpret "sex" as any type of interpersonal sexual activity so it includes oral sex, hand jobs, etc. That we have about six days a week. The seventh is not for rest but the random "I'm too tired to care about sex" we both experience. If one of us is in the too tired stage, the other always participates by lending cuddles, gropes, and dirty words. Wanting sex? I want sex almost every day at least once. Sometimes I want it four or five times a day.  He normally wants it upon waking up and right before bed. I like to push things to happen in between.

4. How long does sex usually last?
I've never officially timed us. I would say between 10 and 20 minutes depending on what we're doing. This is just for penetrative sex from first kisses to final cuddles. 

5. Have you ever had an experience where someone couldn’t perform, finished too quickly or couldn’t keep up with you? Tell us about it?
With both partners I've experienced those awkward moments when they "couldn't get it up."  I didn't freak out or take it personally and asked him for help... when he couldn't get it up, we just called it a night and tried again the next day.

6. If you could only have one “type” of sexual encounter for the rest of your life, would you prefer
a) short and sweet
b) wham bam thank you ma’am
c) here for the long haul
d) slow and tender

I would say short and sweet. I'm a busy woman - I don't need a long, hour-long love-making session. Let's make it sweet and lovely but just long enough where we're both satisfied.

Bonus: Would you consider ending an otherwise healthy and loving relationship if the sex wasn’t what you wanted?
I think it depends on the nature of that relationship. How disappointing is it? I've had my share of disappointment.I would bring up polyamory as an option. If this hypothetical relationship were open to it, I think I could be quite happy in having my sexual and emotional needs met. Of course, that's all nice talk until it happens in the relationship.

Wet happy tears

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The subconscious love

He loves me, subconsciously. 

When we first started sleeping together, he woke me up every night, sometimes multiple times, with his sleep talking. Mumbled words, incoherent phrases, it didn't matter. They were loud enough to startle me awake, and as soon as I realized he was still sleeping, it was over.

It made me tired. Most of the time I couldn't understand what he was saying. Or, if I did, it didn't make sense. He would say something like, "The brick isn't a cow" and I'd be left bewildered, trying to figure out that it meant. In the morning, he never remembered what he said or dreamt.

It was so funny... I've never experienced anything like this. Being woken up every night wasn't fun, especially when it would take me about fifteen minutes to fall back asleep. Then I had another idea.

How long had I know this man? Well, online for a year... in person, just a few weeks. I had to do "the test."  So the next night...

"(mumbled words)" he says and wakes me again.

"Do you love me?"

He smiles in his sleep. "Of course I love you."

"Are you sure?"

He sighs. "Yes, I love you. Just deal with it."

I repeated the test another night a week later, with similar answers. The smile on my face the next day at work was infectious.

And then came other signs:

• If I roll over to hold him at night, he automatically grabs my hand and holds it to his chest with a grip I'd have to make an effort to escape.
• If I move his arm to lay on his chest, he repositions his whole body to hold me and wraps his arms around me.
• If I kiss him goodbye when I leave for work, he tells me "I love you beautiful" in his sleep.
• If I cuddle into him, he pushes his body back into me to be close

All of these not-so-subtle and subconscious actions reflect what he's been telling me for a year and a half: he loves me. They say actions speak louder than words... they do. But subconscious actions? It's like screaming love from a mountain top.