Note: This letter, while in response to a post an anonymous post at Molly's Daily Kiss called I am Ugly, is something I think any woman may need to read at some point. This is to all of us, when we feel 'ugly.'
Dear Ugly,
You are not alone. You may feel alone, but that does not mean that you are alone in your experience. Despite the wide reaches of the internet, its still possible to feel very lonely. Please hear me out as a sister of your suffering.
You and I are very similar.
I am also overweight. You are nearly 50 lbs overweight, I am over 90 lbs according to the published BMI ranges for my height. It's not a fun place to be. Some days its hard to look in the mirror. Your fat jeans become your normal jeans. And then your new fat jeans are the next size up and you can't believe you've jumped another size. Getting back to where you were seems like a hard, dangerous road. It's long, lonely, and difficult.
I also have too much hair on my body. I have PCOS, which means I have way more testosterone in my body than a woman should. I pluck every day to keep my chin hair, neck hair, mustache hair, and eyebrow hairs in check. I don't do a good job at it. I hate it when my lover notices if I missed a hair. Sometimes my facial hair grows really long, just one long strand on my face that is invisible until my lover tries to brush it away only to realize its connected. I have a happy trail I have to shave away. I have so much pubic hair I have to shave or wax or I get rashes from all the hair and the sweat it retains from the day. If I don't shave my legs every day, you can see it. I have more underarm hair than my male lover. I have to pluck hair from my nipples. I have hair on my toes, so much so that both lovers in my life have called me "hobbit." I struggle every day with my hair.
I have ugly stretch marks all over my thighs and stomach from two periods of depression in my life where I gained weight so fast. Now they won't go away. If a swimsuit is humiliating, then a swimsuit with long stretch marks down your thighs is even more so, because I'd have to wear men's shorts to hide them. So I stopped swimming.
Like you, I had a lover who found my body useful for sex but found parts of it unattractive. He didn't want whole parts of me. The sex was awful and I dreaded it. He gave me compliments, but the words were flat, empty, and meaningless. They were tokens of something that wasn't there. I tried to call him on it, but it just caused problems.
So, Ugly, we are not that different. In some ways, we live and have lived the same life. But that is where the similarities end.
Unlike you, I do not think I am ugly. In fact, I've found that I'm a beautiful person. I'm more round that I'd like to be, but I have beautiful breasts (saggy though they may be as DDs) and a big ass (cellulite, hairy ass crack, and all). I may have lots of hair, but its a nice brown color where I don't remove it. My body is high maintenance. My skin is always dry and my scalp is flaky no matter what products I use. I just make the best of it.
But I like my body. I try to take care of it. Even though I'm overweight I won't give up trying to lose that weight, even if PCOS makes it harder for me.
I found confidence by looking in the mirror and making myself say one positive thing about myself ten times each day. Even now I look in the mirror and remind myself how pretty my eyes are. I joined twitter and blogging and saw that there were women whose bodies were similar to mine that many (not everyone) though was beautiful.
That's the beauty of this world. There are so many types of bodies with all sorts of features; everyone has an admirer. If you don't believe me, go browse porn or tumblr. The variety is greater than I ever imagined.
But here's the biggest difference between us: how you treat yourself and see yourself tells others how to treat you. It is not your fault that you lover and partner is a complete asshole when it comes to showing affection towards you. It is, however, your fault for letting it continue as long as it has.
Relationships have ups and downs and attraction and frequency of sex may change through the years, but there is never an excuse for a partner to not comfort you, not look after your emotional well being, and to make sure you are pursued and loved.
That is betrayal. You think that another could never find you attractive. You're doomed to a life alone and unwanted. Who doomed you to such a fate? There is no wicked witch in this lifetime. Only you could choose that future -- so why are you so resigned to take it? There is another option.
You can find a new future. It can be whatever you want. I broke off a 6 year marriage and 9 year relationship with my former lover. He was my first kiss, my first everything. He broke my heart. I was right there in your shoes, willing to live and die because I promised I would always stay. But what about his promise? Didn't he promise to love and cherish also? Isn't that promise just as broken when my heart is in pieces? Did I promise to stay with in unhappy, unfulfilled life no matter what? No.
You don't have to stay in this. You have a say in whatever happens to you. You can be resigned to your life of not being appreciated for who you are, but I promise you there is someone out there who would love you and appreciate you more for who you are. They would love every part of your body, flabby, fat, hairy, or not.
I certainly found one. And he loves every single hairy, flabby, stretched mark part of me. He loves those parts of me so much I've cried during sex from the powerful emotions.
And to think I almost never knew because I was almost too scared to think I deserved better.
You deserve better, too. You deserve more credit from yourself but just as importantly, you deserve better from your lover. I hope you find that confidence and that partner, whether its from your current husband or someone new.
All my support and cheerleading,
The other you
Showing posts with label intimacy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label intimacy. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Monday, November 12, 2012
Early Morning Booty Call (literally)
Loud, obnoxious jazz music jolted me awake. Actually I was already awake, but the music made me go from very sleepy to wide awake. I had known it was early and now that my boyfriend's 5am alarm was going off, I knew just how early it was -- on a Saturday.
He snoozed the alarm and rolled over to cuddle me. His body was so hot to the touch. How could he sleep under the quilt and be comfortable? I threw off my covers and then cuddled into his big spoon. His arm wrapped around me and settled just under a breast. He moaned contentedly and kissed my shoulder, nuzzling me with his nose and lips.
My brain was so awake from that sudden music, but my body was still asleep and relaxed. Heat from his body warmed me. I noticed that he had no boner, unlike the ones I normally feel when he spoons me first thing in the morning. The alarm must have thrown his body off.We laid there together, little sighs and swallowed moans of early morning happiness as our communication back and forth.
Then the music went off again. He flipped over to turn it off, and I complained of the noise - it was louder this time. He turned it off and continued to just lay in bed. I turned over, laid my head on his chest, and asked if he was going to get up now. He laughed at my contradiction - asking if he were about it get up, but laying on his chest as if to hold him there. Guilty as charged.
He said he would jack off first and then get up. I snuggled in to him, wrapping a hand around his inner thigh and laying my head so he could tuck it under his chin as we normally do when I'm not participating or expecting an orgasm in return. This time I planned on just resting and enjoying it while he did all the work. It was too early for me to do anything else.
Not a minute later, he whispered to me, "I wish I could lick your booty hole." I perked my head up.
"Oh you do?"
"Yes," he breathed. "I wanna lick it."
"It's clean, you can if you want to." I had showered before going to bed. I pulled myself away from his body and crawled up, kneeling 'face down, ass up' on my own pillow so he could find my ass in the dark.
He got up, and knelt behind me. Still jerking off, his fingers of his left hand glided across my skin as he felt his way in the dark. Such a light touch despite his obvious lust. Finger were replaced by lips as he landed soft kisses that swept from one side of my ass to the other, avoiding the cleft in the middle.
I wondered if being in pitch black was making him act slower, or if he was just trying to find his way. Then a finger slide in my crack and expertly located my anus. He wasn't "lost" in the dark, he was just taking his time and slowly approaching the inevitable.
The finger circled around my hole before lightly pressing on it. My body tense, and then a tongue was suddenly replacing the finger and my body jolted in surprise and excitement. Oh, I love it when he rims me. The first lick was small and light, like a test run. He felt my body respond and heard the moan escape my lips. I was his.
He pressed his face into my ass crack and tongue swept across my booty hole. He made circles and sweeping movements. His mouth explored me expertly. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the pleasure.
Normally I hear the sounds of his hand on his penis and his soft moans. We always have lights on during sex so we can see one another. But in the dark, facing away from him, with a fan running in the room, all I could detect of him was the tongue licking my asshole. It was strange, being so cut off from him and yet so intimately connected. My moans were loud and I knew he would hear me. I had no idea until my first rim job that I could get off just from him licking my asshole.
Suddenly I felt his tongue probe me, entering my asshole. My hips rocked in pleasure and I felt my anus contract around the tip that was in me, moan turning into soft scream. He pulled out and repeated this, my hips bucking more and I felt the orgasm draw close.
He pushed more tongue into me and was pulling out when I came, aware of the spasms I was making around him. He could feel every contraction of my pleasure around his tongue. He licked me and probed me through my orgasm and continued with the same fervor once my moans diminished a bit. I was lost in post-orgasmic bliss, hugging my pillow beneath me, and I heard his final grunts of orgasm break through that invisible sound barrier between us.
He collapsed for a moment on the bed and accused me of being naughty for talking him into such a filthy act so early in the day. I giggled and teased him for being so easy to convince.
He snoozed the alarm and rolled over to cuddle me. His body was so hot to the touch. How could he sleep under the quilt and be comfortable? I threw off my covers and then cuddled into his big spoon. His arm wrapped around me and settled just under a breast. He moaned contentedly and kissed my shoulder, nuzzling me with his nose and lips.
My brain was so awake from that sudden music, but my body was still asleep and relaxed. Heat from his body warmed me. I noticed that he had no boner, unlike the ones I normally feel when he spoons me first thing in the morning. The alarm must have thrown his body off.We laid there together, little sighs and swallowed moans of early morning happiness as our communication back and forth.
Then the music went off again. He flipped over to turn it off, and I complained of the noise - it was louder this time. He turned it off and continued to just lay in bed. I turned over, laid my head on his chest, and asked if he was going to get up now. He laughed at my contradiction - asking if he were about it get up, but laying on his chest as if to hold him there. Guilty as charged.
He said he would jack off first and then get up. I snuggled in to him, wrapping a hand around his inner thigh and laying my head so he could tuck it under his chin as we normally do when I'm not participating or expecting an orgasm in return. This time I planned on just resting and enjoying it while he did all the work. It was too early for me to do anything else.
Not a minute later, he whispered to me, "I wish I could lick your booty hole." I perked my head up.
"Oh you do?"
"Yes," he breathed. "I wanna lick it."
"It's clean, you can if you want to." I had showered before going to bed. I pulled myself away from his body and crawled up, kneeling 'face down, ass up' on my own pillow so he could find my ass in the dark.
He got up, and knelt behind me. Still jerking off, his fingers of his left hand glided across my skin as he felt his way in the dark. Such a light touch despite his obvious lust. Finger were replaced by lips as he landed soft kisses that swept from one side of my ass to the other, avoiding the cleft in the middle.
I wondered if being in pitch black was making him act slower, or if he was just trying to find his way. Then a finger slide in my crack and expertly located my anus. He wasn't "lost" in the dark, he was just taking his time and slowly approaching the inevitable.
The finger circled around my hole before lightly pressing on it. My body tense, and then a tongue was suddenly replacing the finger and my body jolted in surprise and excitement. Oh, I love it when he rims me. The first lick was small and light, like a test run. He felt my body respond and heard the moan escape my lips. I was his.
He pressed his face into my ass crack and tongue swept across my booty hole. He made circles and sweeping movements. His mouth explored me expertly. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the pleasure.
Normally I hear the sounds of his hand on his penis and his soft moans. We always have lights on during sex so we can see one another. But in the dark, facing away from him, with a fan running in the room, all I could detect of him was the tongue licking my asshole. It was strange, being so cut off from him and yet so intimately connected. My moans were loud and I knew he would hear me. I had no idea until my first rim job that I could get off just from him licking my asshole.
Suddenly I felt his tongue probe me, entering my asshole. My hips rocked in pleasure and I felt my anus contract around the tip that was in me, moan turning into soft scream. He pulled out and repeated this, my hips bucking more and I felt the orgasm draw close.
He pushed more tongue into me and was pulling out when I came, aware of the spasms I was making around him. He could feel every contraction of my pleasure around his tongue. He licked me and probed me through my orgasm and continued with the same fervor once my moans diminished a bit. I was lost in post-orgasmic bliss, hugging my pillow beneath me, and I heard his final grunts of orgasm break through that invisible sound barrier between us.
He collapsed for a moment on the bed and accused me of being naughty for talking him into such a filthy act so early in the day. I giggled and teased him for being so easy to convince.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Reunion Pt 2
When his parents visited, we didn't have sex, mainly due to our awkward and public sleeping arrangements. In reality it was only 48 hours we didn't have sex, masturbate, or grope each other. It felt like a really long time in our own home.
On the first night, we gave each other hand-jobs. Intimate, intense, hand-jobs (read about it here).
On the second night, with parents now gone and the house our own, sex didn't wait until bedtime. Sex happened during some TV show we were watching on Netflix, probably a Mythbusters. We had been sitting on the couch as we normally do: Me on the one side, and he laying on my leg across the length of the couch. One of my legs was in his arms for him to touch, caress, feel up, and wander. His fingers ran the length of playing with toes to my pussy lips, teasing me.
I became a mess of soft moans and wiggling as he teased me, coyly asking why I couldn't sit still. After enough whimpering, he asked, "Do I have to fuck you now?" I grinned and he told me to pick my spot.
I'm not used to this decision. Normally he tells me how and where he wants it. Being told to make that choice was a little overwhelming... the couch? the ottoman? floor? No... I knew...
Into the eat-in kitchen, where I pulled out a dining room chair, turned it around, and bent over, holding the back of the chair. I stayed on the linoleum, aware of the huge potential for squirting in this position.
He came over and grabbed my ass. "Oh. Fuck. Look at this ass!" and he spread my ass cheeks for him to feel and inspect. His fingers explored me fully. "So, you want to be fucked like this? I WONDER why.... naughty girl." He slipped a finger between my legs and then up into my wet vagina. "Slut, you're already so wet for me! You just want it, don't you?"
I did. He made me spread my legs for him, and then pushed his cock into me. It felt rough and hurt as he didn't wait for my wetness to coat his dick. "Slow down.... your not wet yet.... it hurts a bit."
"Does it still hurt?" He isn't slowing down.
"Its getting better..." He's picking up the pace.
"Good. Then stop complaining and take it like I know you want it." I did.
He fucked rolling his hips up and into me, slowly, not rushing. The slow movements made it feel like his cock was larger than normal as it stretched my vagina for the first time in 3 days. I felt every inch of it slide in and out, forcing its way in me. I could feel him targeting my G-spot and encouraged him with my moans.
When I felt close, I begged him not to stop to keep going, I needed to squirt. I could feel it building in me... and there it was, pouring out of me, days of pent-up lust and tension poured over my legs and our feet. He pulled out to let it pour and watched it splash at our feet.
When I was done, he started to fuck me faster and harder. I gripped the chair and pushed back into him, begging for more. My legs started to ache as he held my shoulders for leverage and I struggled to keep the chair from moving and sliding on the wet linoleum floor.
"On the carpet on your back. I'm not done with you."
I moved quickly to the living room a few feet away, laid down on the floor and spread my legs for him. He knelt down and slid his dick into me, facing me now. He leaned back and stayed shallow, leaving me to beg again for what I wanted. Deeper. Faster. MORE dick.
He just grinned and shook his head. It was on his time. I moved my hips, fucking him as much as I could. He watched my body move under him. He reached across and starting rolling my clit with his thumb, making me pant and moan for even more. I needed to come again, but he pulled out and wouldn't let me have his dick again. I tried to move closer, but he wouldn't give me what I wanted. He watched my body arch and my hips move, trying to get closer to him.
Before I could orgasm from my clit, he pushed suddenly deep into me, resting on his arms above me. He stared down at me, at the look of pure disappointment of not having my orgasm I was sure coming, and the delight of having his dick fully in me again. I had what I wanted, kind of.
My hands moved to my breasts and I started pulling on my nipples and squeezing my breasts. I normally touch my breasts during masturbation, but rarely during sex. That night, I couldn't resist. I needed as much touch as I could get on my body. I massaged my breasts and tugged lightly on my nipples. I saw his expression change from enjoyment of my confusion, to complete distraction.
He couldn't take his eyes off me. He's never seen me play with my breasts so aggressively I watched his eyes transfixed, betraying his arousal at the sight. He was barely fucking me, my breasts and hands were the source of his pleasure. I arched my back and bucked my hips into him to keep my his dick moving in me.
His eyes and face showed me his orgasm was imminent. Seeing him so turned on by me heightened my own pleasure. In that moment all of our desire and being horny culminated in a shared moment of mutual passion and enjoyment - of each other. I turned him on which turned me on... and on through an orgasm that came from deep within my body, causing my legs to pull him to me to orgasm around his dick. He came in loud grunts and moans, barely able to watch my body as he was.
It was a great reunion. Should we have visitors more often?
On the first night, we gave each other hand-jobs. Intimate, intense, hand-jobs (read about it here).
On the second night, with parents now gone and the house our own, sex didn't wait until bedtime. Sex happened during some TV show we were watching on Netflix, probably a Mythbusters. We had been sitting on the couch as we normally do: Me on the one side, and he laying on my leg across the length of the couch. One of my legs was in his arms for him to touch, caress, feel up, and wander. His fingers ran the length of playing with toes to my pussy lips, teasing me.
I became a mess of soft moans and wiggling as he teased me, coyly asking why I couldn't sit still. After enough whimpering, he asked, "Do I have to fuck you now?" I grinned and he told me to pick my spot.
I'm not used to this decision. Normally he tells me how and where he wants it. Being told to make that choice was a little overwhelming... the couch? the ottoman? floor? No... I knew...
Into the eat-in kitchen, where I pulled out a dining room chair, turned it around, and bent over, holding the back of the chair. I stayed on the linoleum, aware of the huge potential for squirting in this position.
He came over and grabbed my ass. "Oh. Fuck. Look at this ass!" and he spread my ass cheeks for him to feel and inspect. His fingers explored me fully. "So, you want to be fucked like this? I WONDER why.... naughty girl." He slipped a finger between my legs and then up into my wet vagina. "Slut, you're already so wet for me! You just want it, don't you?"
I did. He made me spread my legs for him, and then pushed his cock into me. It felt rough and hurt as he didn't wait for my wetness to coat his dick. "Slow down.... your not wet yet.... it hurts a bit."
"Does it still hurt?" He isn't slowing down.
"Its getting better..." He's picking up the pace.
"Good. Then stop complaining and take it like I know you want it." I did.
He fucked rolling his hips up and into me, slowly, not rushing. The slow movements made it feel like his cock was larger than normal as it stretched my vagina for the first time in 3 days. I felt every inch of it slide in and out, forcing its way in me. I could feel him targeting my G-spot and encouraged him with my moans.
When I felt close, I begged him not to stop to keep going, I needed to squirt. I could feel it building in me... and there it was, pouring out of me, days of pent-up lust and tension poured over my legs and our feet. He pulled out to let it pour and watched it splash at our feet.
When I was done, he started to fuck me faster and harder. I gripped the chair and pushed back into him, begging for more. My legs started to ache as he held my shoulders for leverage and I struggled to keep the chair from moving and sliding on the wet linoleum floor.
"On the carpet on your back. I'm not done with you."
I moved quickly to the living room a few feet away, laid down on the floor and spread my legs for him. He knelt down and slid his dick into me, facing me now. He leaned back and stayed shallow, leaving me to beg again for what I wanted. Deeper. Faster. MORE dick.
He just grinned and shook his head. It was on his time. I moved my hips, fucking him as much as I could. He watched my body move under him. He reached across and starting rolling my clit with his thumb, making me pant and moan for even more. I needed to come again, but he pulled out and wouldn't let me have his dick again. I tried to move closer, but he wouldn't give me what I wanted. He watched my body arch and my hips move, trying to get closer to him.
Before I could orgasm from my clit, he pushed suddenly deep into me, resting on his arms above me. He stared down at me, at the look of pure disappointment of not having my orgasm I was sure coming, and the delight of having his dick fully in me again. I had what I wanted, kind of.
My hands moved to my breasts and I started pulling on my nipples and squeezing my breasts. I normally touch my breasts during masturbation, but rarely during sex. That night, I couldn't resist. I needed as much touch as I could get on my body. I massaged my breasts and tugged lightly on my nipples. I saw his expression change from enjoyment of my confusion, to complete distraction.
He couldn't take his eyes off me. He's never seen me play with my breasts so aggressively I watched his eyes transfixed, betraying his arousal at the sight. He was barely fucking me, my breasts and hands were the source of his pleasure. I arched my back and bucked my hips into him to keep my his dick moving in me.
His eyes and face showed me his orgasm was imminent. Seeing him so turned on by me heightened my own pleasure. In that moment all of our desire and being horny culminated in a shared moment of mutual passion and enjoyment - of each other. I turned him on which turned me on... and on through an orgasm that came from deep within my body, causing my legs to pull him to me to orgasm around his dick. He came in loud grunts and moans, barely able to watch my body as he was.
It was a great reunion. Should we have visitors more often?
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Quickie update
In bullet points, because that's about all I have the energy for right now:
Update from me:
Update from me:
- His parents are coming to visit and stay with us this coming weekend. First time they've made the trip to see us. I like them. They've been very welcoming and automatically accepted me when we first started dating. They are also pressure-free when it comes to marriage and potential offspring. But, as a perfectionist and entertainer at heart, I'm already starting to stress.
- I'm considering adding a wishlist and a "Tip me" place to my blog. I figure it couldn't hurt and the most I have to gain is something really cool and/or sexy.
- Winter is coming and I'm feeling the "no winter shaving" coming on. I'm not a fan of shaving my legs in general, but in the winter its especially annoying. My boyfriend doesn't care, thank goodness, but I'm not sure how this would look in my foot fetish posts.
- I need to start working out. It's time to kick this body into super-sexy shape!
- Blog writing: I have 5 posts in draft right now. Some should be done within the next week or two, but I think one or two may take a while still. Formulating my thoughts on a couple of subject has my wheels spinning.
- I STILL have not given the boyfriend his pop-rocks BJ as I promised him nearly 2 weeks ago I would. I've not been feeling in the BJ mood and now he's starting to ask when its going to happen.... can't say I blame his impatience, but sometimes you just don't want to do certain sexual things and for whatever reason I'm not feeling very.... orally horny right now.
- This afternoon we had such an intimate quickie. Oh it was passionate and wonderful. He kissed me and made out with me before making me come from his fingers and then he fucked me slowly, ending with just a medium pace while he sat up, gripping my boobs in a vice grip arms straight out in front of him, staring down at me, eyes locked. I could see his arms and shoulder muscles tensed with the motion of thrusting in me. He collapsed on my breasts moaning softly right as he came. It was beautiful, tender, and yet so full of masculine energy that I was overwhelmed with how .... HOT and BEAUTIFUL this man and his love and attraction for me is. It blew me away.
- Later this week: Pick my next pedicure color! I'm going to put it to a vote...
- Blog reading: I have a very hard time keeping up on blogs that are not on blogger and have the Google Friend connect. That's the easiest way for me to keep up because I see all the latest entries when I check my own blog. How do I keep up with all the misc Wordpress/self-hosted blogs out there? I don't want an email from each blog and I also don't want to have to visit each blog to see if there's an update. I feel so blog-ignorant asking this question. Help!
- Halloween. I'm not a big fan of Halloween. I think the last time I dressed up I was... 8, so 20 years ago. My boyfriend is dying to dress up -- I have no idea what to do for a costume. I'd like to do something work appropriate as they always dress up there, as well. Any ideas for something that a little sexy yet work appropriate?
Sunday, April 22, 2012
And then a sweet ending of the night
Note: This is part 3 of a 3 part series of one night of sex together. Read parts one and two to find out the start of the story.
He moved between my legs, and slid his cock into me. It was rock hard, harder than it had been during the BJ I'd given him earlier. My pussy is very warm with my cum, and his face reflects the pleasure of my pussy surrounding him. He feels huge in me, bigger than normal. I ask why, and all he does is kiss my lips. We look into each other's eyes and share the look. Its intense, and my emotions are still running high.
He fucks me slowly, his hands cradling my head as he often does. He calls me his beautiful. His hands wander down to my ass and thighs and he calls me beautiful. All I can do is smile, and hold myself to him. I feel years of pain healing in me. Balm of love spread over my pain. I kiss his neck and shoulder and then he kisses mine. He traces light soft kisses on my nipples and over my breasts. I run my fingers through his hair, watching him trace his love on me.
But his penis is filling me up, almost too much. I was a little sore from the very hard fuck he gave me that morning and the other one right when I was home from work. My pussy was sore and his rock hard dick was hurting and pleasing me at the same time. I lifted my legs back to let him in me more, holding my ankles in the air for him. He grinned as he saw my feet up in the air above his shoulders.
It was slow and sweet and all it took was some fast thrusting for me to cum again on him. He held onto my hips as I came shuddering.
He surprised me, and pulled out, climbing down and eating my pussy once again. Fingers in me, fingers on my clit, tongue on my clit, tongue wandering around me. I was calling his name and telling him I loved him over and over. I jerked his dick while I could think about it as he ate me out... he smelled me more and more. Then I would realize I had stopped for however long from the pleasure he was giving me. I came very hard again and he ended with a strong suck on my clit.
I laid still, my moans still coming for a few minutes after he finished me. I felt good everywhere.
I turned to look at him. He was laying on his back, hard straight dick waiting for me. He wanted to be jacked off, would I please do it? Of course... I wanted to do nothing more.
I grabbed the bottle of lube and laid my head on his chest, kissing him as I jacked him off. His dick was so hard and big I kept losing my grip - my fingers wouldn't fit all the way around the base like they normally do! I jacked him off then sat up and began working him with two hands. I massaged pumped his dick. I put pressure on his head as I massaged it, never removing my hand while the other jacked off the base. Then I used both hands to twist on his dick in opposite directions.
It was so hard my fingers started to hurt from squeezing him, but he wanted nothing more than a tight grip tonight. His eyes were shut so tight and his whole body was tensed. His pecs were defined, his arms tense. I looked at his legs and his calf muscles were evident from flexed legs. His pelvis was so far up he was hardly touching the bed with his butt.
And I jacked him off, told him I loved him, I loved his dick. I loved how hard it got for me. He was barely making any noise. His breathing cut in and out he got closer to orgasm, and then I would pull away, prolonging his pleasure, making it last. I played and played with him and his body stayed tense.
I jacked him off by moving my hands in half circles in opposite directions while slightly moving up and down his long cock. Squeezed him hard and moved fast, jacking off his dick as hard as I could.
He came with a long, low, almost-growl. His pelvis shifted up and he did a half sit-up to watch his dick in orgasm. More cum than I expected spilled from his cock and drizzled down my fingers.
I washed the lube from my hands, and he held me as we drifted to sleep.
He moved between my legs, and slid his cock into me. It was rock hard, harder than it had been during the BJ I'd given him earlier. My pussy is very warm with my cum, and his face reflects the pleasure of my pussy surrounding him. He feels huge in me, bigger than normal. I ask why, and all he does is kiss my lips. We look into each other's eyes and share the look. Its intense, and my emotions are still running high.
He fucks me slowly, his hands cradling my head as he often does. He calls me his beautiful. His hands wander down to my ass and thighs and he calls me beautiful. All I can do is smile, and hold myself to him. I feel years of pain healing in me. Balm of love spread over my pain. I kiss his neck and shoulder and then he kisses mine. He traces light soft kisses on my nipples and over my breasts. I run my fingers through his hair, watching him trace his love on me.
But his penis is filling me up, almost too much. I was a little sore from the very hard fuck he gave me that morning and the other one right when I was home from work. My pussy was sore and his rock hard dick was hurting and pleasing me at the same time. I lifted my legs back to let him in me more, holding my ankles in the air for him. He grinned as he saw my feet up in the air above his shoulders.
It was slow and sweet and all it took was some fast thrusting for me to cum again on him. He held onto my hips as I came shuddering.
He surprised me, and pulled out, climbing down and eating my pussy once again. Fingers in me, fingers on my clit, tongue on my clit, tongue wandering around me. I was calling his name and telling him I loved him over and over. I jerked his dick while I could think about it as he ate me out... he smelled me more and more. Then I would realize I had stopped for however long from the pleasure he was giving me. I came very hard again and he ended with a strong suck on my clit.
I laid still, my moans still coming for a few minutes after he finished me. I felt good everywhere.
I turned to look at him. He was laying on his back, hard straight dick waiting for me. He wanted to be jacked off, would I please do it? Of course... I wanted to do nothing more.
I grabbed the bottle of lube and laid my head on his chest, kissing him as I jacked him off. His dick was so hard and big I kept losing my grip - my fingers wouldn't fit all the way around the base like they normally do! I jacked him off then sat up and began working him with two hands. I massaged pumped his dick. I put pressure on his head as I massaged it, never removing my hand while the other jacked off the base. Then I used both hands to twist on his dick in opposite directions.
It was so hard my fingers started to hurt from squeezing him, but he wanted nothing more than a tight grip tonight. His eyes were shut so tight and his whole body was tensed. His pecs were defined, his arms tense. I looked at his legs and his calf muscles were evident from flexed legs. His pelvis was so far up he was hardly touching the bed with his butt.
And I jacked him off, told him I loved him, I loved his dick. I loved how hard it got for me. He was barely making any noise. His breathing cut in and out he got closer to orgasm, and then I would pull away, prolonging his pleasure, making it last. I played and played with him and his body stayed tense.
I jacked him off by moving my hands in half circles in opposite directions while slightly moving up and down his long cock. Squeezed him hard and moved fast, jacking off his dick as hard as I could.
He came with a long, low, almost-growl. His pelvis shifted up and he did a half sit-up to watch his dick in orgasm. More cum than I expected spilled from his cock and drizzled down my fingers.
I washed the lube from my hands, and he held me as we drifted to sleep.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
The look in the eyes
Every evening we are normally on our computers in the office. He is normally gaming while I am blogging, catching up on emails, or writing. (Blogging takes a lot of time!) We're always chit chatting and constantly interrupting the other with hugs, kisses, and sexy comments that turn the other on and disrupt concentration (another reason blogging takes so long).
Last night "the look" came up somehow. He feigned ignorance and I reminded him, "You know, THE LOOK. The one we have when we're having sex sometimes... that look." He couldn't play dumb for long, as the smile broke out across his face. Yes, he's aware of the look.
The look doesn't always make its appearance. Frequently his face his buried in my breasts or in my neck kissing me during sex. My eyes are typically close as I cannot keep them open while I'm orgasming or even close to an orgasm. But sometimes, with an effort... the look happens and when it does, I don't see anything but him.
It starts when we lock eyes. And then it stays. And for some breaths it says. We kiss, and our eyes are open, looking, staring. He is thrusting or I am rocking but the other is stopped, transfixed in time. The mouths are open, but there are no words. Just shallow breathing. Shared air.
The best sex either of us have had in our lives was in January. I came home from work stressed out beyond recognition. I went straight to bed and started crying. He was there with me, holding me to him, letting me wet his shirt in my tears. He held me so very tight that day. He kissed my forehead and my cheeks. He told me he would be there for me, it would work out. It was OK. As I calmed down his kisses started moving closer to my mouth and then down my neck. What followed was the most passionate, moving, and incredible sex I'd ever imagined possible.
The look first made its appearance there. At one point I was riding him in cowgirl and I was moving very slowly. His hands were on my back and I was bent over him. Our eyes were locked for what felt like hours. The emotional state of the room was intoxicating. I remember looking at him and thinking this was the most beautiful, joyous, ardent moment of my life. I never wanted it to end. Then he said, "I want this to last forever."
What followed was so intimate and so beautiful I didn't tweet about it and I won't describe it here. Its ours. Forever.
Every once in a while that look resurfaces. It may be for a few moments, it may just be for a second. The longer we hold it, the more intense the sex becomes. Sometimes he orders me to look at him, or our eyes meet by accident and we both hold it.
The look surfaced last night. It wasn't planned, even though we talked about it. We just looked. And looked. And then he breathed "I love you" to me. I almost started crying - it was so intense, and I was so freaking happy. I managed to say it back, barely. We kissed, lips just touching. Our mouths were open, lips touch, and we shared breath as he fucked me slowly, our eyes still locked. I broke into a smile, and he asked me why I was smiling. My eyes pricked with tears again. I lost my words.
He buried himself in my neck and kissed me and kissed me.
Last night "the look" came up somehow. He feigned ignorance and I reminded him, "You know, THE LOOK. The one we have when we're having sex sometimes... that look." He couldn't play dumb for long, as the smile broke out across his face. Yes, he's aware of the look.
The look doesn't always make its appearance. Frequently his face his buried in my breasts or in my neck kissing me during sex. My eyes are typically close as I cannot keep them open while I'm orgasming or even close to an orgasm. But sometimes, with an effort... the look happens and when it does, I don't see anything but him.
It starts when we lock eyes. And then it stays. And for some breaths it says. We kiss, and our eyes are open, looking, staring. He is thrusting or I am rocking but the other is stopped, transfixed in time. The mouths are open, but there are no words. Just shallow breathing. Shared air.
The best sex either of us have had in our lives was in January. I came home from work stressed out beyond recognition. I went straight to bed and started crying. He was there with me, holding me to him, letting me wet his shirt in my tears. He held me so very tight that day. He kissed my forehead and my cheeks. He told me he would be there for me, it would work out. It was OK. As I calmed down his kisses started moving closer to my mouth and then down my neck. What followed was the most passionate, moving, and incredible sex I'd ever imagined possible.
The look first made its appearance there. At one point I was riding him in cowgirl and I was moving very slowly. His hands were on my back and I was bent over him. Our eyes were locked for what felt like hours. The emotional state of the room was intoxicating. I remember looking at him and thinking this was the most beautiful, joyous, ardent moment of my life. I never wanted it to end. Then he said, "I want this to last forever."
What followed was so intimate and so beautiful I didn't tweet about it and I won't describe it here. Its ours. Forever.
Every once in a while that look resurfaces. It may be for a few moments, it may just be for a second. The longer we hold it, the more intense the sex becomes. Sometimes he orders me to look at him, or our eyes meet by accident and we both hold it.
The look surfaced last night. It wasn't planned, even though we talked about it. We just looked. And looked. And then he breathed "I love you" to me. I almost started crying - it was so intense, and I was so freaking happy. I managed to say it back, barely. We kissed, lips just touching. Our mouths were open, lips touch, and we shared breath as he fucked me slowly, our eyes still locked. I broke into a smile, and he asked me why I was smiling. My eyes pricked with tears again. I lost my words.
He buried himself in my neck and kissed me and kissed me.
Monday, April 9, 2012
When there's a difference in sexual pasts
Today I read a new blog entry by Liza called "Did We Miss Anything?" In it, she talks about what she and her husband have not done in their sexual lives (one night stands, friends with benefits, etc.) She asks Did we miss anything by being "good?"
Interesting question. Its one I've certainly had to consider. During my married days, I certainly regretted a lot of my sexual life. Why did I not have sex before marriage (a whole entry right there one day)? Will I always be trapped in this unfulfilling experience? Will I never get to experience all the sexual stuff that I want? Did I miss my chance in having "fun"?
Then I got divorced and suddenly everything was on my terms again. I really thought my first sexual experience post-divorce was going to be my first girl-girl action, but it wasn't. Instead the BF and I got hot 'n heavy and I was in a relationship. This time, before things were official, I made sure he understood that I wanted some girl-girl action... it was a deal-breaker if he wasn't OK with that. He was fine, but he wanted some guy-guy time. OK, deal. And those moments happen with the other's consent and the other is always allowed to be present/witness. I can live with that - it is still OUR relationship, not me+random girl or him+random guy.
There's something to consider, however, when entering a new relationship. Its the talk of the exes... having never been in a relationship where there was a prior ex (my ex had never dated anyone before me), I wasn't really sure what I needed to know vs wanted to know. It was a minefield of emotions, too.
I lost my virginity at 20. The BF lost his at 14. I've slept with 1 person other than him, he's slept with 1 guy and 6 girls, at least. Its not a huge number, but for me it seemed huge compared to my one, which felt like it barely counted. For the first time in my life I felt like I could be compared to someone and I had no idea how I would "rank" so to speak.
Why is ranking so important? Well, I'm a competitive person. I want to be the best, the first, always. It affects my school and my job and well, my personal life. In a relationship I should be the most important - but what if I'm not the best "lay" he's had? What if my inexperience makes me bad in bed? What if I don't have the nicest pussy? What if he's more turned on by others visually than by me? Would it kill me not to know? Should I even ask? Is this line of thinking completely bonkers and sabotaging or is it something I should legitimately care about since it means something to me?
And what about love? He says he loves me, but what if he doesn't love me as much or more than he's loved another? What if he's had fantastic love in the past and I'm a consolation prize because that one hurt him too much? What if I love him more than he does me? What if he always looks back and remembers how he loved one of the others more than me?
Ultimately, I decided that I would not jump into 20 questions, and I would let things go and do some self checks before my mind continued to get carried away.
I don't know if the competitor in me drove me to be better in bed, but I certainly wanted to be the best. Being the first to ever make him cum from oral put a nice check in my column, for me. As time passed I got more checks: the best hand job, the best orgasm, the longest orgasm, the best head... and finally, one day, the best sex ever. In a weird way, it was me saying I WIN to every chick who's had the privilege of him in bed before me.
But really, does any of it matter? One of his first "love messages" on facebook contained the lines, "i love you. you tell me
you love me now. and i love it. i cherish every letter of it each and
every time you say it. its the 3 words from you i want to hear forever.
and as long as you say it nothing else matters... not the women i've been with, not how many guys
you been with.." I reminded myself of those words many times in the first few months of our relationship. I know that he's had "a LOT of sex" with pretty much all of his exes (his emphasis, not mine)... a lot in the sense that what we have is barely comparable.
That's a lot of sex which I've never had/experienced in life. Do I regret it? No, I don't. I am who I am because of my prior sexual life (or non-life). I get to experience the greatest sexual awakening of my life with the most wonderful, caring man. For him, he gets to help me on the journey, watch me grow and develop. Help me explore myself, my boundaries, our experiences. Sex has never been better for either of us... and it all comes back to our mutual love and respect for each other.
He's had a wide breadth of experience. If anything, its a bonus that he comes to me experienced and knows how to generally please women. For us, its been pretty fantastic from the start. We've learned each other's bodies and likes pretty well. What I've learned is that it doesn't matter what or who he's done in the past because its the past. Just as my own frustrating hurtful experience contributed to me today, his past has helped shape him for who he is. And its in the past. He doesn't judge me for staying in my marriage for so long just as I don't judge him for sleeping with more women before me.
Our relationship is about us, not the past. Once we were talking about sharing "too much" info about the past and I remember he bursted out with, "Look, you think I like to know about your ex? If it were up to me he wouldn't exist at all, there'd be only me." We both feel the same way - ideally there wouldn't be a past, there'd be just us and only us and our lives together. I'm not going to allow the reality that there were others ruin anything I have in the present for it.
And one day, I'll be the first and only girl he's asked to marry him.
Interesting question. Its one I've certainly had to consider. During my married days, I certainly regretted a lot of my sexual life. Why did I not have sex before marriage (a whole entry right there one day)? Will I always be trapped in this unfulfilling experience? Will I never get to experience all the sexual stuff that I want? Did I miss my chance in having "fun"?
Then I got divorced and suddenly everything was on my terms again. I really thought my first sexual experience post-divorce was going to be my first girl-girl action, but it wasn't. Instead the BF and I got hot 'n heavy and I was in a relationship. This time, before things were official, I made sure he understood that I wanted some girl-girl action... it was a deal-breaker if he wasn't OK with that. He was fine, but he wanted some guy-guy time. OK, deal. And those moments happen with the other's consent and the other is always allowed to be present/witness. I can live with that - it is still OUR relationship, not me+random girl or him+random guy.
There's something to consider, however, when entering a new relationship. Its the talk of the exes... having never been in a relationship where there was a prior ex (my ex had never dated anyone before me), I wasn't really sure what I needed to know vs wanted to know. It was a minefield of emotions, too.
I lost my virginity at 20. The BF lost his at 14. I've slept with 1 person other than him, he's slept with 1 guy and 6 girls, at least. Its not a huge number, but for me it seemed huge compared to my one, which felt like it barely counted. For the first time in my life I felt like I could be compared to someone and I had no idea how I would "rank" so to speak.
Why is ranking so important? Well, I'm a competitive person. I want to be the best, the first, always. It affects my school and my job and well, my personal life. In a relationship I should be the most important - but what if I'm not the best "lay" he's had? What if my inexperience makes me bad in bed? What if I don't have the nicest pussy? What if he's more turned on by others visually than by me? Would it kill me not to know? Should I even ask? Is this line of thinking completely bonkers and sabotaging or is it something I should legitimately care about since it means something to me?
And what about love? He says he loves me, but what if he doesn't love me as much or more than he's loved another? What if he's had fantastic love in the past and I'm a consolation prize because that one hurt him too much? What if I love him more than he does me? What if he always looks back and remembers how he loved one of the others more than me?
Ultimately, I decided that I would not jump into 20 questions, and I would let things go and do some self checks before my mind continued to get carried away.
I don't know if the competitor in me drove me to be better in bed, but I certainly wanted to be the best. Being the first to ever make him cum from oral put a nice check in my column, for me. As time passed I got more checks: the best hand job, the best orgasm, the longest orgasm, the best head... and finally, one day, the best sex ever. In a weird way, it was me saying I WIN to every chick who's had the privilege of him in bed before me.
 |
| Yes, winning like this. |
That's a lot of sex which I've never had/experienced in life. Do I regret it? No, I don't. I am who I am because of my prior sexual life (or non-life). I get to experience the greatest sexual awakening of my life with the most wonderful, caring man. For him, he gets to help me on the journey, watch me grow and develop. Help me explore myself, my boundaries, our experiences. Sex has never been better for either of us... and it all comes back to our mutual love and respect for each other.
 |
| We are, after all, nerds in love |
He's had a wide breadth of experience. If anything, its a bonus that he comes to me experienced and knows how to generally please women. For us, its been pretty fantastic from the start. We've learned each other's bodies and likes pretty well. What I've learned is that it doesn't matter what or who he's done in the past because its the past. Just as my own frustrating hurtful experience contributed to me today, his past has helped shape him for who he is. And its in the past. He doesn't judge me for staying in my marriage for so long just as I don't judge him for sleeping with more women before me.
Our relationship is about us, not the past. Once we were talking about sharing "too much" info about the past and I remember he bursted out with, "Look, you think I like to know about your ex? If it were up to me he wouldn't exist at all, there'd be only me." We both feel the same way - ideally there wouldn't be a past, there'd be just us and only us and our lives together. I'm not going to allow the reality that there were others ruin anything I have in the present for it.
And one day, I'll be the first and only girl he's asked to marry him.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Pegging in cowgirl
I normally suggest pegging him more often than we do it. I love to fuck him, I really do. But its his butt, and he doesn't always want to have our big dildo up it. My boyfriend is kind of a size queen. We fuck with the Siren Dildo (see our review here)... its a girthy dildo. But that's what he likes.
So last night, he's wearing a hot pink thong. We're playing video games, and I realize its already getting late. I tell him to pause, he needs a plug. Into the bedroom we went and he was giggling slightly. I pulled out the plug, rinsed it off in warm water, and covered it in lube. I turned around, and he was on the bed on all fours, ass in the air with legs spread. I spanked him for being so eager, he blushed a little but didn't move.
I quickly but gently slid the plug in him. He gasped when it was its widest, and then sighed happily when it was all the way in. Back on went the panties, and he almost pranced back to his computer chair. Fast forward an hour or so, and he comes over to my desk, slightly tugging on the ring at the end of the plug. It was turning him on. I turned him around, moved the string of his thong away, and wiggled it. It He moaned. My bullet vibe was sitting on my desk, and I held it up to the plug turning it on a little bit. His eyes opened in surprise then closed in pleasure. I played with the vibrations more, and his dick started growing into its hardened form. I spanked him again, and sent him back to his desk.
Another hour or so, its very late. I tell him its time, I want to fuck him now. I ask him to try riding me. We've tried once before, but he hadn't been plugged and it was too much to just sit down on to. I pulled on my harness with the dildo ready for him. I lubed it up and laid down, excited. He tried to insert it, but it was too big to just take in. We rearranged, him on his back, me kneeling in front of him.
I slid it into him gently. We looked into each other's eyes as I slide into him, his legs curled over mine. Once in, I pushed slowly in. When I reached as far in as I could, he moaned in contentment. Yes, my size queen he is. I started to fuck him slowly. I got the angle wrong - and it slid out, the head making a sucking noise as it popped out of him. It hurt him a little, I repositioned and got the angle right this time, fucking him slowly. He was jacking off his dick, hard as I slid in and out of him. His legs began to curl up and I ran my hands softly up and down his legs. "Take my dick, oh good take it." His eyes were open, focused on me as slowly fucked him. I was kneeling back on my feet slightly, watching my own hips move back and forth.
He had me swing my lips forward to sit on the bed. I did this carefully, making sure I didn't remove my dildo from his ass. He sat up, moving his body toward me, we kissed with him sitting on my legs. It was close, intimate. He pushed my back and now I was lying down, and he was sitting on me in cowgirl, the dildo in him all the way. His feet were planted on the bed, and I pulled his arm toward me to adjust the angle.
He started bouncing lightly up and down, the look on his face one of surprise and delight. A brand new sensation of riding a dick. A minute passed and he was gripping the footboard helping him to balance. He admitted it was more tiring than he expected. I laughed, and told him to get on his knees rather than his feet. He readjusted, and now was grinding on me, dildo in his ass. I lubed up a hand and started jacking off his dick very slowly.
His face was furrowed in erotic concentration. He couldn't keep his eyes open, they were closed in enjoyment. "Yes my slut," I encouraged him. "Ride that dick, show me how much you like it." He started to ride me faster, and I let his movements jack himself off in my now steady hand. He had to hold onto the bed to keep going, it was intense. He sat upright, supporting himself with his hands on my thighs as he rode . Moans escaped his mouth as he rode me.
He was lost in the moment, and I realized why he loves it when I ride him - what a beautiful site it is, your lover riding your dick, body moving freely, showing you all their pleasure for you to watch, to touch. You can see their whole body moving in pleasure on you. With you in them. My hand is still on his dick, jacking him off at a slow pace.
"You are so beautiful," I quietly say, my awe of this beautiful site showing in my voice. He smiles shyly, and looks at me for the first time in minutes. "You are." I say again. "So sexy on me like this." He is overcome with emotion of the moment and the sensations, and he starts to cum, spurting his warm white cum on my hand and stomach. He spends the final moments grinding on the dildo, all in his ass, gripping the bed to stay upright.
When he gets up, his legs are shaky. Riding me was a lot harder and more physical than he expected, he had no idea it could be so much work. I laugh, loving that he can appreciate it when I tell him how I'm too tired to ride him at times.
We shower, and spend time kissing and hugging each other. I ask what he liked about being called beautiful, and I get more shy, cute smiles. He's truly bashful, and won't explain it. I comment that I wish I had a real dick, so I could better judge where I'm at in him. Having a dildo as your dick feels limiting, I'd rather feel it while I'm fucking him. The thought of me with a dick makes him bite his lip and almost shiver with excitement. He loves the idea, he can't imagine how wonderful it would be.
So last night, he's wearing a hot pink thong. We're playing video games, and I realize its already getting late. I tell him to pause, he needs a plug. Into the bedroom we went and he was giggling slightly. I pulled out the plug, rinsed it off in warm water, and covered it in lube. I turned around, and he was on the bed on all fours, ass in the air with legs spread. I spanked him for being so eager, he blushed a little but didn't move.
 |
| Pink plug in his butt |
Another hour or so, its very late. I tell him its time, I want to fuck him now. I ask him to try riding me. We've tried once before, but he hadn't been plugged and it was too much to just sit down on to. I pulled on my harness with the dildo ready for him. I lubed it up and laid down, excited. He tried to insert it, but it was too big to just take in. We rearranged, him on his back, me kneeling in front of him.
I slid it into him gently. We looked into each other's eyes as I slide into him, his legs curled over mine. Once in, I pushed slowly in. When I reached as far in as I could, he moaned in contentment. Yes, my size queen he is. I started to fuck him slowly. I got the angle wrong - and it slid out, the head making a sucking noise as it popped out of him. It hurt him a little, I repositioned and got the angle right this time, fucking him slowly. He was jacking off his dick, hard as I slid in and out of him. His legs began to curl up and I ran my hands softly up and down his legs. "Take my dick, oh good take it." His eyes were open, focused on me as slowly fucked him. I was kneeling back on my feet slightly, watching my own hips move back and forth.
He had me swing my lips forward to sit on the bed. I did this carefully, making sure I didn't remove my dildo from his ass. He sat up, moving his body toward me, we kissed with him sitting on my legs. It was close, intimate. He pushed my back and now I was lying down, and he was sitting on me in cowgirl, the dildo in him all the way. His feet were planted on the bed, and I pulled his arm toward me to adjust the angle.
He started bouncing lightly up and down, the look on his face one of surprise and delight. A brand new sensation of riding a dick. A minute passed and he was gripping the footboard helping him to balance. He admitted it was more tiring than he expected. I laughed, and told him to get on his knees rather than his feet. He readjusted, and now was grinding on me, dildo in his ass. I lubed up a hand and started jacking off his dick very slowly.
His face was furrowed in erotic concentration. He couldn't keep his eyes open, they were closed in enjoyment. "Yes my slut," I encouraged him. "Ride that dick, show me how much you like it." He started to ride me faster, and I let his movements jack himself off in my now steady hand. He had to hold onto the bed to keep going, it was intense. He sat upright, supporting himself with his hands on my thighs as he rode . Moans escaped his mouth as he rode me.
He was lost in the moment, and I realized why he loves it when I ride him - what a beautiful site it is, your lover riding your dick, body moving freely, showing you all their pleasure for you to watch, to touch. You can see their whole body moving in pleasure on you. With you in them. My hand is still on his dick, jacking him off at a slow pace.
"You are so beautiful," I quietly say, my awe of this beautiful site showing in my voice. He smiles shyly, and looks at me for the first time in minutes. "You are." I say again. "So sexy on me like this." He is overcome with emotion of the moment and the sensations, and he starts to cum, spurting his warm white cum on my hand and stomach. He spends the final moments grinding on the dildo, all in his ass, gripping the bed to stay upright.
When he gets up, his legs are shaky. Riding me was a lot harder and more physical than he expected, he had no idea it could be so much work. I laugh, loving that he can appreciate it when I tell him how I'm too tired to ride him at times.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Midweek, post-nap sex
I awoke from my nap (see part 1 of this story), the breezing was blowing across my back sending shivers up my spine. I tried to reposition myself, but he pulled me closer, tighter to him in his sleep. I couldn't move, but I didn't want to wake him. I settled into his chest, and dozed. Some minutes passed, and I forced myself away and flipped to lay on my stomach. He awoke, and turned over to tuck himself into me and cuddle me. We murmured about our nap, the breeze, the day. Our joy.
His hands started wandering, and found their way to my ass. He wanted me again, and when I reached for his dick it was almost hard again. He started fondling my breast, tweaking at my nipple. He spooned me, kissing my back and neck. He pulled on my hips and I moved slightly so his dick could find my vagina. My wetness was pooled at the entrance, waiting. He slid in, moaning at it... and questioning how in the world I could be so incredibly wet. (As if he doesn't know the reason.)
We took turns, him thrusting into me, me grinding against him. Slow and sensuous. Minutes passed and we kept taking turns, sometimes fighting for who would control the direction. He told me he wanted me to cum. "Don't you have any cum for me, my love?" I did - grinding against him, feeling his dick slide in and out and all these angles I'm not used to, my orgasming had been building. His words set me over the edge, and I was bucking against him. He gave my back some kisses, and pushed me onto my stomach. My legs stayed almost on their side, but not straight. His dick never left my pussy.
I turned my head to look at him, and our eyes locked. We just looked at each other as I pushed my ass into him and he fucked me gently. His hands were resting above my head, and I reached up to grab them in my hands, holding him, bracing against him, He played with me, going fast and shallow or fast and deep, changing his pattern. We were fucking for pure enjoyment, no schedule, no deadlines. Just us.
I could feel my clit boner begging for attention, but I needed his dick. I told him I wanted to cum with my clit with him in me. He chuckled at my clit horniness, but pulled out and sat back so I could flip around. I reached down, and even I was astounded by how wet I was. I expressed my surprised, and he laughed with me at how incredible it was. I started fingering my clit, wiggling it back and forth, and he kissed me as his dick entered me again.
Only it didn't enter all the way. He just inserted barely past the head, and pulled out. It wasn't enough, I wanted more. He whispered in my ear, "No, my little dick is too small... it won't satisfy you." And I moaned from excruciating anticipation. No, I wanted full, deep dick... I would never get off without it. I wanted all of him. I moaned, complaining.
"No, I want all of you, I need your dick."
"My dick's too small, it barely goes in at all. I can't satisfy you."
My clit was feeling amazing, but I knew I wasn't going to get off this way. But what could I do? I played the game. "No, its too small. I'll go find a bigger dick to satisfy me."
His breathing picked up, but he kept teasing me. "You fucking tease!" I admitted. "I can't cum this way!"
He knew his plan was working. He kept teasing me. My orgasm was building, almost ready to go, but I had no dick in me. I couldn't cum.
I complained more, louder, I humiliated his small dick for not satisfying me, leaving me frustrated.
Finally, he pushed in all the way, out, then all in with more force... and he exploded into orgasm. His thrusting caught me off guard, I need more thrusts to orgasm. But he knew, he kept pushing, fast thrusting in me, until I was screaming, bucking against him, squeezing his dick. He was motionless but I was still riding his dick, cumming all over it. Finally, after I was satisfied, I relaxed and opened my eyes. He was watching me, smile on his face.
His hands started wandering, and found their way to my ass. He wanted me again, and when I reached for his dick it was almost hard again. He started fondling my breast, tweaking at my nipple. He spooned me, kissing my back and neck. He pulled on my hips and I moved slightly so his dick could find my vagina. My wetness was pooled at the entrance, waiting. He slid in, moaning at it... and questioning how in the world I could be so incredibly wet. (As if he doesn't know the reason.)
We took turns, him thrusting into me, me grinding against him. Slow and sensuous. Minutes passed and we kept taking turns, sometimes fighting for who would control the direction. He told me he wanted me to cum. "Don't you have any cum for me, my love?" I did - grinding against him, feeling his dick slide in and out and all these angles I'm not used to, my orgasming had been building. His words set me over the edge, and I was bucking against him. He gave my back some kisses, and pushed me onto my stomach. My legs stayed almost on their side, but not straight. His dick never left my pussy.
I turned my head to look at him, and our eyes locked. We just looked at each other as I pushed my ass into him and he fucked me gently. His hands were resting above my head, and I reached up to grab them in my hands, holding him, bracing against him, He played with me, going fast and shallow or fast and deep, changing his pattern. We were fucking for pure enjoyment, no schedule, no deadlines. Just us.
I could feel my clit boner begging for attention, but I needed his dick. I told him I wanted to cum with my clit with him in me. He chuckled at my clit horniness, but pulled out and sat back so I could flip around. I reached down, and even I was astounded by how wet I was. I expressed my surprised, and he laughed with me at how incredible it was. I started fingering my clit, wiggling it back and forth, and he kissed me as his dick entered me again.
Only it didn't enter all the way. He just inserted barely past the head, and pulled out. It wasn't enough, I wanted more. He whispered in my ear, "No, my little dick is too small... it won't satisfy you." And I moaned from excruciating anticipation. No, I wanted full, deep dick... I would never get off without it. I wanted all of him. I moaned, complaining.
"No, I want all of you, I need your dick."
"My dick's too small, it barely goes in at all. I can't satisfy you."
My clit was feeling amazing, but I knew I wasn't going to get off this way. But what could I do? I played the game. "No, its too small. I'll go find a bigger dick to satisfy me."
His breathing picked up, but he kept teasing me. "You fucking tease!" I admitted. "I can't cum this way!"
He knew his plan was working. He kept teasing me. My orgasm was building, almost ready to go, but I had no dick in me. I couldn't cum.
I complained more, louder, I humiliated his small dick for not satisfying me, leaving me frustrated.
Finally, he pushed in all the way, out, then all in with more force... and he exploded into orgasm. His thrusting caught me off guard, I need more thrusts to orgasm. But he knew, he kept pushing, fast thrusting in me, until I was screaming, bucking against him, squeezing his dick. He was motionless but I was still riding his dick, cumming all over it. Finally, after I was satisfied, I relaxed and opened my eyes. He was watching me, smile on his face.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Formspring Friday: Intimacy, lick or suck, and feet
Q. What is more intimate: blowjob or intercourse?
To me, intimacy is about togetherness in complete vulnerability. Intimacy takes place both in and outside of sex, but I think you're just asking about sex. For me, intercourse is much more intimate than giving a blow job. When I'm going down on my BF, my whole world is about him. I don't focus on anything but giving him pleasure. When we're having intercourse, the moment is about us. We focus on each other - we're kissing, looking to each others' eyes, expressing our love and pleasure for each other, telling each other how attractive we are, how much we want to be together. The moment is about us together, our pleasure together. The BF likes to make sure I have at least 1 orgasm before he cums. In the rare chance I don't, he automatically starts fingering me or going down on me to make sure I do. I love to give him blow jobs, to focus on his pleasure and give him complete, focused pleasure. And I love it when he does the same for me. But its always better when its us together enjoying each other.
Q. Licking or sucking?
Li-li-li-li-lick it like a lollipop! I love it when the BF licks me. When he licks my neck it makes me go wild - I almost came once from him licking that special spot on my neck. One time during sex he started licking from between my breasts up my chest to my neck then just below my ear. Feeling his hot tongue on me was so fucking hot. When he's going down on me, I love his tongue licking any part of my pussy. He can suck on it too, but licking is SO MUCH BETTER. As far as what I want to do to him? Well, I'd rather suck on a cock any day over licking it.
Q. Pepsi or coke? Beer or wine?
I'm not a cola drinker, so I'll pass on both the pepsi or cola. I'll take a 7UP instead. As for beer or wine, I really don't like either. I'm not a big drinker by any means, but if I do imbibe then give me some rum, vodka, or gin.
Q. Footjobs - fair or foul?
Foul? No way! I love giving a foot job to my BF. As long as I haven't been running around barefoot where my feet are really dirty, he wants my feet on him. He gets so incredibly turned on by my feet. Just rubbing my toes against his foot will turn him on and make him hard... when I put some lube on my feet and rub his cock, I love to watch his face and body. He melts into the moment, torn between just enjoying the feeling and watching it. Both turn him on so much. So yes, a foot job. Almost any time.
Want to ask me a question? Just head to formspring.me/billikesscifi and ask anything you want. Really. Anything. Try me. I'll answer the following Sunday.
To me, intimacy is about togetherness in complete vulnerability. Intimacy takes place both in and outside of sex, but I think you're just asking about sex. For me, intercourse is much more intimate than giving a blow job. When I'm going down on my BF, my whole world is about him. I don't focus on anything but giving him pleasure. When we're having intercourse, the moment is about us. We focus on each other - we're kissing, looking to each others' eyes, expressing our love and pleasure for each other, telling each other how attractive we are, how much we want to be together. The moment is about us together, our pleasure together. The BF likes to make sure I have at least 1 orgasm before he cums. In the rare chance I don't, he automatically starts fingering me or going down on me to make sure I do. I love to give him blow jobs, to focus on his pleasure and give him complete, focused pleasure. And I love it when he does the same for me. But its always better when its us together enjoying each other.
Q. Licking or sucking?
Li-li-li-li-lick it like a lollipop! I love it when the BF licks me. When he licks my neck it makes me go wild - I almost came once from him licking that special spot on my neck. One time during sex he started licking from between my breasts up my chest to my neck then just below my ear. Feeling his hot tongue on me was so fucking hot. When he's going down on me, I love his tongue licking any part of my pussy. He can suck on it too, but licking is SO MUCH BETTER. As far as what I want to do to him? Well, I'd rather suck on a cock any day over licking it.
Q. Pepsi or coke? Beer or wine?
I'm not a cola drinker, so I'll pass on both the pepsi or cola. I'll take a 7UP instead. As for beer or wine, I really don't like either. I'm not a big drinker by any means, but if I do imbibe then give me some rum, vodka, or gin.
Q. Footjobs - fair or foul?
Foul? No way! I love giving a foot job to my BF. As long as I haven't been running around barefoot where my feet are really dirty, he wants my feet on him. He gets so incredibly turned on by my feet. Just rubbing my toes against his foot will turn him on and make him hard... when I put some lube on my feet and rub his cock, I love to watch his face and body. He melts into the moment, torn between just enjoying the feeling and watching it. Both turn him on so much. So yes, a foot job. Almost any time.
Want to ask me a question? Just head to formspring.me/billikesscifi and ask anything you want. Really. Anything. Try me. I'll answer the following Sunday.
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