Monday, February 20, 2012

The Rule

When the BF and I started dating (another story for another time), we agreed on "The Rule" of our relationship. The rule was simple: We had to date for 1 year before we could consider the next step.

Its a simple rule, right? Well, it seemed that way. 1 year to get to know each other, experience the other through thick and thin, the good and bad. It seemed smart and safe and pretty straightforward. What we have found is that it is the opposite.

I think we first muddied the waters by moving in together almost immediately. For him this was more along the "normal" of his relationships. For me, this was one of the greatest life-changing events I've done. I had never lived with anyone other than my ex, and we didn't live together until we had been married. But for us, it was an easy decision. He lived several states away and neither of us wanted anything long-distance. We'd done that enough with facebook, skype, chatting, and phone. We wanted to be together. So we took the leap and he moved in three weeks after our first in-person meeting. Three weeks was all I needed.

He first broke this rule last November. I was traveling for business and he came with me for the week. One day after work we had sex before going out to dinner. It was an incredibly hot session and he whispered in my ear, "I love you Mrs. _____" and I couldn't stop from saying back "I want to be your wife!" He came almost immediately upon my exclamation, and I definitely took notice of that. It was so fucking hot and sweet at the same time.  It was around this time that I started twittering our sex life.

Since then, we've both broken the rule upon occasion. I tend to break it after a very strong emotional event when I'm feeling incredibly vulnerable or incredibly close to him. He has started breaking it all the time.

Last night I was discussing his repeated breaking of the rule over the weekend, and he accidentally let it slip that when he masturbates he almost always thinks of me as his wife. How fucking hot and awesome is that? I don't consider myself a jaded individual by any means, but I do think its rare that a man wants marriage that badly. I'm so incredibly turned on by this.

I also found out last night that we have different understandings of the rule. For me, the "next step" is getting engaged. For him, its getting married. WOAH, what? I can't go from dating to married in a year!  I clarified my stance, and of course he likes his side better - but I feel pretty strongly about my stance.

For now, I'll do my best to be good and keep the rule in tact. And I'm sure he'll do his best to get me to do away with it.

1 comment:

  1. Heh, when SwingBot and I first got together, I stated a rule: We must date at least five years before getting married. There was no set length for the engagement, since I figured that "engagement" would just mean "that time it takes to go from agreeing to get married to getting the paperwork done," so I cared more about the time before getting into the marriage mindset.