Monday, September 17, 2012

Positive Reception

I write this blog in relative anonymity. In a way, I really hate having to do this. I love to be honest and just talk and share about sex and sexual experiences. I don't have a problem sharing, yet I suspect others see me as unwilling or disinterested. A couple of years ago, I was compared to "Charlotte" from SATC because, apparently, I'm viewed as very proper and not very kinky at all. If only they knew...

I've actually told 2 real life friends about this blog. The reception has been better than I really expected.

First I told a friend from college who I had actually shared a bit of my private life with before I even started my blog. I know her to be very open minded and I knew she would be understanding if not accepting of my writing. As it turns out, she really likes (possibly love) my blog. She identifies as queer and I love talking sexuality with her. I thought she would only take a look at it, but I think she's become a (semi) regular reader.

Then I told my sister. I really wasn't sure if she'd be interested, but one day I just blurted out "So I'm a sex blogger" and I didn't get much of a reaction. A few months later I mentioned it again and she wanted more details. A few days later, I sent her the blog link.

Within minutes I was getting all sorts of questions. What's pegging? What do you think of ____? What do you recommend for a vibe? What about lube?

And the floodgates of communication opened like I had always wanted but was unsure could happen. We can fully talk about sex and toys... it was such an awesome day when she told me that she no longer felt awkward talking to me about sex. She calls for advice and no question is off limits.

We don't share intimate details (OK, well I do on the blog...). At the most we share topics of how often, what we like, what we did, how sex fits into our normal routines. I've given her topic previews of what is coming up on the blog. Some things she wants to hear, others give her pause with a reaction like, "What? You had a guy over and pegged him? Wow."

There's no judgement. Not everything is a shared interest, but that would just make our conversations boring.

I couldn't have hoped for a more positive response from my college friend or my sister (my best friend). I'd love to share with a few more friends who I think might be open to my perspective, but I'm not rushing things. For now I really enjoy my anonymity and I have no intention of just outing myself to the world (however fun the initial shock might be).

In reality, it took a leap of faith for my college friend to come out to me and then for us both to share about sexuality and our personal experiences. The same could be said for my sister. If either had had a negative reaction it wouldn't have changed a thing, but I've gained so much in return. The most important is being valued for my true self, which is the best I think anyone could hope for.

On a final note, the funniest thing that's been said about my blog: "Now I know you've been naked on everything, especially your couch. I don't want to sit on it now."

My response, "Hey, we haven't spilled any bodily fluids on it!"

12 comments:

  1. I will never be able to blog openly, but I have let two lovers read there, however never any friends or family. The fear is too great so it gives me a ton of pleasure to see your great experience in revealing to those close to you. How wonderful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Fear was an element for me, but I did feel relatively safe so I went ahead and did it.

      Delete
  2. I'm glad you've been able to share your blog out there in the real world with people who mean so much to you - it's not something I could ever do, so I tip my hat to your bravery!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was a calculated risk, there is a long list of people I would never show this to, I promise you!

      Delete
  3. That's awesome. Especially about your sister!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Leather couches are great for bodily fluids, by the way. Towel off, disinfect, wipe with leather conditioner. Done in less than 2 minutes (the cleaning, perv!). ;-)

    I love that you've been able to open up and expand your existing relationships. I think the trick is to use solid, sound judgement and risk it with those who can handle it. Sounds like you've got that part down pat.

    Stay SINful
    Mr. AP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Looks like I need to purchase some leather conditioner! It sounds like you are quite the expert in this type of cleaning.

      Delete
  5. The interesting thing is, NONE of my real life friends or family know of my blog. However, I do have RL friends that know about my blog because they met me through the blog and/or twitter. I'm not sure I'll tell any of my RL friends about the blog. Not because I don't think some if them would be cool about it, but how do I know who else they will tell and so on and so forth? There's people I'm ok with knowing and others I'd be uncomfortable with knowing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's so amazing to hear the closeness it has brought for you and your sister, especially. I would love to tell mine, and we do talk about sex but I think she would be creeped out by the explicit details in some of my blog posts. Btw, I miss talking with you and just recently have decided I REALLY want to be with a woman sexually...and it made me think of you and your openness. :) big smiles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I miss you too! And let's talk more about this new found desire!

      Delete