TMI Tuesday: The sexiest thing

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Listen to me: Guest feature on Wholesome Addiction podcast

Have you listened,  yet?

You need to! This special Christmas edition of the Wholesome Addiction podcast features the horny male hosts (as usual) but also: myself, Plumptious Pea, and TisforTMI. We laugh, we flirt, and we all got REALLY horny.... how can you not when discussing and singing the 12 days or pornmas?

Go listen!

e-lust #42

 

Photo courtesy of Penny

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Please check the site in January to find out if e[lust] will be continuing under a new owner, or not. Thanks for participating!
~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~
My Stint as an Escort
Gone Daddy Gone
Showing My Spots
~ e[lust] Editress ~
Curtain Call
~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~
Thoughts: Safe Words
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Ask Aunty Dee: Anal Play and Buttplugs
Being sexy
I'm Monogamish, Apparently
Orgasms, Spontaneous
Profoundly in love
Rape Fantasies
Why Don't You Go Fuck Yourself?
Kink & Fetish
An Unexpected Gift
Cathartic Sex
Confession: The Stalking of a Doll
He got off to my laugh
Kink Guide to Fifty Shades Darker: conclusion
Kinky erotica from the top's point of view
Pain and Collars
Pegging Prep for Virgin Territory
The Cowboy (1 of 4)
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
a different kind of scene
Erotic Writing
Desperation
Dream Lover
Everything You Give
From the Inside
Get Back in Line
Just Hands
Lust in the Dunes - Part VII: The Love Elite
nching on "Special K"
On The Phone
Out of the Blue
Tease
Take Two
The Stranger
White Stockings, White Stockings She Wore
What if?
Writing Challenge - A Question

Best Saturday of my life

If you haven't seen the big news that popped up over the weekend for us, here it is again:

We're engaged!

This wasn't planned, although if you're a reader of this blog, you can safely assume it hasn't been unexpected. We've always discussed marriage as a goal to this relationship: if we get there. Only 5 months into the relationship, he called me "Mrs ____" during sex, so we started the rule. As we approached our first year anniversary, we took another look at the rule and realized it was still relevant. Just a month or so ago, we realized the rule no longer existed, but things were just "waiting." 

Well, wait over!

We had talked rings and timing briefly -- As in, what I liked and wanted in a ring and if we were ready to really make this official. He's been ready for a while, but I really didn't want to become engaged until it had been a year and a half for us - so, in December or later seemed fine. 

Late last week, while texting me at work, he suggested we have a date night this weekend. We haven't had one in a while - months really - and I was so excited to do it. We planned a dinner and a movie: he could pick the movie and I would pick the restaurant. Now, we live together so we always eat and watch movies together. But we still make special times for dates out where we pay extra attention to what we wear, where we eat, and take a break from life.

Saturday was an excellent day. I woke up feeling very warm arms wrap themselves around me, and light kisses planted on my shoulder. My mind started to wake up and he said, "Morning my love. You are so beautiful, so sexy, so pretty, so smart, and so hardworking. I love you so much." I smiled and nestled back into him, feeling his soft dick fall in between my ass cheeks. He snuggled me and held me close.

We laid there quite a while, switching sides. At some point I flipped over and we shared some kisses before I nestled against his chest and let him kiss my forehead as he held me tight. His hands wandered up my body and I soon felt a hard cock against my thigh. I teased it slightly and started to tease him more. He begged for me to jack him off and I grabbed the lube to comply.

What followed was a hand CBT hand job. I didn't torture his cock unless you count a lot of edging and denying orgasm. My greatest torture was spanking his balls. Spanking, slight squeezing, and then some really hard spanking. It was the slowest motion I've made him cum with  my hand. I'll have to write up those details soon. It deserves its own post.

After his orgasm, I received several excellent orgasms via his fingers on my clit. My favorite part was feeling all of the fingers on his hand running through my very wet pussy. I love how he soaks his fingers in my juices. It's fucking hot to know he'll be smelling me on him all day.

We got up, got dressed, and spent our Saturday as we typically do: video gaming and flirting with each other. During the afternoon, I spent a couple of hours with some of my favorite twitter crushes PlumptiousPea and TisforTMI (both ladies have very hot blogs I recommend them both!) and the nasty men of the Wholesome Addiction podcast recording a special segment for an upcoming show. Two hours of flirting and laughing till my mouth was tired (unusual it gets so tired from laughing -wink wink-).

Needless to say, I was SO turned on from all this girl flirting (I went speechless many times through the recording) as was the BF my fiance (that will take some getting used to!) that we had to go fuck. Immediately. As soon as I stepped away from my mic, he looked at me and said, "Can we PLEASE go fuck now!?"

Off to the bedroom we went, kissing and grabbing at each other. I rode him cowgirl - furiously. Hard. Fast. Needy. He wanted me to make him orgasm and then keep fucking him. So I did. He kissed and sucked on my nipples as I rode him through both of our orgasms and watched his body tremble from pleasure under me. I felt him grow soft a little, so I climbed off and grabbed my Hitachi and masturbated with his hands wandering around my thighs, grabbing and gripping me, as I orgasmed. He was hard again, so I gave him a hand job with a blow job finish.

We still had two hours before our dinner reservation, so we napped holding each other for nearly an hour before getting up and eventually getting ready for our date. (My idea of getting ready was lounging around naked for 45 minutes). With 15 minutes until we had to leave, we both dressed. He dressed in khaki's and his best button down shirt and I dressed in black fishnets, hot pink skirt, and a chunky black sweater. I wore black leather ankle boots that he said were "fucking sexy" on me.

We made it to dinner on time - our first dinner at Benihana. It was my choice for a restaurant; neither of us had ever eaten there, but I knew it would be fun. We were seating with 2 other couples (leaving 2 seats free) so we had plenty of room. One couple kept to themselves, but we chatted somewhat with the other couple at the table.

Dinner was delicious. He kept rubbing my back with his arm. We were both just so fucking happy to have this evening out. It was a beautiful evening together. Dinner was fun and entertaining and we really enjoyed it. When it was over, we had nearly an hour until our movie started just across the street. We decided to drop off our leftovers at the car and then do some mall shopping. 

On our way to the car, he pulled my arm and said, "Hey, wait a moment." I turned, wondering what he could want. It was cold, chilly, and slightly raining. I turned to him and there he was, on one knee, holding up this beautiful ring. I think my mouth dropped open and he said, "Will you marry me?" And then I smothered him.

My ring - white topaz, not a diamond per my request

No really, I did. I grabbed his head and smothered him in my boobs and held him for dear life. At that point, he struggled to stand up and give me a proper hug. The ring was slipped on my finger, and I hugged and kissed him. I almost started crying, but seeing him struggle away from suffocating in my boobs made me laugh too much and too hard to let any tears fall. We spent the next twenty minutes just wandering the mall and decided the movie was not what we wanted tonight. We wanted to just spend time together interacting rather than sitting in a dark theater.

So we drove him, me deliriously happy and he just smiled. And then, true to our roots, we hopped online and told one of our closest gamer friends the good news. And then I started crying. Then I posted the news on facebook and texted my parents (I knew they would be surprised and would need time to digest the news vs a happy call from me). And then I announced the news on twitter. 

Then I took my fiance into the bedroom and said, "I need to attack you!" and I did.

The past 24 hours I've had nothing but congratulations, and kind, lovely words from everyone. It really was the best day.

Engaged

We went to dinner at Benihana.

We had a lovely, fun dinner.

He proposed just at the end.

I said yes.  

More to come...

Cheating isn't a 'sex positive' activity

A few days ago on twitter, I saw some tweets from someone I followed. He and I have chatted a bit and I know the following about him: He a kinky bisexual and married but keeps his sexuality and desire for kink secret from his wife out of fear of her reaction to the truth. I have no problem with this. I've encouraged him to be open, honest, take it slow, start small, etc. It seems it's gotten a bit better, but he remains frustrated.

But then, a few days ago, he tweeted he wanted to look for other married men to hook up with behind his wife's back because she wouldn't understand.

And that is when I unfollowed him.

I then tweeted about how I will not follow folks on twitter or blogs who are obviously cheating on their partner/spouses.  I was a little bit surprised when a fellow blogger and twitter friend suggested I was judging those people and that I shouldn't label all cheating in one foul swoop of "you are bad."

Really?

I don't take comments like this lightly. I've seriously considered my POV of this, so let me explain a bit. I respect this blogger even though we don't always see eye to eye on topics. (See his blog post on my harsh line on cheating here). Was I being too harsh?

No, and here's why: Cheating on your partner and telling the rest of the world about it is like hitting your spouse and tweeting about it, but this time the whole world "celebrates" and "supports" you in the name of "being real" and "sex positive."

"But cheating happens. You can't prevent it. People have their own choice in life so sometimes they cheat. It's not our place to say what's good/bad or right/wrong", is it? Well, if you're intentionally acting in a way that's against the agreement in your relationship, then yes, I'm going to stand up and say, "That's wrong." If it weren't wrong, you wouldn't be hiding this information from your spouse!  Not everyone lives by the same rules and there are few universal rules in this world -- but if you know its wrong, then I'm not going to encourage you to act on it.  For me, that means following you, commenting on your blogs, and therefore saying that, yes, you are a person I would like to know more.

Cheating happens; I get that.. it doesn't make it any better or more ok than any other action where your spouse gets hurt. For some relationships its a breaking point; for others, its a hiccup in the road. Either way, it's not a positive action so I can't support you in it. I wouldn't support other negative actions like abuse, rape, lying, stealing, or insulting either. It's a negative action.

Those who cheat seem to be too depressed/frustrated/stressed/angry/unhappy/lonely/horny in their relationship, so cheating becomes an escape from their reality*. For those situations, I really see two options here: cheat, or break up. There is no way to justify cheating. "Oh, but my relationship with my partner is complicated." SO WHAT? Relationships are hard. Work on it, or have the basic human decency to tell your partner the truth rather than lie about it. You either disrespect your partner in one of the most personal ways possible, or you leave because the relationship is too broken to fix or you don't really want to put in the effort. (Or, you really are scum and a douchebag because you just don't care.)

"Cheating" happens to two people - the one who cheats, and the one who will probably find out at some point. Some couples break up, others don't. Don't tell the world you're cheating via sex blog or twitter and expect everyone to cheer you on and say "Yay! Good for you for getting what you want!"

What about the other half of that relationship? By your own admission you know your spouse wouldn't be happy about this - so how can I be happy for you?

For the record, I've unfollowed people on twitter (tweeters? that sounds dirty) and bloggers for: cheating and frequent spouse bad mouthing. It all comes down to respect - if you can't respect your partner in some of the most basic ways, then I can't respect you and I really don't want to be involved with you in any way. It is my line in the sand.

*I offered, as a sarcastic option, that the only justification for cheating would be if the partner was in a multi-year coma. As in, so much time as passed and there's no certainty anything will ever be back to normal, then yeah, go ahead and cheat. Would I act by that? I'm not sure. My relationship has the potential to be open, and I think my BF would understand if I needed to have my bed rocked every so often during his years of comatose state.

TMI Tuesday: Fantasy, Anyone?

1. Do you think that acting out a fantasy can sometimes cause damage to a relationship?
 Only if one partner feels coerced or forced to be a part/not a part of this fantasy. If both partners are willing, I'm not sure how it can be damaging.

2. Some couples role play their fantasies rather than introducing another person into the relationship to live out their fantasies. Do you think that this is an acceptable substitute?
Wait, people role play their fantasies without their regular partner? I'm confused... I thought role playing was about playing with your partner, not finding someone else. I've always wanted my partner to be a part of my fantasy in some way; at the very least, emotionally supportive. In my world, having your partner part of the fantasy is the point!

3. Is there a particular movie or TV series or character from a movie or TV series that you fantasise about?
No, I don't. The closest I've come is fantasizing about Clay Matthews. Can you blame me?

4. Apart from the obvious things like child abuse, are there some things that are ‘off limits’ for a fantasy e.g. incest fantasies, age play, rape fantasies. Why/ why not?
I think a fantasy is just that, a fantasy. I'm don't think fantasizing about anything is off limits. Would I act out everything? No, certainly not. But the BF and I have fantasized brother-sister scenes, Daddy-daughter, and rape. We've enjoyed all of it!

5. What is the most taboo thing you have ever fantasised about doing?
I'm going to plead the fifth. And for this blog, you know that's extreme....

6. Tell us about a fantasy that you have that you don’t ever see yourself actually acting out. Why do you think you will never act it out?
Well, there's the jungle gang-bang fantasy that is my oft-used masturbation fantasy.  I've been told it's pretty hot - and I'd recommend you go read it if you haven't yet. In reality, I don't want to stumble across a bunch of people and be forced to take cock after cock and be bukkaked regardless of what I say. There is no safety word or safe sex in my fantasy - and that's why it will remain a fantasy.

7. Have you ever pretended the person you were having sex with was someone else without telling them?
Yes. I felt terrible about it. But it's only happened with my ex.

8. Have you ever tried to make a fantasy a reality only to have it fail miserably? What happened?
No, not yet. But we haven't done a lot of role playing, either.

Bonus: Tell us about your most cherished fantasy. Did you ever live it out? Please give us all the juicy details because that is the kind of people we are.
I don't know if I have a most cherished fantasy. The past year and a half has been an incredible sexual experience. So many things I've wanted to do sexually (with a man) I have now done. I would say 90% of my fantasies include women now.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

What is vanilla sex?

Sometimes I forget what "vanilla sex" is. It's when I realize I'm so far down the 'rabbit hole' of kink that I forget there are many, many people out there for whom vanilla sex is their way of life.

My only experience with vanilla sex is the sex I had with my ex, and that sucked a big majority of the time due to our complete sexual and attraction mismatch. It was just.... so boring.

Is that what vanilla sex is: boring sex? Sex without toys? A lot of rules (but none of them playful)? No daring? No exploring of limits? Just sex? That's it?

Where does kink begin in the area of vanilla sex? Exchanging dirty photographs? Licking food off someone? Having sex outside of the bedroom?

I don't know the answers to these questions. It's really not important, until I start interacting with the vanilla world. Like coworkers. Or facebook friends who, when I answer their joke about sex shops advertising on Pandora with a "why not?" are so shocked I would be OK with that.

I've lost track with what is 'normal.'

There was a time when I said "normal is the average of all extremes." But "normal" doesn't fit "vanilla sex."

Vanilla sex.... I can't define it, but I know it when I see/hear it.

Perhaps vanilla sex is when one partner is kinky and the other is wanting more variety. That can feel like vanilla sex hell. I've certainly been there. I'm so happy I'm not there anymore.

If you're stuck in vanilla sex hell, I have no words of advice for you. My advice and my journey is not yours, nor should my opinion make any impact in your life.