Friday, June 28, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
TMI Tuesday: Sex Talk & Sex Ed
June is Adult Sex Ed Month (twitter: #AdultSexEdMonth). The movement was started by blogger @GoodDirtyWoman on twitter. Please read more here: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/june-is-adultsexedmonth/
This week’s TMI Tuesday questions were inspired by Sex-Ed writer Jon Pressick and his#dailysexdiscussion that happens on twitter.
1. Have you ever investigated having an open relationship?
- Have you tried to have an open relationship?
- Have you tried to have an open relationship?
We have talked about having an open relationship, of sorts. Right now I'm looking for a girlfriend who will be my girlfriend (and not his). We're also open to probably playing with other people that we know. Our definition of open is more poly than swinging but we haven't really defined anything yet.
That said, there are definitely people we want to play with.
2. Do you have any sexual phobias?
- What have you done to manage or overcome them?
- What have you done to manage or overcome them?
Maybe? There's not a lot I'm afraid of, sexually. I do have a weird thing about eating ejaculate if not deposited directly deep in my mouth. I don't dislike the taste. It's more that... the texture creeps me out a bit. If he comes on my face and wants me to lick it, I have a very hard time. I actually gag on it.
3. What is the best new sexual activity you have tried in 2013?
Wow.... am I at a loss for how to answer this question? I think I may be! I can't think of anything distinctly new we've done in 2013... hmmm....
4. Have you ever called into a sex advice radio/television show or written to a sex advice columnist?
- Was it helpful?
- Was it helpful?
No, I prefer books and online research more.
5. Would you use the services of a sex therapist? Why or why not?
Yes, I would be open to that if I saw a need.
6. Should sex therapists be allowed to engage in actual sexual activities with clients? Why or why not?
I highly recommend watching the movie “The Sessions” based on a true story of how a sex therapist helped a disabled man live a full, rich life that included sex. Movie trailer:http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1866249/
I think so. Not all therapy is done through talk therapy. Sometimes, physical touch is needed. I've often thought for sex that having interaction and working through the physical with someone knowledgeable would be a positive experience.
Bonus: Have you read any adult sex ed books lately? What do you recommend?
No, nothing lately. I actually need to add some to my collection so I can continue my learning!
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Regaining life
Something I did not expect happened to me in May. I was offered a chance at a new life. It was presented in the form of a change switch: switch departments with a coworker and have some of the change I've been asking for from my work. Ok then.
I had no idea it was going to be so life-changing for me. I didn't move desks or even titles. I just switched responsibilities and my life was free. The change wasn't immediately felt. It took weeks of transition and training to get to something new.... and there it was.
Free time.
Something I hadn't quite experienced at this level for more than two years.
Two years.
I knew my life was out of balance, but I had no idea just how much it was until I actually came home from work - during the week - and found out I was bored. I had nothing to do! No work during the week in the evenings? Home by 7p every night? No full day of work during the weekend?
What am I going to do with myself?!
For the first week or so, I came home and just plopped on the couch, bored. I was not used to this free time and felt helpless. My fiance tried to make suggestions: paint, read, play a game, clean, laundry, draw, go shoe shopping, suck his penis, etc etc. It was so weird: so many choices and I had no idea which one to pick.
It wasn't like any of them were the wrong choice, just that I wasn't used to have any choice at all. Faced with so many choices, I froze.
I haven't had a choice in a couple of years.
When I started this blog a year and a half or so ago, I spent my weekends writing 2-3 entries while my fiance was ignored for most of a Saturday. It became a problem so I pulled back and writing and the number of entries and my stats reflected that. The past eight or six months have been a dreadful pause on writing; but I, as one person, can only do so much.
And now that I'm in a new department, I can breathe again! Live again! I was speaking with a coworker about this and found myself saying, "Yeah, I have time for a hobby again" and I just stopped speaking. What's a hobby?
I cannot believe I've been living life of 60-70 hour work weeks for so long, I've given up on any sort of hobby. Or life.
I have (or will have) a life again! I have no idea what to do with all of this time -- but surely I will find a way to occupy myself, right?
Step one: catch up on blogging.
I had no idea it was going to be so life-changing for me. I didn't move desks or even titles. I just switched responsibilities and my life was free. The change wasn't immediately felt. It took weeks of transition and training to get to something new.... and there it was.
Free time.
Something I hadn't quite experienced at this level for more than two years.
Two years.
I knew my life was out of balance, but I had no idea just how much it was until I actually came home from work - during the week - and found out I was bored. I had nothing to do! No work during the week in the evenings? Home by 7p every night? No full day of work during the weekend?
What am I going to do with myself?!
For the first week or so, I came home and just plopped on the couch, bored. I was not used to this free time and felt helpless. My fiance tried to make suggestions: paint, read, play a game, clean, laundry, draw, go shoe shopping, suck his penis, etc etc. It was so weird: so many choices and I had no idea which one to pick.
It wasn't like any of them were the wrong choice, just that I wasn't used to have any choice at all. Faced with so many choices, I froze.
I haven't had a choice in a couple of years.
When I started this blog a year and a half or so ago, I spent my weekends writing 2-3 entries while my fiance was ignored for most of a Saturday. It became a problem so I pulled back and writing and the number of entries and my stats reflected that. The past eight or six months have been a dreadful pause on writing; but I, as one person, can only do so much.
And now that I'm in a new department, I can breathe again! Live again! I was speaking with a coworker about this and found myself saying, "Yeah, I have time for a hobby again" and I just stopped speaking. What's a hobby?
I cannot believe I've been living life of 60-70 hour work weeks for so long, I've given up on any sort of hobby. Or life.
I have (or will have) a life again! I have no idea what to do with all of this time -- but surely I will find a way to occupy myself, right?
Step one: catch up on blogging.
Monday, June 10, 2013
TMI Tuesday: Summer Lovin'
This week’s TMI Tuesday questions were submitted by virtualsin.wordpress.com
1. Do you have more sex or less when on vacation?Usually less. FHF and I have so far only been on "vacation" to visit family, and we usually stay with family. So, if there's any sex to be had it's in a hotel on the way or done very quietly (not so fun or easy for me to do). Now... should I get the opportunity to go away for a long weekend (or week) with him for complete leisure, what would happen? Lots of naked touching and sex.
More than normal? Hard to say, but I would venture to say yes.
2. Do you plan a vacation so that you will have an opportunity to have sex?
I wish. See number 1 above.
3. Have you ever planned a vacation in order to meet someone for sex?
Hmm. Kind of? When I met FHF, I had planned a trip to visit family and had him come and meet me in that city before we scurried away back to my home.
4. Have you ever gone on a singles’ cruise or some other hookup-facilitating vacation?
No. Not really interested in that.
5. Have you had sex on a means of transportation other than a car: bus, train, airplane, cruise ship?
*sob* none of the above!
6. Have you had outdoor sex on camping, hiking, skiing, boating vacation?
I've had outdoor hiking oral sex and winter skiing make-outs, but never the full sha-bang. I have this fantasy of under the moon sex and in the pouring rain sex.
Bonus: Do you pack sex toys, lubes (3.4 oz bottles or less), etc when you fly? Do you think about TSA finding them? Has TSA ever found them and questioned you about your sexual aids or displayed them? Tell us about it.
YES. I always bring my little silver bullet with me. It's small and fits in a nice plastic ziploc to prevent unwanted groping of wandering hands. I always remove the batteries so it doesn't turn on accidentally. So far, no one has noticed it. We normally don't bring lube as its just not a necessity for us.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Friday, June 7, 2013
New videos on MLNP
We posted our first videos on makelovenotporn.tv in February and March. This month, we've posted two more videos.
The first is called Seven Minutes of Heaven and it's my heaven: him eating my pussy through orgasms and body shaking and leg trembling. Our actual video was much longer than the 7 minutes we posted, but we had a technical glitch and it cut out about a minute before we both came. We thought we'd post a 7 minute video of me having multiple orgasms vs a 20 minute video of oral sex and lots of fucking - but no final climax. We like to tease, but not that much!
The second video is a reverse of our very first MLNP video. We're both standing and he fucks me over the bed, but this time we're both facing the camera! There is a lot of boob swinging and his fingers gripping my shoulders. And there might be some really good orgasms... and you can see our faces!
You can find us at www.makelovenotporn.tv/users/bilikesscifi to watch our videos and support us and MLNP.
The first is called Seven Minutes of Heaven and it's my heaven: him eating my pussy through orgasms and body shaking and leg trembling. Our actual video was much longer than the 7 minutes we posted, but we had a technical glitch and it cut out about a minute before we both came. We thought we'd post a 7 minute video of me having multiple orgasms vs a 20 minute video of oral sex and lots of fucking - but no final climax. We like to tease, but not that much!
The second video is a reverse of our very first MLNP video. We're both standing and he fucks me over the bed, but this time we're both facing the camera! There is a lot of boob swinging and his fingers gripping my shoulders. And there might be some really good orgasms... and you can see our faces!
You can find us at www.makelovenotporn.tv/users/bilikesscifi to watch our videos and support us and MLNP.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
TMI Tuesday: Tickle my funny bone
This week, I wrote the questions!
1. Have you ever laughed during sex? Tell us about it.
I remember saying something once when he was upright on his knees looking down at me. Whatever I said hit him just right and he collapsed next to me in a fit of laughter and giggles that lasted a couple of minutes. I have no memory of what I said, but the memory of him falling down - just WHAM! - on the bed laughing so hard is a favorite moment.
2. How important is a sense of humor to you?
SO important! I tend to be such a serious person, so I need someone who can really laugh with me when something is funny.
3. Have you ever thought something was funny when your lover did not? Tell us what it was…My fiance and I met online video gaming and used to do a lot of private in-game chatting while we were also chatting in public with other people. I also held the conversations in two separate "mini-screens" to prevent mix-up.... but he did not. Our friends were VERY curious to read him say in public chat: "I'm sure honey, I always got tested after each partner so I know I'm safe." and then another time: "Oh, I'd love to lick you all over."
I still laugh over that... and he still doesn't think its very funny. The explanations he had to give were hilarious. I played the part of an innocent party who was just as scandalized by the words since we hadn't gone public yet about our relationship.
4. Are pranks funny? Have you ever fallen victim to a prank? Tell us what happened.I love to prank! One year in college I used to trade pranks with a friend all the time. I stole his girly posters (you know, bikinis and the like) and replaced them with male Abercrombie&Fitch posters. He stole my shoes and hid the right shoe of each pair around campus. I stole his bike and made a bike porno with some friends (fully clothed, but still). He made me a potty-throne (since I'm so short) and put maggoty eggs in my room. Good times!
Pranks on lovers? My ex hated pranks... so when I stole his keys one day and replaced all of his books with romance novels, he was furious. We almost broke up over it. With my fiance I haven't pulled a major prank. We just joke around a lot.
5. What is your favorite kind of humor? (a complete list can be found at: http://www.dailywritingtips.com/20-types-and-forms-of-humor/
I'm a huge fan of the ironic and satirical humor set. I love events or situations turning on people. The world is so funny.... but I also love highbrow humor, droll, and anecdotal humor. Every once in a while I can tell the funniest stories about something that's happened to me. And then sometimes I tell it and it receives no response.
I prefer Douglas Adams to Adam Sandler EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR.
Bonus: Tell us an embarrassing and/or funny moment you experienced with a lover.
Funny moment: When I start to orgasm and get really loud, the cat will come running up to my face to check on me to make sure I'm ok. It's hilarious and completely changes the mood of the moment. We've started to just lock her out of the bedroom to prevent these interruptions. Apparently she's learned that and has started hiding in the room. A couple of weeks ago we were having sex and I started having multiple orgasms and was getting quite loud. All of a sudden we hear this muffled cat growl-meow of protest come from underneath the bed -- the meow of protest. "I can't do anything about this, but I don't like it."
We both stopped and started laughing so hard. I got up and opened the bedroom door and she made a very quick exit.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
1. Have you ever laughed during sex? Tell us about it.
I remember saying something once when he was upright on his knees looking down at me. Whatever I said hit him just right and he collapsed next to me in a fit of laughter and giggles that lasted a couple of minutes. I have no memory of what I said, but the memory of him falling down - just WHAM! - on the bed laughing so hard is a favorite moment.
2. How important is a sense of humor to you?
SO important! I tend to be such a serious person, so I need someone who can really laugh with me when something is funny.
3. Have you ever thought something was funny when your lover did not? Tell us what it was…My fiance and I met online video gaming and used to do a lot of private in-game chatting while we were also chatting in public with other people. I also held the conversations in two separate "mini-screens" to prevent mix-up.... but he did not. Our friends were VERY curious to read him say in public chat: "I'm sure honey, I always got tested after each partner so I know I'm safe." and then another time: "Oh, I'd love to lick you all over."
I still laugh over that... and he still doesn't think its very funny. The explanations he had to give were hilarious. I played the part of an innocent party who was just as scandalized by the words since we hadn't gone public yet about our relationship.
4. Are pranks funny? Have you ever fallen victim to a prank? Tell us what happened.I love to prank! One year in college I used to trade pranks with a friend all the time. I stole his girly posters (you know, bikinis and the like) and replaced them with male Abercrombie&Fitch posters. He stole my shoes and hid the right shoe of each pair around campus. I stole his bike and made a bike porno with some friends (fully clothed, but still). He made me a potty-throne (since I'm so short) and put maggoty eggs in my room. Good times!
Pranks on lovers? My ex hated pranks... so when I stole his keys one day and replaced all of his books with romance novels, he was furious. We almost broke up over it. With my fiance I haven't pulled a major prank. We just joke around a lot.
5. What is your favorite kind of humor? (a complete list can be found at: http://www.dailywritingtips.com/20-types-and-forms-of-humor/
I'm a huge fan of the ironic and satirical humor set. I love events or situations turning on people. The world is so funny.... but I also love highbrow humor, droll, and anecdotal humor. Every once in a while I can tell the funniest stories about something that's happened to me. And then sometimes I tell it and it receives no response.
I prefer Douglas Adams to Adam Sandler EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR.
Bonus: Tell us an embarrassing and/or funny moment you experienced with a lover.
Funny moment: When I start to orgasm and get really loud, the cat will come running up to my face to check on me to make sure I'm ok. It's hilarious and completely changes the mood of the moment. We've started to just lock her out of the bedroom to prevent these interruptions. Apparently she's learned that and has started hiding in the room. A couple of weeks ago we were having sex and I started having multiple orgasms and was getting quite loud. All of a sudden we hear this muffled cat growl-meow of protest come from underneath the bed -- the meow of protest. "I can't do anything about this, but I don't like it."
We both stopped and started laughing so hard. I got up and opened the bedroom door and she made a very quick exit.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Friday, May 17, 2013
We made some money!
Several months ago we posted two videos on MakeLoveNotPorn. We liked this project and wanted to support it for several reasons. We love that its a start-up (yay entrepreneurs!) that focuses on real world sex. A lot of porn (not all, but a LOT) is staged and artificial. A major reason I don't like porn is that the women are so often forgotten - they are there strictly to give pleasure, not be a part of it.
We love how MakeLoveNotPorn is more than just amateur porn. It's sex - just how it happens every day, whevere you film.
And a big bonus: it shares 50% of the profits with the submitters! These are paid out quarterly and we received our first payment a couple of weeks ago. We were pleasantly surprised that the amount was enough so we could fulfill our wish of buying a decent video camera (we've been using a 5 year old point and shoot).
Here's how we've spent our money:
60% on a video camera, tripod, and new SD memory card
13% on a new Wii game (Super Mario Bros) to play together
7% to charity or good causes (we chose Dildology.com for this quarter)
6% each to spend how we like (he chose a Skyrim extension, mine is TBD still)
5% to save for our wedding tour
4% to use on MakeLoveNotPorn to support other artists
We're so excited to do more. More videos and more real world sex to share. Stay tuned... more to come!
We love how MakeLoveNotPorn is more than just amateur porn. It's sex - just how it happens every day, whevere you film.
And a big bonus: it shares 50% of the profits with the submitters! These are paid out quarterly and we received our first payment a couple of weeks ago. We were pleasantly surprised that the amount was enough so we could fulfill our wish of buying a decent video camera (we've been using a 5 year old point and shoot).
Here's how we've spent our money:
60% on a video camera, tripod, and new SD memory card
13% on a new Wii game (Super Mario Bros) to play together
7% to charity or good causes (we chose Dildology.com for this quarter)
6% each to spend how we like (he chose a Skyrim extension, mine is TBD still)
5% to save for our wedding tour
4% to use on MakeLoveNotPorn to support other artists
We're so excited to do more. More videos and more real world sex to share. Stay tuned... more to come!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
The sweetest gesture (to a geek)
It's no secret we met video gaming. We're both gamers -- in our own way. He's much more experienced and varied in his choices of types of games and consoles. He loves variety whereas I'm much more focused - I tend to pick a game or two and play them to death. I'll play the same games for years before I'm ready to move on.
For us, gaming has been huge. We met role-playing in our video game. (I was his female character's mom... he used to type in group chat "MOMMY!!!!" whenever I logged in. I'd completely forgotten about this until he reminded me a couple of weeks ago.) When we moved in, we still played the same video game, this time across the room rather than across hundreds of miles.
We also branched out to Wii games (my console) and I tried to learn to play his Xbox. I'd never even picked up a controller and it was very frustrating to learn. I tried but we kept reverting to simpler Wii games out of my frustration. He continued to play Xbox solo.
I watched him play his Xbox. He told me about when he could afford the subscription and he would play Halo and how much he enjoyed playing and trash talking. It's not something I would ever be interested in (or even interested to hear) but I admired the skill that goes into something like that. It wasn't just the skill of playing... it was the excited passion you see when someone genuinely enjoys something. His eyes would light up.
Once I was watching him play solo and I remember seeing the "Killionaire" award flash across the screen. I didn't think much of it until I read in the news the next day how its the rarest title awarded in Halo 4 due to the difficulty of achieving it: 10 deaths in 36 seconds (each one within 4 seconds of the last). I asked him about it the next time I saw it pop across the screen. I would die to achieve that level of playing in a game I loved. To him, it was no big deal. It happened so often he'd stopped taking notice of it.
A couple of months ago, we were playing our favorite game together (Lord of the Rings Online, aka LOTRO, aka where we met) and I asked him how many points he had saved to buy an expansion that had recently come out. (For background: he was gifted a subscription last year that awards 500 points a month to be used in the store for content, bonuses, etc. Since we're tight on cash to spend on frivolous things like extra gaming content, we'd been saving these points to buy new content.)
It turns out, he'd been spending his points on other perks rather than saving them, so he couldn't buy the content and wouldn't have the points for another three months or so. I had just purchased the content with my saved points and was really disappointed. And a bit angry. We were supposed to be saving to play content together... and now we'd have three months of gaming where he couldn't join me in this new area.
It was a huge disappointment, but not the end of the world. Three months would pass quickly.
The next day when I came home from work, he asked if I wanted to join him in playing the new content. I had no idea what he was talking about - he couldn't afford it yesterday. I asked him what had changed.
He said, "I sold my Xbox."
It took a moment to sink in. "You did what!?"
"I sold my Xbox."
"But..... WHY?"
"So we could play together," he shrugged it off.
"But.... but... your Xbox! Honey... I never expected you to...or wanted you to..."
"I know. But we don't play it together and I'm not really interested in playing solo anymore and this way we get to do everything together. I didn't like how disappointed you were yesterday."
I had no words at this point. Tears in my eyes I just hugged him. What else could I do? He just sold something that had been one of his prized possessions in order to pay for gaming content we could play together.
It's the most romantic gesture I've ever heard of or received and I can't express the incredible love I have for a man to love me so much, he'll sell his Xbox to spend more time with me.
One day, I'm going to buy him a new one.
For us, gaming has been huge. We met role-playing in our video game. (I was his female character's mom... he used to type in group chat "MOMMY!!!!" whenever I logged in. I'd completely forgotten about this until he reminded me a couple of weeks ago.) When we moved in, we still played the same video game, this time across the room rather than across hundreds of miles.
We also branched out to Wii games (my console) and I tried to learn to play his Xbox. I'd never even picked up a controller and it was very frustrating to learn. I tried but we kept reverting to simpler Wii games out of my frustration. He continued to play Xbox solo.
I watched him play his Xbox. He told me about when he could afford the subscription and he would play Halo and how much he enjoyed playing and trash talking. It's not something I would ever be interested in (or even interested to hear) but I admired the skill that goes into something like that. It wasn't just the skill of playing... it was the excited passion you see when someone genuinely enjoys something. His eyes would light up.
Once I was watching him play solo and I remember seeing the "Killionaire" award flash across the screen. I didn't think much of it until I read in the news the next day how its the rarest title awarded in Halo 4 due to the difficulty of achieving it: 10 deaths in 36 seconds (each one within 4 seconds of the last). I asked him about it the next time I saw it pop across the screen. I would die to achieve that level of playing in a game I loved. To him, it was no big deal. It happened so often he'd stopped taking notice of it.
A couple of months ago, we were playing our favorite game together (Lord of the Rings Online, aka LOTRO, aka where we met) and I asked him how many points he had saved to buy an expansion that had recently come out. (For background: he was gifted a subscription last year that awards 500 points a month to be used in the store for content, bonuses, etc. Since we're tight on cash to spend on frivolous things like extra gaming content, we'd been saving these points to buy new content.)
It turns out, he'd been spending his points on other perks rather than saving them, so he couldn't buy the content and wouldn't have the points for another three months or so. I had just purchased the content with my saved points and was really disappointed. And a bit angry. We were supposed to be saving to play content together... and now we'd have three months of gaming where he couldn't join me in this new area.
It was a huge disappointment, but not the end of the world. Three months would pass quickly.
The next day when I came home from work, he asked if I wanted to join him in playing the new content. I had no idea what he was talking about - he couldn't afford it yesterday. I asked him what had changed.
He said, "I sold my Xbox."
It took a moment to sink in. "You did what!?"
"I sold my Xbox."
"But..... WHY?"
"So we could play together," he shrugged it off.
"But.... but... your Xbox! Honey... I never expected you to...or wanted you to..."
"I know. But we don't play it together and I'm not really interested in playing solo anymore and this way we get to do everything together. I didn't like how disappointed you were yesterday."
I had no words at this point. Tears in my eyes I just hugged him. What else could I do? He just sold something that had been one of his prized possessions in order to pay for gaming content we could play together.
It's the most romantic gesture I've ever heard of or received and I can't express the incredible love I have for a man to love me so much, he'll sell his Xbox to spend more time with me.
One day, I'm going to buy him a new one.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
TMI Tuesday: Navigating Sex
1. Answer Yes or No:
I Regret My First Kiss - yes.... only in that, it should have happened with someone else much earlier. Oddly enough, if I'd had the first kiss I should have, I would never have married my ex since I would have known what chemistry was. But I held off on the first kiss in the name of "saving it all for that special someone." Oh, the irony.
I Miss My First Love - no. We're still friends.
I Married My First Love - no.
I Loved Someone That Didn’t Love Me - no.
2. Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?
Other. And I made a little image to illustrate it. (We are the pink dot).
We started as monogamous, but we're heading more toward the polyamory side. I say 'we' even though its more like me. He is not interested in having extra relationships even though I'd be comfortable with him doing that. He is interested and supportive of me pursuing relationships with women as I'm not at all comfortable or able to be a swinger. We've discussed having additional male partners play with me and its something we'd both like to try. However, it would be more of a polyamorous connection than swinging as I need to have an emotional connection in order to have attraction and desire. I'm sure there's a better way to explain it, but I have no idea how that would be phrased.
3. Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!
It used to be C, but with my longer work hours and his early starts, its just not always feasible for us. Recently what we've done is cuddled as the horny one masturbated. This leaves about a 30% chance to mutual masturbation and/or sex anyway. I'm not sure if there's anything sexier than having your lover hold you while they masturbate.
4. Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, when they are there?
He only minds it if I wake him up from my moaning. And he never remembers it the next day, anyway. The most I get is him turning over to check on me, say a quick "You're naughty!" and he rolls back over.
5. Describe your typical sexual romp:
a. You are playful and tame
b. You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
c. You love trying new things and shocking your partner
I'd say we're a B here. We normally don't shock each other... we're a slut for each other and we know that.
Bonus: What was your best ever masturbation experience. Why was it the best? Describe.
Best ever? Impossible. I don't rate them and there's no way I could keep track of so many. Oh, I have a new favorite masturbation fantasy... but that will have to wait for a separate blog entry.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
I Regret My First Kiss - yes.... only in that, it should have happened with someone else much earlier. Oddly enough, if I'd had the first kiss I should have, I would never have married my ex since I would have known what chemistry was. But I held off on the first kiss in the name of "saving it all for that special someone." Oh, the irony.
I Miss My First Love - no. We're still friends.
I Married My First Love - no.
I Loved Someone That Didn’t Love Me - no.
2. Do you consider yourself monogamous or polyamorous or some other category which you will explain or define for us now?
Other. And I made a little image to illustrate it. (We are the pink dot).
We started as monogamous, but we're heading more toward the polyamory side. I say 'we' even though its more like me. He is not interested in having extra relationships even though I'd be comfortable with him doing that. He is interested and supportive of me pursuing relationships with women as I'm not at all comfortable or able to be a swinger. We've discussed having additional male partners play with me and its something we'd both like to try. However, it would be more of a polyamorous connection than swinging as I need to have an emotional connection in order to have attraction and desire. I'm sure there's a better way to explain it, but I have no idea how that would be phrased.
3. Your partner is in the mood for sex and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!
It used to be C, but with my longer work hours and his early starts, its just not always feasible for us. Recently what we've done is cuddled as the horny one masturbated. This leaves about a 30% chance to mutual masturbation and/or sex anyway. I'm not sure if there's anything sexier than having your lover hold you while they masturbate.
4. Does your partner mind if you masturbate, in bed, when they are there?
He only minds it if I wake him up from my moaning. And he never remembers it the next day, anyway. The most I get is him turning over to check on me, say a quick "You're naughty!" and he rolls back over.
5. Describe your typical sexual romp:
a. You are playful and tame
b. You have occasionally introduced a few things like outfits and toys
c. You love trying new things and shocking your partner
I'd say we're a B here. We normally don't shock each other... we're a slut for each other and we know that.
Bonus: What was your best ever masturbation experience. Why was it the best? Describe.
Best ever? Impossible. I don't rate them and there's no way I could keep track of so many. Oh, I have a new favorite masturbation fantasy... but that will have to wait for a separate blog entry.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Monday, May 13, 2013
Geek post: my computer
A post like the following is probably long overdue. I am a geek/nerdy girl --- how have I not talked about my awesome little computer yet!? Four years ago I built myself a computer. It was my first solo build and it was so much fun to select every piece and see it come together. I'd done a couple of builds prior to this for other people and had help. For this to be mine, it was going to be truly my own.
It all started with the case. The case is just like a perfect outfit, a perfect frame, or the perfect car design. It's all for show but its only purpose is to house the real masterpiece which may be hidden from view. I really hadn't thought of what I wanted in a case when I started looking. At first I considered going all flashy with LED lights and colors as I'd never owned my own desktop. Why not go the really fun way?
But then I saw a case in a size I wasn't aware it existed - a miniATX. It was small - just 9 inches tall, 10 inches wide, and 14 inches deep. It was made of red steel. I was in love.
Sure, things are VERY cramped on the inside, especially since I originally purchase a graphics card that took up two PCI Express 2.0 slots... I barely fit in my wireless card. Cords were crammed into every corner, one even pinching itself underneath the graphics card so it could just fit across the case for front USB support.
I didn't care. The whole thing was ridiculously small and cute, something I thought was perfect for a 5 foot geeky girl like myself who loves red. The outside is very simple. There's no LED lights or visible fans. Just a couple of buttons and USB slots.
After four years, I've done nothing but wipe the hard drives and re-load just to refresh the computer. Oh, and I upgraded from Windows XP to Windows 7. But finally, the need for an upgrade really came when my graphics card could not keep up with the gaming graphics and FPS that I needed (that's frames per second, NOT first person shooter). My game is LOTRO and running a 12 or 24 man raid as the tank while everyone is doing the robot is... well, not a very good way to make a good impression as a tank. I muddled my way through with a couple of tries and then gave up. It was just time to upgrade.
In my search for a new card, I came across one where the onboard fan looked a little bit like the Millennium Falcon. I was a bit swayed by this as I'm a huge Star Wars nerd and why shouldn't I want this graphics card!? (If you are just now discovering my love for Star Wars, you need to look at my May the 4th posts from this year and last year). Actually, for my price range it had everything I needed. And, well, the pics will tell you the rest...
And yes, the card can now handle those 12 mans. No more robot dancing in Middle Earth. Geek girl has saved herself once again!
It all started with the case. The case is just like a perfect outfit, a perfect frame, or the perfect car design. It's all for show but its only purpose is to house the real masterpiece which may be hidden from view. I really hadn't thought of what I wanted in a case when I started looking. At first I considered going all flashy with LED lights and colors as I'd never owned my own desktop. Why not go the really fun way?
But then I saw a case in a size I wasn't aware it existed - a miniATX. It was small - just 9 inches tall, 10 inches wide, and 14 inches deep. It was made of red steel. I was in love.
Sure, things are VERY cramped on the inside, especially since I originally purchase a graphics card that took up two PCI Express 2.0 slots... I barely fit in my wireless card. Cords were crammed into every corner, one even pinching itself underneath the graphics card so it could just fit across the case for front USB support.
I didn't care. The whole thing was ridiculously small and cute, something I thought was perfect for a 5 foot geeky girl like myself who loves red. The outside is very simple. There's no LED lights or visible fans. Just a couple of buttons and USB slots.
After four years, I've done nothing but wipe the hard drives and re-load just to refresh the computer. Oh, and I upgraded from Windows XP to Windows 7. But finally, the need for an upgrade really came when my graphics card could not keep up with the gaming graphics and FPS that I needed (that's frames per second, NOT first person shooter). My game is LOTRO and running a 12 or 24 man raid as the tank while everyone is doing the robot is... well, not a very good way to make a good impression as a tank. I muddled my way through with a couple of tries and then gave up. It was just time to upgrade.
In my search for a new card, I came across one where the onboard fan looked a little bit like the Millennium Falcon. I was a bit swayed by this as I'm a huge Star Wars nerd and why shouldn't I want this graphics card!? (If you are just now discovering my love for Star Wars, you need to look at my May the 4th posts from this year and last year). Actually, for my price range it had everything I needed. And, well, the pics will tell you the rest...
 |
| One of the best types of package to get in the mail! Newegg! |
 |
| Oooh. It says "Dragon" on it. It must be cool! |
 |
| A look inside my case with old graphics card, hidden behind all the wires! |
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| Old card, opposite view. Wires barely reach in some places! |
 |
| I may have overdone it on the RAM... |
 |
| It's shiny! |
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| Size comparison, old card to new. Isn't that red steel gorgeous? |
 |
| New card all snugly inside. Rumored to run graphics in 12 parsecs or less. |
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
He asked me a question
"Will you let my penis in your pussy?" was the question he asked when I had suggested a quick nap before our busy evening. I shouldn't be surprised at the question; he has asked me before work this morning and I'd had to say no as I was already running 40 minutes behind schedule.
"Yes," was my simple reply, and he beat me running into the bedroom.
"Strip! Woman." he commanded. I only giggled and pealed off my work clothes. We stood on opposite sides of the bed and looked at each other. He grabbed his balls and penis and shook them toward me. My hands cupped my boobs and bounced them toward him. He bit his lip in appreciation.
We climbed into bed and under the sheet, laying on our sides. One arm beneath each of our heads held hands at the top of the mattress. The other arm pulled us closer together, each one gently massaging the others back. Legs touched from thigh to toe. We started with light kisses. Lips that barely parted and kisses were soft and light. His lips parted more and his tongue swept across my lips gently in the way I had teased him this morning. I sighed and kissed deeper into him, sweeping my tongue into his mouth and sucking his bottom lip as I pulled away. He moaned as I returned to his bottom lip, sucking on it and gently biting it. He started to suck mine in return but I pulled away to kiss more of him. I closed my eyes and let my lips feel my way around his mouth. His lips are plumper than mine and I loved to kiss them.
His hands started wandering down towards my butt and then up to fondle my breast. He palmed my breast softly and then circled my nipple with his finger to make me shiver. His fingers traveled down my body to push apart my legs. I shifted to my back so his fingers could find their way to my waiting clit.
I watched his face as his fingers found their way to my wetness. I had wanted him since I saw his hard cock this morning and teased him with my parting kisses; his eyes grew wide at the discovery of just how wet I was. He only gave me a few strokes on my clit before getting up to enter me.
He knelt over my body and positioned his penis head at the entrance of my vagina, but he did not enter. First he kissed me some more, from my lips to my breasts. He took time to suck on each of my pointed nipples, watching me slightly arch into him. As he made his way back up my body, his dick entered me slightly.
He rocked back and forth gently, his penis barely entering with each thrust. I was wet enough for his whole cock, but he wasn't rushed. He savored each gentle thrust in me, barely increasing his depth. The slow movement teased my G-spot and I closed my eyes again in pleasure. His head rested on my breasts until his entire dick was in me. He paused and pushed up to stare into my eyes. His face was pinched in pleasure. It was the face that had only entered our sex life almost a year into our relationship; a face of more than pleasure, but pleasure, passion, lust, and the deepest love. Like the core of his feelings worn on his face for me. The face I see so often now, and love so much.
He now thrust deep into me and pulled out slowly. More pleasure from my G-spot and I told him he was going to make me squirt. He called me a squirting machine. I said it was his fault for turning me into that. He gladly accepted that responsibility, and sank his head back onto my breasts.
From below him, I pumped my hips, pushing out as I flexed up and into him, then squeezing his dick as I pulled away. He stopped moving and let me fuck him from below. I could feel my wetness surrounding him, this cushion between us that felt so good. His hands moved under my head to cradle me and he kissed me with urgency. He moaned into me as I fucked him a bit faster. His breath caught in his throat each time I almost pulled away.
He knelt before me and started fucking me hard and quick, where his balls slap me and his cock hits my cervix so I cry out with each fast strike. Pain and pleasure mixed; it felt good in such a strange blend of feeling. His body made a loud slapping noise as he fucked into me and I felt an orgasm start to build. One hand still cradling my head, he kissed me until my hands clutched his back as my orgasm built and I came, squeezing him with my pussy and my fingers on his shoulders. He paused deep in me as my body shook around him.
A few seconds of my body being tense while my body was flooded with pleasure. He felt my fingers relax, and resumed fucking me, hard and fast again. My orgasm was barely subsided and the pleasure was coursing through my veins. Feeling him moving inside me again, feeling my come pooling just outside my vagina, I screamed in pleasure. My eyes were shut as he fucked me into another orgasm.
This time my hips bucked and my back arched against him. My body was wild and thrashing. He stopped his rhythm again to watch me in my ectasy. I could feel my body, my vagina, moving around him. Squeezing him and feeling his hard girth in me just caused the waves of pleasure to continue to spread through me.
He started again soft and shallow. Shallow hitting that spot that, if I could relax the right way, I know would end in squirting. I forced my body to relax, focusing on breathing and moaning. Our faces were touching cheek to cheek but where our lips were almost next to each other. We were breathing and moaning in each others ears. I clawed at his back, I could feel it coming.
And squirt poured all over his dick. He felt the warm stream hit him and pour down his balls. His hands, still in my hair, grabbed tight. His hips no longer gave me shallow thrusts, but quick deep ones which cut off my squirt and then forced it from my body. He called my name and I clung to him.
He was overtaken by the moment and fucked me like he needed to. Fast, quick, deep, rough. It didn't take much to send him over the edge to his own orgasm in which he pushed in as deep as he could while I cried out at the invasion. He collapsed on my breasts and I held him. We cuddled for a few moments sharing contented sighs.
"Yes," was my simple reply, and he beat me running into the bedroom.
"Strip! Woman." he commanded. I only giggled and pealed off my work clothes. We stood on opposite sides of the bed and looked at each other. He grabbed his balls and penis and shook them toward me. My hands cupped my boobs and bounced them toward him. He bit his lip in appreciation.
We climbed into bed and under the sheet, laying on our sides. One arm beneath each of our heads held hands at the top of the mattress. The other arm pulled us closer together, each one gently massaging the others back. Legs touched from thigh to toe. We started with light kisses. Lips that barely parted and kisses were soft and light. His lips parted more and his tongue swept across my lips gently in the way I had teased him this morning. I sighed and kissed deeper into him, sweeping my tongue into his mouth and sucking his bottom lip as I pulled away. He moaned as I returned to his bottom lip, sucking on it and gently biting it. He started to suck mine in return but I pulled away to kiss more of him. I closed my eyes and let my lips feel my way around his mouth. His lips are plumper than mine and I loved to kiss them.
His hands started wandering down towards my butt and then up to fondle my breast. He palmed my breast softly and then circled my nipple with his finger to make me shiver. His fingers traveled down my body to push apart my legs. I shifted to my back so his fingers could find their way to my waiting clit.
I watched his face as his fingers found their way to my wetness. I had wanted him since I saw his hard cock this morning and teased him with my parting kisses; his eyes grew wide at the discovery of just how wet I was. He only gave me a few strokes on my clit before getting up to enter me.
He knelt over my body and positioned his penis head at the entrance of my vagina, but he did not enter. First he kissed me some more, from my lips to my breasts. He took time to suck on each of my pointed nipples, watching me slightly arch into him. As he made his way back up my body, his dick entered me slightly.
He rocked back and forth gently, his penis barely entering with each thrust. I was wet enough for his whole cock, but he wasn't rushed. He savored each gentle thrust in me, barely increasing his depth. The slow movement teased my G-spot and I closed my eyes again in pleasure. His head rested on my breasts until his entire dick was in me. He paused and pushed up to stare into my eyes. His face was pinched in pleasure. It was the face that had only entered our sex life almost a year into our relationship; a face of more than pleasure, but pleasure, passion, lust, and the deepest love. Like the core of his feelings worn on his face for me. The face I see so often now, and love so much.
He now thrust deep into me and pulled out slowly. More pleasure from my G-spot and I told him he was going to make me squirt. He called me a squirting machine. I said it was his fault for turning me into that. He gladly accepted that responsibility, and sank his head back onto my breasts.
From below him, I pumped my hips, pushing out as I flexed up and into him, then squeezing his dick as I pulled away. He stopped moving and let me fuck him from below. I could feel my wetness surrounding him, this cushion between us that felt so good. His hands moved under my head to cradle me and he kissed me with urgency. He moaned into me as I fucked him a bit faster. His breath caught in his throat each time I almost pulled away.
He knelt before me and started fucking me hard and quick, where his balls slap me and his cock hits my cervix so I cry out with each fast strike. Pain and pleasure mixed; it felt good in such a strange blend of feeling. His body made a loud slapping noise as he fucked into me and I felt an orgasm start to build. One hand still cradling my head, he kissed me until my hands clutched his back as my orgasm built and I came, squeezing him with my pussy and my fingers on his shoulders. He paused deep in me as my body shook around him.
A few seconds of my body being tense while my body was flooded with pleasure. He felt my fingers relax, and resumed fucking me, hard and fast again. My orgasm was barely subsided and the pleasure was coursing through my veins. Feeling him moving inside me again, feeling my come pooling just outside my vagina, I screamed in pleasure. My eyes were shut as he fucked me into another orgasm.
This time my hips bucked and my back arched against him. My body was wild and thrashing. He stopped his rhythm again to watch me in my ectasy. I could feel my body, my vagina, moving around him. Squeezing him and feeling his hard girth in me just caused the waves of pleasure to continue to spread through me.
He started again soft and shallow. Shallow hitting that spot that, if I could relax the right way, I know would end in squirting. I forced my body to relax, focusing on breathing and moaning. Our faces were touching cheek to cheek but where our lips were almost next to each other. We were breathing and moaning in each others ears. I clawed at his back, I could feel it coming.
And squirt poured all over his dick. He felt the warm stream hit him and pour down his balls. His hands, still in my hair, grabbed tight. His hips no longer gave me shallow thrusts, but quick deep ones which cut off my squirt and then forced it from my body. He called my name and I clung to him.
He was overtaken by the moment and fucked me like he needed to. Fast, quick, deep, rough. It didn't take much to send him over the edge to his own orgasm in which he pushed in as deep as he could while I cried out at the invasion. He collapsed on my breasts and I held him. We cuddled for a few moments sharing contented sighs.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Happy Star Wars Day!
May the Fourth be with you!
Last year for this date, I posted pic of us in Star Wars shirts and then teased you with my boobs. And this year, I'm taking a similar approach. Enjoy!
Last year for this date, I posted pic of us in Star Wars shirts and then teased you with my boobs. And this year, I'm taking a similar approach. Enjoy!
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| Peek of some booty. |
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| This image was FHF's idea. I like it. |
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
A letter to Ugly
Note: This letter, while in response to a post an anonymous post at Molly's Daily Kiss called I am Ugly, is something I think any woman may need to read at some point. This is to all of us, when we feel 'ugly.'
Dear Ugly,
You are not alone. You may feel alone, but that does not mean that you are alone in your experience. Despite the wide reaches of the internet, its still possible to feel very lonely. Please hear me out as a sister of your suffering.
You and I are very similar.
I am also overweight. You are nearly 50 lbs overweight, I am over 90 lbs according to the published BMI ranges for my height. It's not a fun place to be. Some days its hard to look in the mirror. Your fat jeans become your normal jeans. And then your new fat jeans are the next size up and you can't believe you've jumped another size. Getting back to where you were seems like a hard, dangerous road. It's long, lonely, and difficult.
I also have too much hair on my body. I have PCOS, which means I have way more testosterone in my body than a woman should. I pluck every day to keep my chin hair, neck hair, mustache hair, and eyebrow hairs in check. I don't do a good job at it. I hate it when my lover notices if I missed a hair. Sometimes my facial hair grows really long, just one long strand on my face that is invisible until my lover tries to brush it away only to realize its connected. I have a happy trail I have to shave away. I have so much pubic hair I have to shave or wax or I get rashes from all the hair and the sweat it retains from the day. If I don't shave my legs every day, you can see it. I have more underarm hair than my male lover. I have to pluck hair from my nipples. I have hair on my toes, so much so that both lovers in my life have called me "hobbit." I struggle every day with my hair.
I have ugly stretch marks all over my thighs and stomach from two periods of depression in my life where I gained weight so fast. Now they won't go away. If a swimsuit is humiliating, then a swimsuit with long stretch marks down your thighs is even more so, because I'd have to wear men's shorts to hide them. So I stopped swimming.
Like you, I had a lover who found my body useful for sex but found parts of it unattractive. He didn't want whole parts of me. The sex was awful and I dreaded it. He gave me compliments, but the words were flat, empty, and meaningless. They were tokens of something that wasn't there. I tried to call him on it, but it just caused problems.
So, Ugly, we are not that different. In some ways, we live and have lived the same life. But that is where the similarities end.
Unlike you, I do not think I am ugly. In fact, I've found that I'm a beautiful person. I'm more round that I'd like to be, but I have beautiful breasts (saggy though they may be as DDs) and a big ass (cellulite, hairy ass crack, and all). I may have lots of hair, but its a nice brown color where I don't remove it. My body is high maintenance. My skin is always dry and my scalp is flaky no matter what products I use. I just make the best of it.
But I like my body. I try to take care of it. Even though I'm overweight I won't give up trying to lose that weight, even if PCOS makes it harder for me.
I found confidence by looking in the mirror and making myself say one positive thing about myself ten times each day. Even now I look in the mirror and remind myself how pretty my eyes are. I joined twitter and blogging and saw that there were women whose bodies were similar to mine that many (not everyone) though was beautiful.
That's the beauty of this world. There are so many types of bodies with all sorts of features; everyone has an admirer. If you don't believe me, go browse porn or tumblr. The variety is greater than I ever imagined.
But here's the biggest difference between us: how you treat yourself and see yourself tells others how to treat you. It is not your fault that you lover and partner is a complete asshole when it comes to showing affection towards you. It is, however, your fault for letting it continue as long as it has.
Relationships have ups and downs and attraction and frequency of sex may change through the years, but there is never an excuse for a partner to not comfort you, not look after your emotional well being, and to make sure you are pursued and loved.
That is betrayal. You think that another could never find you attractive. You're doomed to a life alone and unwanted. Who doomed you to such a fate? There is no wicked witch in this lifetime. Only you could choose that future -- so why are you so resigned to take it? There is another option.
You can find a new future. It can be whatever you want. I broke off a 6 year marriage and 9 year relationship with my former lover. He was my first kiss, my first everything. He broke my heart. I was right there in your shoes, willing to live and die because I promised I would always stay. But what about his promise? Didn't he promise to love and cherish also? Isn't that promise just as broken when my heart is in pieces? Did I promise to stay with in unhappy, unfulfilled life no matter what? No.
You don't have to stay in this. You have a say in whatever happens to you. You can be resigned to your life of not being appreciated for who you are, but I promise you there is someone out there who would love you and appreciate you more for who you are. They would love every part of your body, flabby, fat, hairy, or not.
I certainly found one. And he loves every single hairy, flabby, stretched mark part of me. He loves those parts of me so much I've cried during sex from the powerful emotions.
And to think I almost never knew because I was almost too scared to think I deserved better.
You deserve better, too. You deserve more credit from yourself but just as importantly, you deserve better from your lover. I hope you find that confidence and that partner, whether its from your current husband or someone new.
All my support and cheerleading,
The other you
Dear Ugly,
You are not alone. You may feel alone, but that does not mean that you are alone in your experience. Despite the wide reaches of the internet, its still possible to feel very lonely. Please hear me out as a sister of your suffering.
You and I are very similar.
I am also overweight. You are nearly 50 lbs overweight, I am over 90 lbs according to the published BMI ranges for my height. It's not a fun place to be. Some days its hard to look in the mirror. Your fat jeans become your normal jeans. And then your new fat jeans are the next size up and you can't believe you've jumped another size. Getting back to where you were seems like a hard, dangerous road. It's long, lonely, and difficult.
I also have too much hair on my body. I have PCOS, which means I have way more testosterone in my body than a woman should. I pluck every day to keep my chin hair, neck hair, mustache hair, and eyebrow hairs in check. I don't do a good job at it. I hate it when my lover notices if I missed a hair. Sometimes my facial hair grows really long, just one long strand on my face that is invisible until my lover tries to brush it away only to realize its connected. I have a happy trail I have to shave away. I have so much pubic hair I have to shave or wax or I get rashes from all the hair and the sweat it retains from the day. If I don't shave my legs every day, you can see it. I have more underarm hair than my male lover. I have to pluck hair from my nipples. I have hair on my toes, so much so that both lovers in my life have called me "hobbit." I struggle every day with my hair.
I have ugly stretch marks all over my thighs and stomach from two periods of depression in my life where I gained weight so fast. Now they won't go away. If a swimsuit is humiliating, then a swimsuit with long stretch marks down your thighs is even more so, because I'd have to wear men's shorts to hide them. So I stopped swimming.
Like you, I had a lover who found my body useful for sex but found parts of it unattractive. He didn't want whole parts of me. The sex was awful and I dreaded it. He gave me compliments, but the words were flat, empty, and meaningless. They were tokens of something that wasn't there. I tried to call him on it, but it just caused problems.
So, Ugly, we are not that different. In some ways, we live and have lived the same life. But that is where the similarities end.
Unlike you, I do not think I am ugly. In fact, I've found that I'm a beautiful person. I'm more round that I'd like to be, but I have beautiful breasts (saggy though they may be as DDs) and a big ass (cellulite, hairy ass crack, and all). I may have lots of hair, but its a nice brown color where I don't remove it. My body is high maintenance. My skin is always dry and my scalp is flaky no matter what products I use. I just make the best of it.
But I like my body. I try to take care of it. Even though I'm overweight I won't give up trying to lose that weight, even if PCOS makes it harder for me.
I found confidence by looking in the mirror and making myself say one positive thing about myself ten times each day. Even now I look in the mirror and remind myself how pretty my eyes are. I joined twitter and blogging and saw that there were women whose bodies were similar to mine that many (not everyone) though was beautiful.
That's the beauty of this world. There are so many types of bodies with all sorts of features; everyone has an admirer. If you don't believe me, go browse porn or tumblr. The variety is greater than I ever imagined.
But here's the biggest difference between us: how you treat yourself and see yourself tells others how to treat you. It is not your fault that you lover and partner is a complete asshole when it comes to showing affection towards you. It is, however, your fault for letting it continue as long as it has.
Relationships have ups and downs and attraction and frequency of sex may change through the years, but there is never an excuse for a partner to not comfort you, not look after your emotional well being, and to make sure you are pursued and loved.
That is betrayal. You think that another could never find you attractive. You're doomed to a life alone and unwanted. Who doomed you to such a fate? There is no wicked witch in this lifetime. Only you could choose that future -- so why are you so resigned to take it? There is another option.
You can find a new future. It can be whatever you want. I broke off a 6 year marriage and 9 year relationship with my former lover. He was my first kiss, my first everything. He broke my heart. I was right there in your shoes, willing to live and die because I promised I would always stay. But what about his promise? Didn't he promise to love and cherish also? Isn't that promise just as broken when my heart is in pieces? Did I promise to stay with in unhappy, unfulfilled life no matter what? No.
You don't have to stay in this. You have a say in whatever happens to you. You can be resigned to your life of not being appreciated for who you are, but I promise you there is someone out there who would love you and appreciate you more for who you are. They would love every part of your body, flabby, fat, hairy, or not.
I certainly found one. And he loves every single hairy, flabby, stretched mark part of me. He loves those parts of me so much I've cried during sex from the powerful emotions.
And to think I almost never knew because I was almost too scared to think I deserved better.
You deserve better, too. You deserve more credit from yourself but just as importantly, you deserve better from your lover. I hope you find that confidence and that partner, whether its from your current husband or someone new.
All my support and cheerleading,
The other you
TMI Tuesday: Ifs, Ands, and Butts
1. If you had a magic beauty wand, what would you give yourself?
a. Shinier hair, hands down.
b. Glowing, soft skin–pass the moisturizer dude.
c. Brighter eyes, with no crows feet—I want to look less tired.
d. Nada. I love what I’ve got.
My answer to this is actually D. Of the choices above, I'm happy with all of those. I have shiny, healthy hair. My skin is pretty healthy and very soft. My eyes are still pretty young, and whatever lines or wrinkles I see are ones I wouldn't trade for anything. They're the XP of my life showing.
2. If you were spring cleaning your life what five things would you throw out?
First, my fear of taking risks.
Second, my regret over some recent friend drama. I regret it happened, but not the outcome. It was for the best.
Third, the nasty old carpet all over my house I really wish I could replace.
Fourth, my 30-mile one-way commute to work. I'm so tired of it.
Fifth, my need to please everyone but myself first.
3. If money were no object, what kind of house would you buy?
I'd buy a 3 bedroom with a large office that has a basement. Two car garage. Nice fenced yard with a deck or patio. Some wood burning fireplaces. Really, all of that sounds indulgent to a point. I've never lived in a super large house, but as a maid I've cleaned them and seen how "stuff" just takes over to fill space. No thank you!
4. Have you ever visited an erotic massage parlor AND had a happy ending?
I have not.... yet. It's on the bucket list and I'm super interested in making this happen.
Bonus: Using the handy chart, what is your butt type, spanked or not?
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
My answer to this is actually D. Of the choices above, I'm happy with all of those. I have shiny, healthy hair. My skin is pretty healthy and very soft. My eyes are still pretty young, and whatever lines or wrinkles I see are ones I wouldn't trade for anything. They're the XP of my life showing.
2. If you were spring cleaning your life what five things would you throw out?
First, my fear of taking risks.
Second, my regret over some recent friend drama. I regret it happened, but not the outcome. It was for the best.
Third, the nasty old carpet all over my house I really wish I could replace.
Fourth, my 30-mile one-way commute to work. I'm so tired of it.
Fifth, my need to please everyone but myself first.
3. If money were no object, what kind of house would you buy?
I'd buy a 3 bedroom with a large office that has a basement. Two car garage. Nice fenced yard with a deck or patio. Some wood burning fireplaces. Really, all of that sounds indulgent to a point. I've never lived in a super large house, but as a maid I've cleaned them and seen how "stuff" just takes over to fill space. No thank you!
4. Have you ever visited an erotic massage parlor AND had a happy ending?
I have not.... yet. It's on the bucket list and I'm super interested in making this happen.
Bonus: Using the handy chart, what is your butt type, spanked or not?
Well, FHF and I can't decide on which one, for either, so here's a pic of both. You can be the judge.
Spankification: Author of original types of butts poster unknown.
Types of Spanked Butts by Dioneo Daspanca, 2011
Types of Spanked Butts by Dioneo Daspanca, 2011
Well, FHF and I can't decide on which one, for either, so here's a pic of both. You can be the judge.
 |
| About 10 min after the spanking |
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
TMI Tuesday: Memorable Moments
What are your five (5) most memorable/amazing sexual moments?
I'm counting these down to the best sexual moment.
5. The first time I had an orgasm from oral sex. Um, yeah. I knew I was missing something, but when it happened for the first time, I was hooked (especially since he could make it happen again and again).
4. The first time I had more than 1 orgasm from masturbation. I had always been a one orgasm girl during masturbation. During the build-up, when pleasure was so high and it felt so amazing, I would tell myself I was going for at least two. I never did. Once the orgasm hit I was so satisfied and the drop from the peak of orgasm to resting was so big that I couldn't muster the desire to do it all over again. That is, until I started having phone sex with my fiance. During one of our first times he told me I was going to have more than one; he would walk me through it. We talked to each other, me describing what I was doing and how it felt. When I came, he listened to me orgasm. What felt like a few seconds of time post-orgasm he told me to do it again, fast. I trusted him and my fingers went after my clit -- BOOM. Second orgasm. Then third. And then he came, listening to me.
3. The first time we had sex. The whole night was amazing. He was so afraid that he was going to hurt me since I'd only had a little bit of boring sex with one person prior to him. He didn't hurt me. The first several months of our relationship he went very slow and very gentle on me. All I remember is how amazing it felt and how loving he was as he coached me through it.
2. Pegging my fiance and seeing the exquisite pleasure on his face when he came as I fucked against his prostate. He never comes as hard as he does when I hit that just right.
1. Having a partner acknowledge, affirm, and accept my bisexuality and encourage my full exploration of it.
Bonus: What is one quality you appreciate in a lover?
A good ear. You can tell all you need to know about how I'm enjoying something or where I'm at in my cycle of arousal just from listening. It doesn't happen immediately and it takes time, but once you know it, you can really make me come.
————
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
I'm counting these down to the best sexual moment.
5. The first time I had an orgasm from oral sex. Um, yeah. I knew I was missing something, but when it happened for the first time, I was hooked (especially since he could make it happen again and again).
4. The first time I had more than 1 orgasm from masturbation. I had always been a one orgasm girl during masturbation. During the build-up, when pleasure was so high and it felt so amazing, I would tell myself I was going for at least two. I never did. Once the orgasm hit I was so satisfied and the drop from the peak of orgasm to resting was so big that I couldn't muster the desire to do it all over again. That is, until I started having phone sex with my fiance. During one of our first times he told me I was going to have more than one; he would walk me through it. We talked to each other, me describing what I was doing and how it felt. When I came, he listened to me orgasm. What felt like a few seconds of time post-orgasm he told me to do it again, fast. I trusted him and my fingers went after my clit -- BOOM. Second orgasm. Then third. And then he came, listening to me.
3. The first time we had sex. The whole night was amazing. He was so afraid that he was going to hurt me since I'd only had a little bit of boring sex with one person prior to him. He didn't hurt me. The first several months of our relationship he went very slow and very gentle on me. All I remember is how amazing it felt and how loving he was as he coached me through it.
2. Pegging my fiance and seeing the exquisite pleasure on his face when he came as I fucked against his prostate. He never comes as hard as he does when I hit that just right.
1. Having a partner acknowledge, affirm, and accept my bisexuality and encourage my full exploration of it.
Bonus: What is one quality you appreciate in a lover?
A good ear. You can tell all you need to know about how I'm enjoying something or where I'm at in my cycle of arousal just from listening. It doesn't happen immediately and it takes time, but once you know it, you can really make me come.
————
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Video Clip: Doggie style with butt plug
So one day in February he plugged my ass and bent me over the bed for some DP-light. He filmed this because the view was so great -- and when I saw it when we were done, I knew I wanted to share it.
Prior to the start of the film, he had fucked doggie style until I squirted. Then he plugged me and got out the camera.... at the start of this clip, I've already had two or three orgasms, so I'm pretty euphoric from the start. Enjoy!
Doggie style with butt plug brought to you by PornHub
After the clip ends, he flipped me over and kept going, fingering my clit to orgasm before having me flip back onto my stomach for the big finish.
Prior to the start of the film, he had fucked doggie style until I squirted. Then he plugged me and got out the camera.... at the start of this clip, I've already had two or three orgasms, so I'm pretty euphoric from the start. Enjoy!
Doggie style with butt plug brought to you by PornHub
After the clip ends, he flipped me over and kept going, fingering my clit to orgasm before having me flip back onto my stomach for the big finish.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
The block revealed
Last year I started this blog for one reason: to document and share my sex life. I was on a journey of discovery. I'd gone from bland and boring to a whole rainbow of kink and that I had really wanted but never had experienced. I was so very happy and the words I wrote were practically bursting out of me. Writing took over my free time; all I wanted to do was write and share and discuss. I loved it so much.
And then life sped up and we fell into a rhythm. When I started the blog, we were four months from our first year anniversary. I'd already been on twitter for four months tweeting our sex life. Everything was new and exciting and I couldn't wait to write about it. We were so excited to reach that 1 year mark right about the same time I purchased my first home and we moved from an 800 sq ft apartment to a 2200 sq ft home.
Life sped up. There was so much to do and take care of. My job took over some of my free time; what I had left I spent mostly with my partner savoring the fantastic journey we were on.
Except life wasn't speeding up that much. My work was. Prior to Friday I've never heard of the term "speed up" before but when I read this article posted by Mother Jones, I finally connected and confirmed what I've been feeling.
I've made no secret of the challenge I've found at my work recently (even not so recently). In the past 14 months I've been promoted and told to assume the work of my old position and new position. I did this pretty well considering the task that was asked of me. But in doing so, I lost more than I feel I gained. Yes, the salary increase helped me finally afford the cost of owning a home - barely. But, what did I give in return? I gave up all of my Sundays from November through February with the exception of holiday weekends to working at least part of the day. I got so used to working 12 hours in the office its no longer unusual. My insomnia took over and working a full day on 3 hours sleep was normal and not a rare occasion.
I accomplished so much professionally that my personal life began to feel like a failure. He felt neglected (and he was). Our sex life went from 6 days a week to maybe 3 because I was so tired or too stressed to think about it. (For some that may not seem like a lot - but for us its been a big change.)
I worried about money. Free time. All the improvements needed to the house (it was in need of some serious TLC and still is in some areas). Bills. Blogging. Twitter. Sex toy reviews. Photos. When did I shave my legs last? I couldn't remember. Oh look, I forgot my sister's birthday. Over and over.
When I looked at my blog, I didn't know what to write. We've been so busy that our stories of "new" sex has fallen off a cliff and our sex life has normalized. It's not boring at all - not by a LONG shot... but for someone who wrote constantly about new sex experiences all the time, I felt like I had nothing to share. Most of the sex we have is him on top or mutual masturbation. It's awesome and hot and better than it was a year ago, but it seems harder to write for some reason.
I'm also self-defeating. When I get buried in one area, I feel buried everywhere else. At work I've been in survival mode for months and that feeling has carried over into real life. I'm irritable at home on the weekends because I'm stressing about what needs to be done at work or at home. I'm paralyzed by stress.
I compare myself to fellow bloggers... and I've forgotten what its like to even have time to write anymore.
And I worry about having the ability to even have a normal life. I've gone so far down this road of bending over and taking it from my employer, I have a very difficult road to climb up. They did hire a new employee in my department. He's above me in title and pay and I've been told not to expect anything to come off my plate. Great. I'll just work away then, wondering how I got fucked over so bad.
I've tried to talk to my boss, but I'm so stressed and so emotional over this that anytime I even consider talking about it I start tearing up. And approaching him in a blubbering mess of tears to a male boss who never asks about my workload aside from agreeing "yeah, we're all busy" seems counterproductive. Or is it? I'm so confused. I've never been someone to ask for less work. I'm known for my can-do attitude and approach.
But where's the line between can-do and should-do? I'm feeling I shouldn't do this... its ruining my life. But I'm so far down the rabbit hole I have no idea where to turn now.
So yes I'm a bit writer's blocked. I have about 15 posts in drafts in various stages of writing. I can't get them to completion or editing. Some don't even have complete sentences just ideas of "I need to write about this."
I just hope I can figure out a way to renegotiate my workload or find something better that allows me to retain that work/life balance I've completely lost.
And then life sped up and we fell into a rhythm. When I started the blog, we were four months from our first year anniversary. I'd already been on twitter for four months tweeting our sex life. Everything was new and exciting and I couldn't wait to write about it. We were so excited to reach that 1 year mark right about the same time I purchased my first home and we moved from an 800 sq ft apartment to a 2200 sq ft home.
Life sped up. There was so much to do and take care of. My job took over some of my free time; what I had left I spent mostly with my partner savoring the fantastic journey we were on.
Except life wasn't speeding up that much. My work was. Prior to Friday I've never heard of the term "speed up" before but when I read this article posted by Mother Jones, I finally connected and confirmed what I've been feeling.
I've made no secret of the challenge I've found at my work recently (even not so recently). In the past 14 months I've been promoted and told to assume the work of my old position and new position. I did this pretty well considering the task that was asked of me. But in doing so, I lost more than I feel I gained. Yes, the salary increase helped me finally afford the cost of owning a home - barely. But, what did I give in return? I gave up all of my Sundays from November through February with the exception of holiday weekends to working at least part of the day. I got so used to working 12 hours in the office its no longer unusual. My insomnia took over and working a full day on 3 hours sleep was normal and not a rare occasion.
I accomplished so much professionally that my personal life began to feel like a failure. He felt neglected (and he was). Our sex life went from 6 days a week to maybe 3 because I was so tired or too stressed to think about it. (For some that may not seem like a lot - but for us its been a big change.)
I worried about money. Free time. All the improvements needed to the house (it was in need of some serious TLC and still is in some areas). Bills. Blogging. Twitter. Sex toy reviews. Photos. When did I shave my legs last? I couldn't remember. Oh look, I forgot my sister's birthday. Over and over.
When I looked at my blog, I didn't know what to write. We've been so busy that our stories of "new" sex has fallen off a cliff and our sex life has normalized. It's not boring at all - not by a LONG shot... but for someone who wrote constantly about new sex experiences all the time, I felt like I had nothing to share. Most of the sex we have is him on top or mutual masturbation. It's awesome and hot and better than it was a year ago, but it seems harder to write for some reason.
I'm also self-defeating. When I get buried in one area, I feel buried everywhere else. At work I've been in survival mode for months and that feeling has carried over into real life. I'm irritable at home on the weekends because I'm stressing about what needs to be done at work or at home. I'm paralyzed by stress.
I compare myself to fellow bloggers... and I've forgotten what its like to even have time to write anymore.
And I worry about having the ability to even have a normal life. I've gone so far down this road of bending over and taking it from my employer, I have a very difficult road to climb up. They did hire a new employee in my department. He's above me in title and pay and I've been told not to expect anything to come off my plate. Great. I'll just work away then, wondering how I got fucked over so bad.
I've tried to talk to my boss, but I'm so stressed and so emotional over this that anytime I even consider talking about it I start tearing up. And approaching him in a blubbering mess of tears to a male boss who never asks about my workload aside from agreeing "yeah, we're all busy" seems counterproductive. Or is it? I'm so confused. I've never been someone to ask for less work. I'm known for my can-do attitude and approach.
But where's the line between can-do and should-do? I'm feeling I shouldn't do this... its ruining my life. But I'm so far down the rabbit hole I have no idea where to turn now.
So yes I'm a bit writer's blocked. I have about 15 posts in drafts in various stages of writing. I can't get them to completion or editing. Some don't even have complete sentences just ideas of "I need to write about this."
I just hope I can figure out a way to renegotiate my workload or find something better that allows me to retain that work/life balance I've completely lost.
Monday, March 4, 2013
My thoughts on penis size
All penis sizes are good.
There is no need for comparison. Your penis is your own. Live it. Embrace it. Love it.
Small penis, big penis, fat penis, thick penis, short penis, skinny penis, curved penis, straight penis, flaccid penis, turgid penis, twitching penis, long penis, veiny penis, circumcised penis, uncircumsized penis, black penis, white penis, hispanic penis, Indian penis, average penis, below average penis, above average penis, record breaking penis, tiny penis, huge penis, pinky penis, soda can penis... it's all good penis!
Don't worry about yours compared to his or his or his or hers. You can't change your penis -- so why are you worried about it? It's your penis - learn how to work it.
Here's the big secret: confidence in your penis is sexier than the measurements of your penis. Each woman and man is different. Own what you have.
My fiance loves penises in all sizes and shapes. He loves penis.
For the love of your penis: go jerk one off and remember that its YOUR penis. Love your penis, please.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Sex Words A-Z
Some words are inherently sexy, or just make me think of sex. Here's my list:
Adam's Apple. My first thought was "ass" but it seemed obvious. An Adam's Apple is such a masculine part of the body. I love watching them move and listening to the deep timbre of someone's voice.
Booty. I love this word because its sex-positive. Words like "butt" and "ass" can have both negative and positive connotations.... but booty? It's full of positive thinking. Booty is always a compliment.
Cunt. How could I not use this word? I love it. Its powerful and offensive. But why? How is it any different than vagina or pussy other then it's one of society's most feared words - beyond even the f word. Cunt. CUNT. LICK IT.
Daddy. Sometimes, I like to call him Daddy. It makes him want to bend me over and fuck me.
Eros. Erotic love and passion. If you don't have it, you know its missing. I missed it for years, and when I found it.... I've never let go.
French lace. What is it about things being French that make them sexier than their otherwise-sourced comparatives? I would love to own a French lace bra and panty set.
Generosity. Give me a partner who wants to give me orgasm after orgasm, past the point which I think I can handle, and show me new limits of mulitple O's, and I will try to be just as generous.
Hole. Find one. Use it.
Intimacy. The ability to say exactly what you're thinking to your partner. So valuable, and
Jerk off. I love to watch a man play with his own penis. Sometimes its like watching a child play with his favorite toy. Only the play ends in an orgasm and he's so addicted he can't stop.
Kink. It's only weird the first time.
Love. For me, it makes sex a possibility. For him, it makes it so much better than without. The more love, the better the sex.
Mound. I love the pussy mound, how it raises up with your pubic bone. I love how it feels when you massage it with your hand.
Nipple. When he sucks mine, I feel like the most loved woman in the world. It's so intimate.
Orgasm. It's not the end-all, be-all of sex. It's great, but if you're having sex for the orgasm you might be doing it wrong.
Penis. Because God has a sense of humor. From an observational standpoint, they are equal parts hilarious, gorgeous, and pure sex.
Queening stool. One of the most brilliant pieces of furniture ever invented. I need one!
Record. I never though recording ourselves and then watching it would be so fucking HOT.
Silicone. I know more about this material than I ever thought I would, thanks for my interest in body-safe sex toys.
Testosterone. As a PCOS woman, I have way too much. Thankful I have a partner who understands the consequences of that.
Uvula. The way your mouth moves when you say this word reminds me of sex... kind of how your lips form during a blow job. Uuuuvuuuulaaaaa.
Virginity. Highly, highly over-rated.
Wrap. I love to wrap myself around him. Arms and legs, entwining myself.
X-ray. Several times for overseas trips I've had to get a chest x-ray... and you can totally see my boobs on the x-ray. The nice rounded bottom swoops of my boobs... displayed to any doctor or tech who reviews it. I felt so exposed.
Yoni. I really want a yoni massage. Lately, when I look at porn, it's what I look for.
Zero. The number of times you should fake orgasms. Just be honest.
Note: this post is an entry into Beck's Asian Leather Ball Gag Giveaway. Go and check out the other entries and take an opportunity to enter yourself.
Adam's Apple. My first thought was "ass" but it seemed obvious. An Adam's Apple is such a masculine part of the body. I love watching them move and listening to the deep timbre of someone's voice.
Booty. I love this word because its sex-positive. Words like "butt" and "ass" can have both negative and positive connotations.... but booty? It's full of positive thinking. Booty is always a compliment.
Cunt. How could I not use this word? I love it. Its powerful and offensive. But why? How is it any different than vagina or pussy other then it's one of society's most feared words - beyond even the f word. Cunt. CUNT. LICK IT.
Daddy. Sometimes, I like to call him Daddy. It makes him want to bend me over and fuck me.
Eros. Erotic love and passion. If you don't have it, you know its missing. I missed it for years, and when I found it.... I've never let go.
French lace. What is it about things being French that make them sexier than their otherwise-sourced comparatives? I would love to own a French lace bra and panty set.
Generosity. Give me a partner who wants to give me orgasm after orgasm, past the point which I think I can handle, and show me new limits of mulitple O's, and I will try to be just as generous.
Hole. Find one. Use it.
Intimacy. The ability to say exactly what you're thinking to your partner. So valuable, and
Jerk off. I love to watch a man play with his own penis. Sometimes its like watching a child play with his favorite toy. Only the play ends in an orgasm and he's so addicted he can't stop.
Kink. It's only weird the first time.
Love. For me, it makes sex a possibility. For him, it makes it so much better than without. The more love, the better the sex.
Mound. I love the pussy mound, how it raises up with your pubic bone. I love how it feels when you massage it with your hand.
Nipple. When he sucks mine, I feel like the most loved woman in the world. It's so intimate.
Orgasm. It's not the end-all, be-all of sex. It's great, but if you're having sex for the orgasm you might be doing it wrong.
Penis. Because God has a sense of humor. From an observational standpoint, they are equal parts hilarious, gorgeous, and pure sex.
Queening stool. One of the most brilliant pieces of furniture ever invented. I need one!
Record. I never though recording ourselves and then watching it would be so fucking HOT.
Silicone. I know more about this material than I ever thought I would, thanks for my interest in body-safe sex toys.
Testosterone. As a PCOS woman, I have way too much. Thankful I have a partner who understands the consequences of that.
Uvula. The way your mouth moves when you say this word reminds me of sex... kind of how your lips form during a blow job. Uuuuvuuuulaaaaa.
Virginity. Highly, highly over-rated.
Wrap. I love to wrap myself around him. Arms and legs, entwining myself.
X-ray. Several times for overseas trips I've had to get a chest x-ray... and you can totally see my boobs on the x-ray. The nice rounded bottom swoops of my boobs... displayed to any doctor or tech who reviews it. I felt so exposed.
Yoni. I really want a yoni massage. Lately, when I look at porn, it's what I look for.
Zero. The number of times you should fake orgasms. Just be honest.
Note: this post is an entry into Beck's Asian Leather Ball Gag Giveaway. Go and check out the other entries and take an opportunity to enter yourself.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
He spanked me til I cried
"We need a safeword."
"Ok. Pick one."
"I can't think of anything! I'm nervous."
"Well, you need to pick so you'll remember it."
"Ok." My heart was pounding. I'd never picked a safeword for myself. I don't allow myself to be vulnerable like that. But I had asked for this, and I wanted it.
Safeword chosen, I stripped and laid face down on the bed. I peeked up at him.
He had the riding crop in his hand. Oh. So not open palm like we've tried before. Instead of widespread pain like I had only experienced one other time, this was to be a series of sharp, stinging, small painful hits. I hadn't thought about this.
"Relax." Yeah, like that was going to happen. I tried not to tense my body. I held my face in my hands and waited.
He knelt on the bed beside me, crop in hand. There was no warning, just a light swish of air as the crop hit my right butt cheek. My body flinched. He hadn't hit very hard, but hard enough to cross the line to a little bit of pain. He didn't wait too long before the next hit on my left cheek. He alternated between hits and watched my body do little flinches of surprised, painful response.
I hoped he wouldn't tell me not to flinch. I wasn't ready for that yet.
The hits started to come harder. Most of the time he alternated cheeks, but randomly he would strike the same cheek, in what felt like the same spot, and it would hurt. A lot. I let my whimpers and moans be heard. But I knew this only spurred him on.
The slaps of the crop stung and left my skin with this warming feeling. I was no longer worrying about whether or not to control my flinching. It was out of the question. He wasn't waiting for me to settle down or prepare for the next. It was already happening before the sting of the first stopped.
He paused a moment to kiss my red cheeks. "So beautiful," he breathed against my skin. "So warm." My breath shuddered. He resumed spanking me with the crop.
My hands gripped my head, pulling slightly at my hair. I bit my lip and tried to breath through the pain. He made my spread my legs and hit my ass near my inner upper thigh. I howled with pain after two sharp hits. I pulled my legs shut, so happy I hadn't suggested restraints. I couldn't handle many blows like that.
With my legs closed, he returned to my ass and started hitting three sharp whacks to the same spot, and then changing. It hurt so bad my whole body started twisting away from him in pain. Tears started falling down my cheeks; I've never started crying so fast.
I heard him jerking off with his free hand. He liked it so much. In a frenzy of emotions, I tried to process how I was letting this happen, why I had asked for this, how he could be turned on by it, and just how I knew that my cries and tears (definitely audible to him) would all turn him on more than I probably wanted to know.
He made me spin away from him several more times. He didn't always let me get back to laying on my stomach before he hit me again. I cried and yelled my pain. The tears helped me through it.
Finally, he stopped and I was happy. I'd almost used the safeword, but now that it was over I was happy I had endured. Happy despite the pain and falling tears.
I'd never felt so vulnerable. I laid there as he put the crop away and I continued crying. So many emotions that I couldn't understand were washing through me.
He returned to the bed and laid beside me, one hand stroking my hair and the other holding my hands in his. He was so gentle. I was so raw and tender and he looked on me with such love. I don't remember what he said. He comforted me, held me, and supported me.
He let me cry my tears. He soothed me and held me as the emotions slowly evaporated away. I ended up laying on his chest, resting. Eventually, I asked about how much he had enjoyed spanking me and hearing me cry. He hadn't come, but his continued boner told me how much he was still turned on.
I laid on his chest as he jerked off. He held my head against him and told me how beautiful I was and how he wanted to do it again.
"Ok. Pick one."
"I can't think of anything! I'm nervous."
"Well, you need to pick so you'll remember it."
"Ok." My heart was pounding. I'd never picked a safeword for myself. I don't allow myself to be vulnerable like that. But I had asked for this, and I wanted it.
Safeword chosen, I stripped and laid face down on the bed. I peeked up at him.
He had the riding crop in his hand. Oh. So not open palm like we've tried before. Instead of widespread pain like I had only experienced one other time, this was to be a series of sharp, stinging, small painful hits. I hadn't thought about this.
"Relax." Yeah, like that was going to happen. I tried not to tense my body. I held my face in my hands and waited.
He knelt on the bed beside me, crop in hand. There was no warning, just a light swish of air as the crop hit my right butt cheek. My body flinched. He hadn't hit very hard, but hard enough to cross the line to a little bit of pain. He didn't wait too long before the next hit on my left cheek. He alternated between hits and watched my body do little flinches of surprised, painful response.
I hoped he wouldn't tell me not to flinch. I wasn't ready for that yet.
The hits started to come harder. Most of the time he alternated cheeks, but randomly he would strike the same cheek, in what felt like the same spot, and it would hurt. A lot. I let my whimpers and moans be heard. But I knew this only spurred him on.
The slaps of the crop stung and left my skin with this warming feeling. I was no longer worrying about whether or not to control my flinching. It was out of the question. He wasn't waiting for me to settle down or prepare for the next. It was already happening before the sting of the first stopped.
He paused a moment to kiss my red cheeks. "So beautiful," he breathed against my skin. "So warm." My breath shuddered. He resumed spanking me with the crop.
My hands gripped my head, pulling slightly at my hair. I bit my lip and tried to breath through the pain. He made my spread my legs and hit my ass near my inner upper thigh. I howled with pain after two sharp hits. I pulled my legs shut, so happy I hadn't suggested restraints. I couldn't handle many blows like that.
With my legs closed, he returned to my ass and started hitting three sharp whacks to the same spot, and then changing. It hurt so bad my whole body started twisting away from him in pain. Tears started falling down my cheeks; I've never started crying so fast.
I heard him jerking off with his free hand. He liked it so much. In a frenzy of emotions, I tried to process how I was letting this happen, why I had asked for this, how he could be turned on by it, and just how I knew that my cries and tears (definitely audible to him) would all turn him on more than I probably wanted to know.
He made me spin away from him several more times. He didn't always let me get back to laying on my stomach before he hit me again. I cried and yelled my pain. The tears helped me through it.
Finally, he stopped and I was happy. I'd almost used the safeword, but now that it was over I was happy I had endured. Happy despite the pain and falling tears.
I'd never felt so vulnerable. I laid there as he put the crop away and I continued crying. So many emotions that I couldn't understand were washing through me.
He returned to the bed and laid beside me, one hand stroking my hair and the other holding my hands in his. He was so gentle. I was so raw and tender and he looked on me with such love. I don't remember what he said. He comforted me, held me, and supported me.
He let me cry my tears. He soothed me and held me as the emotions slowly evaporated away. I ended up laying on his chest, resting. Eventually, I asked about how much he had enjoyed spanking me and hearing me cry. He hadn't come, but his continued boner told me how much he was still turned on.
I laid on his chest as he jerked off. He held my head against him and told me how beautiful I was and how he wanted to do it again.
 |
| Taken after he had jacked off. Still a little pink. |
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Just another day
It's Valentine's Day... and we really don't care.
Last year was our first Valentine's Day together, I told him that if he did ANYTHING for this day, it would end up in a fight and a major problem for not listening to me. The first time I told him, he said OK. And then after a moment's pause, he asked, "Wait... you're not doing that woman thing where you say you don't want anything, but if I don't, you'll get mad at me, right?"
"What do you think?"
"Well, you're not like that, but I'm just checking."
"I'm 100% serious. You give me anything to make this day different than any other day, you will be in big trouble."
Smart guy, he listened and the day was like no other.
I've always been this way. Growing up, I hated this day. The stupid little cards you gave to every person in your class so no one would be left out were so meaningless. What was a "valentine," anyway to a third grader? I remember one year the teacher said that giving Valentines were optional. I chose not to bring any - and I was the ONLY student in my class of 25 who didn't bring any. I felt embarrassed and mad. Signing your name to a card didn't mean you felt any one way about me. It was a stupid tradition with no point.
Every year, my mom made the day special. Every year she gave us each a personalized card and a little gift. There was always chocolate, but there was always a gift telling us how she loved and appreciated my sister and I. It was special appreciation for us as daughters. While I hated the commercialism of the day, I loved and looked forward to her gifts. She made the day special for us.
But romantic interests? In grade school it was out of place and awkward. I received one Valentine in high school from my long-distance quasi-boyfriend. It was sweet, but unnecessary. I hadn't expected it and appreciated the gesture.
All I heard about the dreaded V-day was failed expectations, sickening displays of affection that came wrapped in Made in China teddy bears and cheap chocolate candy. I just didn't care or what any part of it.
If you love me, show me every day. Make dates. Be romantic randomly. Make an effort to make any day special for us. I don't need chalky candy hearts or red and gold heart-shaped boxes to tell me how you feel. If that's the only way or time you do, we have problems.
There's no point to celebrating this mother of all fake holidays other than to support cheap manufacturing and overly sentimental romantic whims. Growing up I saw huge expectations women placed on men based on movies and media, and men hopelessly trying to figure out what to do. What was the point of this?
I can't see one. So for us, today is just a normal day. Like the other 364 or 365 days of the year, we'll do our best to further our relationship, show our love, support one another, and each take opportunities to be romantic.
Oh, and he couldn't be happier about this viewpoint. He's had the awful expectations placed on him by ex-girlfriends who wanted him to figure it out and then have it blow up in his face when it wasn't quite what they expected or wanted. He's had girls say its no big deal and then it is because, well, it's the most special day of love, how could he be so inconsiderate? So, to say the least, he's very happy.
Last year was our first Valentine's Day together, I told him that if he did ANYTHING for this day, it would end up in a fight and a major problem for not listening to me. The first time I told him, he said OK. And then after a moment's pause, he asked, "Wait... you're not doing that woman thing where you say you don't want anything, but if I don't, you'll get mad at me, right?"
"What do you think?"
"Well, you're not like that, but I'm just checking."
"I'm 100% serious. You give me anything to make this day different than any other day, you will be in big trouble."
Smart guy, he listened and the day was like no other.
I've always been this way. Growing up, I hated this day. The stupid little cards you gave to every person in your class so no one would be left out were so meaningless. What was a "valentine," anyway to a third grader? I remember one year the teacher said that giving Valentines were optional. I chose not to bring any - and I was the ONLY student in my class of 25 who didn't bring any. I felt embarrassed and mad. Signing your name to a card didn't mean you felt any one way about me. It was a stupid tradition with no point.
Every year, my mom made the day special. Every year she gave us each a personalized card and a little gift. There was always chocolate, but there was always a gift telling us how she loved and appreciated my sister and I. It was special appreciation for us as daughters. While I hated the commercialism of the day, I loved and looked forward to her gifts. She made the day special for us.
But romantic interests? In grade school it was out of place and awkward. I received one Valentine in high school from my long-distance quasi-boyfriend. It was sweet, but unnecessary. I hadn't expected it and appreciated the gesture.
All I heard about the dreaded V-day was failed expectations, sickening displays of affection that came wrapped in Made in China teddy bears and cheap chocolate candy. I just didn't care or what any part of it.
If you love me, show me every day. Make dates. Be romantic randomly. Make an effort to make any day special for us. I don't need chalky candy hearts or red and gold heart-shaped boxes to tell me how you feel. If that's the only way or time you do, we have problems.
There's no point to celebrating this mother of all fake holidays other than to support cheap manufacturing and overly sentimental romantic whims. Growing up I saw huge expectations women placed on men based on movies and media, and men hopelessly trying to figure out what to do. What was the point of this?
I can't see one. So for us, today is just a normal day. Like the other 364 or 365 days of the year, we'll do our best to further our relationship, show our love, support one another, and each take opportunities to be romantic.
Oh, and he couldn't be happier about this viewpoint. He's had the awful expectations placed on him by ex-girlfriends who wanted him to figure it out and then have it blow up in his face when it wasn't quite what they expected or wanted. He's had girls say its no big deal and then it is because, well, it's the most special day of love, how could he be so inconsiderate? So, to say the least, he's very happy.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
TMI Tuesday: Fantasy & Role Play
1. To spice things up in the bedroom, how adventurous are you willing to be? (select one)
a. I have never role-played before and will need a lot of instruction.
b. I have tested the waters, but never acted out anything scripted.
c. I have got my feet wet and want more!
d. Dive in head first – nothing is too deep.
Hmm. For me I think the answer is B. I've never role-played before FHF* and our role-play has been somewhat limited. I've loved what we've done so far, but it certainly hasn't been much and I feel very much like a n00b doing it.
2. What scenario peaks your interest most? Why?
a. Romantic and sensual
b. Playful and fun
c. Kinky! I want it all.
C. C. C. C. C! Romance is great, but its just not us. We don't role-play romance, it happens naturally when it does. For B, I think anything we do is somewhat playful and fun. But kink - we are always up for some kink. And anything we role-play is definitely kinky.
3. Which of these is closest to your ideal setting for a fantasy?
a. A brothel
b. A dungeon
c. A bedroom
d. A prison cell
C. Believe it or not, we keep things in a bedroom setting. The others seem interesting, but we've just haven't been there yet. Oh... the question was idealsetting. Well then, I'd say A or B.
4. Which of the following toys would be prominently featured in your fantasy? (select one)
a. Feathers and whipped cream
b. Handcuffs, panty hose, and a necktie
c. Whips and chains
d. Ice cubes and a cold beer
C. We're fans of punishment.... although B might make an interesting rape play.
5. It is time to take your sexy self to fantasy island, which fantasy will you bring to life to rock your lover’s world?
a. The Sassy Sexy Jersey Whore. Gaudy, Flashy, Showy…totally Jersey!
b. Kinky Cook. It’s all about the spice! Heating things up in the kitchen.
c. Naughty Maid. Your feather duster will tickle more than just the dust on the shelves.
d. Doctor Love. Saving lives and breaking hearts but not before you administer a head-to-toe physical examination.
e. Frisky Fireman. A hose so long you can put out several of the hottest fires and leave a smoldering heap as proof of a job well done.
Well, considering we already have a video of B (that happens on a regular basis), I'm going to add in C as a fantasy to bring to life. I wouldn't use a feather duster, but I'd be sure to be taken advantage of and just unable to resist the charms of the guest.
Bonus: Tell us about your craziest or wildest role-playing adventure.
I don't think we've done anything exceptionally wild or crazy. We're much higher on the kink level... like doing a hentai-esque brother-sister role-play. And that's all I'm going to say about that.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
*FHF = Fucking Hot Fiance
a. I have never role-played before and will need a lot of instruction.
b. I have tested the waters, but never acted out anything scripted.
c. I have got my feet wet and want more!
d. Dive in head first – nothing is too deep.
Hmm. For me I think the answer is B. I've never role-played before FHF* and our role-play has been somewhat limited. I've loved what we've done so far, but it certainly hasn't been much and I feel very much like a n00b doing it.
2. What scenario peaks your interest most? Why?
a. Romantic and sensual
b. Playful and fun
c. Kinky! I want it all.
C. C. C. C. C! Romance is great, but its just not us. We don't role-play romance, it happens naturally when it does. For B, I think anything we do is somewhat playful and fun. But kink - we are always up for some kink. And anything we role-play is definitely kinky.
3. Which of these is closest to your ideal setting for a fantasy?
a. A brothel
b. A dungeon
c. A bedroom
d. A prison cell
C. Believe it or not, we keep things in a bedroom setting. The others seem interesting, but we've just haven't been there yet. Oh... the question was idealsetting. Well then, I'd say A or B.
4. Which of the following toys would be prominently featured in your fantasy? (select one)
a. Feathers and whipped cream
b. Handcuffs, panty hose, and a necktie
c. Whips and chains
d. Ice cubes and a cold beer
C. We're fans of punishment.... although B might make an interesting rape play.
5. It is time to take your sexy self to fantasy island, which fantasy will you bring to life to rock your lover’s world?
a. The Sassy Sexy Jersey Whore. Gaudy, Flashy, Showy…totally Jersey!
b. Kinky Cook. It’s all about the spice! Heating things up in the kitchen.
c. Naughty Maid. Your feather duster will tickle more than just the dust on the shelves.
d. Doctor Love. Saving lives and breaking hearts but not before you administer a head-to-toe physical examination.
e. Frisky Fireman. A hose so long you can put out several of the hottest fires and leave a smoldering heap as proof of a job well done.
Well, considering we already have a video of B (that happens on a regular basis), I'm going to add in C as a fantasy to bring to life. I wouldn't use a feather duster, but I'd be sure to be taken advantage of and just unable to resist the charms of the guest.
Bonus: Tell us about your craziest or wildest role-playing adventure.
I don't think we've done anything exceptionally wild or crazy. We're much higher on the kink level... like doing a hentai-esque brother-sister role-play. And that's all I'm going to say about that.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
*FHF = Fucking Hot Fiance
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
TMI Tuesday: The Erotic Home
SinnerMan strikes again! This week’s questions are brought to you by virtualsin.wordpress.com.
1. When you bought your bed frame, did you evaluate it in terms of ropes, handcuffs, etc?YES. A thousand times yes. I have to say, I made the right choice, no? (And this was purchased prior to the FHF*). So many options...
 |
| Possibilities are endless! |
2. Aside from beds, was sex ever a major consideration in choosing a piece of furniture?
Of course! When we purchased our large leather ottoman, we whispered to each other in the store how good it would be for sex. And it has been.
3. Have you ever had anyone else (friend, mom) say a piece of your furniture was inappropriate because it was clearly for sexual purposes?
No, mostly because I don't have any friends or family over. We're too far away from everyone. So... I guess we need new friends!
4. Do you have a piece of furniture that has a stain caused by bodily fluids (baby vomit not included)?
Yes. My mattress was 5 years old and spotless before the FHF. Six months after learning how to squirt and its stained everywhere... we finally invested in a waterproof mattress pad, but the damage has been done. Aside from that, no, I try to be very careful about that.
5. Do you have anything in your bedside table you wouldn’t want your father or mother to know about?
I'm on the fence about this. Honestly, I don't care if they peak and find out. That's what they get for peaking. Only a few toys are on/in the bedside table (okay ON not IN) and the majority are in our sex toy cabinet.
6. Do you own any exercise equipment that is useful for sex?
We have a couple of exercise balls, but have yet to put them into any good use. I really don't want to think about exercise when having sex.
7. Aside from your bedroom, what room do you have sex in most often?
The kitchen! We love kitchen sex...
8. Do you have any electronics (TV, stereo) etc in your bedroom that are on during sex?
Never. We never do TV or music during sex. It's always 100% about us. Ok well one time while watching Netflix in bed, we had sex, but the volume was off (we turned it off) so we wouldn't be distracted. Sex by laptop light.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
*FHF = Fucking Hot Fiance
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