Does the title of this make you squick a little? Does the thought of fucking while on your/her period make you feel ill? I hope not. This post has been a long time coming. A lot of people consider "period sex" a taboo topic or shy away from it. Why?
Having a period is normal. It's supposed to happen. There was a time in my life when, thanks to the joy of PCOS, I would be "lucky" to get a period once a year. Wow, a full year with no period? Awesome, right? No. Not awesome at all. It would come with no warning and then stick around for a week. Or two. And then it might come back in another two and hang around. Then I might have them every few weeks for two weeks at a time. Then the wet season would end and nothing would happen for fifteen months. Fifteen months of hanging on the edge, waiting.
Birth control fixed that for me. Now I'm that regular every 28 days just like they told you in health class type of schedule. I'm so regular, I can predict it within the hour normally. My point is, it's supposed to happen once a month; that's how women's bodies are made.
So why, for a few days to a week every month, do we pretend we are not sexual beings? Nothing changes about who we are or what we like. Our hormones may be in flux but a week later I will still be me, a girl who really enjoys sex and wants to have it on a daily basis.
In fact, during my period, I'm usually my horniest ever. I need sex. I need orgasms. I don't care how they come, but I must have them. Daily at the very least, several times a day is better. In life pre-BF, my period meant eternal panties and no touching "down there." It was icky, gross, bloody, nasty, smelly, and ever other horrible, negative that could be said.
But to me, it was natural. This is supposed to happen. It's happened for years and will continue to happen for many more. For me, period blood is just another bodily fluid. It smells a little different, but my own body makes it. It's just extra lube. In a different color.
Some of my best masturbation orgasms happen during my period. Maybe its part of the full body acceptance, but I love touching myself during the days each month that remind me I'm a woman. I'm a woman who likes to masturbate no matter what day or time it is.
When my boyfriend first came to visit, I had 10 days to have sex before my period came. I remember having a moment of panic when discussing dates and saying, "Oh no... wait... OK, we'll have 10 days before my period starts... good."
"So? I don't care about that. I'll have sex during your period."
Woah. Really? YAY! Finally - someone who felt like I did... it was no big deal! A period happens, why let it interfere with sex?
The first time we had sex on my period, I was so happy. Nothing felt weird or gross. We didn't even make a mess. The only change in our routine was he wiped his cock off when we were done. You could barely tell it had been involved in such a taboo task! Since then, period sex is part of our normal sex life. If I'm feeling lots of cramps, I'll ask him to help me out with some sex. Or a handjob. His opinion for that is, "My fingers can be washed." Huh, what do you know, he's right. Fingers, like dicks, are washable. So finger fuck me away!
His only line about period sex is he won't go down and eat me out. I'm fine with that. I'm not sure I would be able to do that myself. I can live 4-5 days without oral sex. It just means I have deadlines so I can say, "Eat it tonight, or you can't for 5 days" and suddenly I'm having a great night of oral sex!
I thought several times about writing this post. I half expected someone to ask, "What about your period?" because we have sex ALL THE TIME. No one did. But I wasn't sure what to say about it other than "just do it." In the past month I've come across two great articles by fellow bloggers also on the topic of period sex.
Rubyyy Jones has a great post on starting out with period sex and what to consider if you're going to try it. There's no reason why this topic needs to be hush-hush between you and your partner. Talk and try!
Girly Juice writes an great article on how to make period sex more enjoyable for both. In fact, she suggests using menstrual cups, instead of tampons, to make oral sex possible without blood being a factor. I call it brilliant and cannot wait to try it.
There's no reason your sex life should stop when "Aunt Flo" or "that time of the month" comes around. Communicate, share, and explore. Your partner just might be super grateful for it.
I, too, have PCOS and remember the days of no periods. In my younger days I loved it. Now, I'm older and want me body to work like normal. I have somehiw managed to get on a cycle, however due to the pain of my periods sex just isn't possible. Orgasms trigger painful cramps and make it 10x worse. It sucks, but that's just the way it goes, so for me I am definitely off limits those few days. However, I'm glad atleast someone is still getting to have fun! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI remember the first time I was "bloodied"...the woman didn't tell me she was expecting her period anytime. Afterwards, I actually thought I tore something inside her and she was immediately apologetic. I assured her I was okay and I washed it off. We had sex again few days later. Status quo.
ReplyDeleteI used to think nothing of period sex. It's still I, it is still my body... let's have sex! I even still had oral sex sometimes; my partners and I really thought nothing of it. One said that he did notice a difference; I tasted somewhat metallic. My flow has always been relatively light, which probably helps.
ReplyDeleteThen I found a man who is wonderful in many, many ways, but cannot get over period sex. It is not deliberate on his part; he really cannot handle it. Not just the actual menses, but even my smell during PMS changes enough to bother him. For years, I felt anxious and horrible. I am at my most insatiable during PMS and on my first period day, and yet my life partner finds me repellent at that time. I went from being carefree and always eager, to always worried about whether we would be caught off-guard. Despite being with a fantastic and kinky man who adored me, I often felt ugly and repugnant. He feels badly, too, but cannot change his reactions any more than I can change the fact that I menstruate.
And then we opened our bedroom just a crack and found one who, like my previous partners, has no concerns with period sex. He likes my smells, whatever my point in my cycle. I can enjoy period sex again, and my spouse can enjoy my pleasure at a distance.
We don't really refrain from sex during that time of the month; generally Jill's flow is light. She prefers that I not go down on her when she's menstruating and I gladly oblige. (We especially loved the "deadline" aspect you mention.) But as for fucking? There isn't much that that we imagine could ever stop us. In fact, she's got her period now, and I imagine we'll fuck as soon as the baby naps.
ReplyDeleteYou mention that "for a few days to a week every month...we pretend we are not sexual beings." What we find kind of amusing is the mind set that we are still sexual beings but are unable to act on it, as though the period is some sort of force field that prevents copulation. It's kind of sad, really, though completely understandable. Society views blood in a radically different way than we view just about any other substance. Doesn't matter that in this case bleeding is something that is supposed to happen. It's blood so it's bad.
Like you, Jill is incredibly horny when she gets her period, though it's difficult to tell because she's pretty much always horny. And she has very intense orgasms that seem to come very easy, but again, that's difficult to tell. Sounds like you and she have a lot in common, and that's pretty hot.
It's awesome that your BF embraced your period and the idea of sex while it was happening. It IS no big deal, and that you and he are on the same wavelength about it is inspiring.
Thanks for the links. We thought we knew it all, but there's a lot of info out there to which we weren't privy. Great post, as always.
-Jack
Great post! And I second the recommendation on the menstrual cups.
ReplyDeleteMia is usually pretty horny during her period, but I just can't do it. I mean, I have done it occasionally, but usually, I just refrain. It's not that I am grossed out, but I just have this thing with being dirty. When I eat pizza, I wipe my hands after every singe bite. I won't eat ribs. I just don't like messes and period sex is no exception. I have zero problem if people like it, but I just can't get dirty like that.
ReplyDelete