TMI Tuesday: Comfort and Thrill of Sex

1. How do you feel about giving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?

a. I love it.

b. I enjoy it.

c. I’m ok with it.

d. I don’t really enjoy it.

e. I don’t enjoy it at all.

f. I have never given anal sex.

g. I have never given anal sex, but would like to start.

My answer: A. I love to fuck with boyfriend with my fingers or toys! If I had a dick, I'd fuck him with it, too. I love to do it face-to-face so I can watch his pleasure and judge how I need to go with my angle and pace.

His answer: A. (When I asked him, I hadn't even finished asking "Do you love it?" when he answered "Fuck yeah!" with eyes lit up.)

 

2. How do you feel about receiving anal sex (penetration with penis, finger or sex toys)?

a. I love it.

b. I enjoy it.

c. I’m ok with it.

d. I don’t enjoy it at all.

e. I have never received anal sex.

f. I have never received anal sex, but would like to start.

My answer: B. I would add that while I enjoy anal sex, I am not always in the mood for it and its rarely on top of my list. Now if you're going to lick my asshole, I'm up for that any time. ANY TIME.

His answer: A. He loves it, loves it, loves it. He'll take it anyday I think.

3. How do you feel about getting undressed in front of a new lover, for the first time, as he/she watches you?

a. It’s a turn on for me.

b. It turns me on a little bit.

c. I like it, but only because it gets him/her going.

d. It does nothing for me.

e. I don’t like doing it because I am shy.

f. I don’t like doing it because I think it’s immoral/improper.

My answer: This was a hard one for me. I've only had 2 lovers. The first one the undressing happened VERY slowly over almost 2 years. With my BF, I undressed for him on webcam before I did it in person. Both times I felt self conscious and shy, but his response turned me on. I undressed very quickly when we met in person and he did the same. I think we were alreayd so turned on the act of undressing didn't do it so much.

His answer: A again. He says it definitely turns him on, and all the time, not just the first time.

4. Do you express your sexual pleasure with moans, groans, sighs, and other noises (provided that you are actually turned on)?

a. Yes, each time I have sex (90-100% of the time).

b. Yes, on most occasions (70-89% of the time).

c. Yes, on some occasions (40-69% of the time).

d. Yes, on a few occasions (10-39% of the time).

e. Yes, but only on special occasions (1-9% of the time).

f. Never, not even when I am really turned on.

My answer: A, all the time. I cannot stifle my vocal expression of pleasure. I've managed to do this only once or twice and it was super difficult.

His answer: A. I am so happy to be with a partner who has no voicing his pleasure. Now he calls out my name when he masturbates next to me and that is one of the best sounds in the world.

5. Do you talk to your partner in a sexually explicit way?

a. Talking dirty is one of our favorite activities.

b. Occasionally, I like to talk dirty with my partner, and I do it with ease.

c. I talk dirty with my partner, but it feels awkward.

d. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but I don’t dare for fear of being judged or ridiculed.

e. I would like to talk dirty with my partner, but she/he isn’t into it.

f. I don’t talk in such a way because I think it is inappropriate.

g. I don’t talk in such a way because I can’t bring myself to do it.

Our answer: B. We talk dirty all the time. Our second language is innuendo. Is it one of our favorite activities? I'm going to say no just because we DO talk about a lot more than just sex. We've been living together for a year and communication and being on the same page is one of our highest priorities. So by default B.

6. What kind of animal do you most sound like when building to a climax?

a. quiet little mouse

b. low moaning wolf

c. screeching beluga whale

My answer: I am a C. If B had read "Howling at the moon wolf" then that would have worked. What can I say? If you're with me, you'll know if I am enjoying myself.

His answer: He had no clue, so I selected B for him. He's nowhere near me in terms of loudness, and his vocalisations are more quiet than loud.

Bonus: Which do you prefer comfort sex or thrill-seeking sex? Why?

Comfort seekers value deep intimacy, quiet engagement and trust over time of familiar relationships. For them sex is best as a safe, loving nurturing space.*
Thrill seekers value wild energy, adventure and novelty; they are willing to try open relationships, testing themselves outside average sexual practices. These folks crave a place to push the boundaries of new experiences.*

I'd say I'm a comfort-thrill seeker. I want to build deep intimacy with novelty and pushing the limits. Yes we have discussed open relationships and we are definitely not "average" in our sexual experience, but that does not mean I'm giving up sex as a "safe, loving and nurturing space." I'd say I am currently experiencing both and I love that.

*Adapted from Susan Mernit’s blog

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Mentally seduced

Monday I posted a blog post about how we had fallen out of our normal sex routine. We were tired and stressed, myself especially. I couldn't get in the mood; even his masturbation had fallen off its normal routine. We were just weary and sex was so far from our priority.

Irony of ironies, he started sexting me at work that day. Well, at first it was just texts about how he wanted me, but he was respecting my exhaustion level and didn't want to pressure me in any way to add to my stress. I couldn't help but smile at his complete concern for me. I told him that I loved that, and I had certainly notice his restraint. Rather than masturbating at night, he was holding me on his chest as we fell asleep together. He never mentioned sex or questioned my complete lack of interest in his body.

I told him that I loved his caring for me, but I kinda wanted to be pursued. Convince me, try to change my mind... in other words, fight for it. In a weird way, I didn't him to stand aside and wait for me to catch up. I wanted him to fight for it.

This strikes me as rather an insecure, as if I needed him to prove he was still interested in me. I know better, but sometimes old demons of low self esteem come back to haunt you at your darkest times.

As soon as I told him to pursue me, he started sexting me. He turned me on with words, and I felt myself get very wet, anticipating my arrival home.

Some of the sexts:
I want to play with your clit boner.

I want to sniff your pussy.

I'm going to jack off your clit boner like a little cock.

Last week I wanted to get home to relax before going back to work for a couple of hours; I couldn't even think about that now. All I wanted was him.

I got home and we went almost straight to bed. He started slow, kissing me and cuddling me. He told me he loved me and let his hands wander, complimenting my body. At some point, his hand started to move down my body, slowly. His fingers found my pussy and his middle finger found my clit. My favorite way to orgasm is with my clit, and a handjob is one of my most preferred.

Maybe it was the full month without his hand making me cum. Maybe it was just the dry spell in general. He hit all the right spots. He held me while he made my body twitch and respond to his subtle movements. He held his finger on my clit, not moving, and let me pulse and respond to the tease. He jerked on my clit like he was jacking me off. He told me my clit was so big it might as well be a dick in his fingers. He had three fingers pulling on my clit, making me cry out and beg to cum. On and on until I came screaming.

A minute or two of rest before I started stroking his cock in return. I had played with it while he played with me, but I really wanted him to come. And now I was really cock hungry.

I didn't waste my time. I pulled his dick into my mouth. It had been weeks, too many weeks. I rolled my tongue up and down his soft cock, feeling it get harder the longer I played with it.

And then suddenly he was hard, and I was deep throating him. His hand was grabbing a fist of my hair at the back of my skull and he was in complete control of my mouth. He fucked my mouth by forcing my head down, cutting off my air supply. He made me hold my breath as he fucked deep in my mouth.

I controlled my gag reflex pretty well, only pulling up a couple of times for more air. I was his to use, and when he didn't want to hold my hair any more, I still pushed his dick down my throat. I flicked my tongue up his cock while I held it in my mouth. I sucked on the head of his penis, making him beg for more, more!

He came down my throat and I sucked him off until he forced my head to still, dick down my throat still.

Dry spell broken.

We repeated the same routine Tuesday night.

Wicked Wednesday: Sneak Up

I am working from home. We may chit-chat, but my focus is my work. We sit in the same room, but we might as well be worlds apart. I am in full business mode. Conference calls, emails, excel spreadsheets. The outside world disappears. 

Occasionally he interrupts my focus. I give the briefest of responses before returning to my world. Mid-afternoon he announces he's going to shower. I nod an acknowledgment, too busy with my pivot table to look up.

A few minutes pass and I hear him showering. I think about him in there and how I like to shower with him. 

And then I see my camera sitting on my desk. Now I'm totally distracted. Him. Naked. Surprise photo.

I turn it on, and sneak into our room. I peak around the corner, and take a photo. He sees the flash and turns, surprised. I take another to capture his body turned toward me.  The flash obscures his face in the shower curtain, but the rest of his body I can see pretty clearly.

Surprise, honey.

I didn't catch him doing anything dirty. I wish I had.  I'll keep trying.

TMI Tuesday: Let's Go to Bed!

1. What size (King, queen, full, twin)?

King! When I was first married we had a queen and I hated it. I actually hated the mattress AND the proximity to my ex. I used a pillow barrier to keep us apart so no snuggling could take place, so we upgraded to a king to make it more comfortable for both of us. Now that I'm with the BF, we are almost always next to each other. A lot of nights we share a pillow. We don't really need a king. Oh, the size is really nice, but I wouldn't mind going down to a queen one day. (For the record, he says I'm crazy and has no intention of downsizing our bed at all.)

2. What mattress construction?

We have a conventional spring mattress with a 3" thick cushion top. No boxspring, It's so comfortable!

3. What furniture type? Frame, headboard/footboard, canopy, trundle, etc? Describe.

We have a headboard/footboard combination. It's a platform bed from Ikea, so instead of a boxspring it has wooden slats. I love my bed.

4. If your bed has headboard/footboard or bedposts, have you ever been tied to them? Ever tied anyone to them? For what purpose?

Our bed.

You can see our restraints in the picture above (tied to four corners of the bed from the time he made me scream and scream). I've also tied him sitting up to the footboard the time I made him watch me masturbate.

5. What kind of sheets?

Currently organic cotton from Target. I prefer 100% cotton sheets, preferably organic. It takes a while for them to soften up as they are a bit rougher than regular sheets, but they are so comfortable. And since we are always naked in our bed, I like knowing the fibers I sleep and breathe on are organic.

6. What kind of blankets (cotton, wool, thermal, electric)?

We have an electric blanket for when its freezing in winter and we need the bed to be warmed up before climbing in naked (yes, we sleep naked all year round). Otherwise, no blankets needed.

7. What’s on top (bedspread, duvet,…)?

We have a duvet, a subject of much debate. I love the duvet; its a feather comforter with a separate machine washable cover. The problem is, the covers get kicked around and the duvet ends up in a tiny ball with a bunch of empty cover surrounding it, so one person is overwhelmed by the heat of triple comforter and the other is cold. I love it (I like to be cold while sleeping) but he hates the struggle. We don't use it during this heatwave summer.

8. What kind of pillow (down, foam, fiberfill)? I have a bunch of pillows, really. I have feather, fiberfill, and latex foam. I'm kind of like the princess and the pea when it comes to being comfortable in bed, so I have a variety of pillows for whatever I need at the moment.

Bonus:  Fill in the blank and answer question.

If you the reader comes over, will you let them fuck you on your bed? Yes or no.  I always prefer to fuck on a bed, so, assuming we're both into it and the boyfriend is as well, then yes, you may share my bed with me/us.

When life is too busy

This is a sex blog, right? Right.

So what happens when we hit a dry spell, and we've only had sex once in the past week?

Woah, what? Only once!?

Maybe for some it wouldn't be such a big deal. For some that may be normal. For us, we're used to 7-10 times a week, on average. We've never been through this kind of "dry spell" before.

Part of my mind wants to freak out. I freak out that, after hitting the 1 year mark in our relationship, the magic and connection is gone and now we're going to end up in a sexless relationship like I'm  used to. But then the rational side of my brain reminds me that this relationship is NOTHING like my prior one. It's only been a little bit of time, this can happen. It's normal. Sometimes life gets in the way and you get busy. We still desire each other, we're just not clicking.

Really, its me more than anything. I'm overwhelmed at work doing ten and twelve hour days several days a week plus some time on weekends. I'm still trying to unpack and get settled in my home. As @MrAbsnthPassion said to me on twitter:

Too much brain buzz after the move to sort through all the noise

He was referring to my complaint of writer's block, but it holds true for the sex life as well. 

Normally a good sleep will help me recharge, become myself again. But I haven't slept well in weeks. I'm in a viscous cycle of  stressing due to life, and not sleeping due to stress, and trying to sleep to get some rest, only to have life prevent me from resting at all. 

Weekends are normally my break, but if I'm working on the home or doing work work, I'm not getting much of a break. And then each night is best described as fitful. I wake up with terrible muscle aches in my back, shoulders, and neck. 

All of this is making me short on patience and positivity. I feel like a shell just drifting through the days, accomplishing as much as I can in the hope it will one day make up for all my effort and I'll be rewarded for my work with free time. I'm not feeling like myself. 

The normal me would be horny, desiring my boyfriend's affection and attention. I should be open to his advances and making plenty of my own. I would want to masturbate. I'd be silly in my interactions and making him laugh and giggle. I'd want to talk pictures of him and us in sexy poses and lingerie. I'd write my sex toy reviews.

I'll keep trying. I know it will pass. July will just be a less than stellar month for us, but consider the prior twelve, it's OK. Life happens. It will continue.

I/we cannot wait. 

A look at our sex toy collection

Separately, we had both started collecting sex toys. However, neither of us had much of a collection. We started buying toys together before we even met in person. Now you get to see full details below.

Innocent cabinet

Ta-Da!

Our innocent cabinet that matches other bedroom furniture turns into....
















OK, let's dive in, shall we? I've linked to blog references to these toys and, for some, where you can buy them yourself. You're welcome!

 Top Shelf - Bondage

 1. Handcuffs with velcro adjustments & fake metal (read: plastic) chain). We bought these in a local sex shop early in our relationship. We liked the chain in between the cuffs, but found it was so cheap we really didn't trust the links against our real struggling.

2. Japanese Rope handcuffs: This was given to me as a wedding present from my best friend. The rope is super soft and actually luxurious feeling. My ex wouldn't touch it. I've used these to bind the BF to the bed sitting up to watch me masturbate.

3. Metal handcuffs: These were from the BF that he brought with him. They do click into place well; we don't have a key for them. There isn't much of a chain between them and I think we've only used them once. The metal kind of hurts and is distracting to us during sex, which is why we bought the cuffs in #1.

4. Velcro handcuffs: Another set from the BF that he brought with him. These have a plastic clip that can clip them together or, if you have the equipment, connect to some longer straps. We don't have those. One cuff has printed "Don't" and the other "Stop" on them. These are fine, but we don't really like them very much.

5/6. Because its so visible in the background, the black pouch and purple below it are storage items for other toys shown further in the list...

2nd shelf - Clit Vibes

7. Vibrating Clit pump. Oh, the famous clit pump!

8. Fun Factory's Layaspot: I purchased this as a clitoral/full exterior pussy vibrator during my sexual frustrated years... and this toy was equally frustrating. But I haven't thrown it out. I'm hopful I can turn it in to something fun.

9. Pipedream vibrator: This little vibe actually goes with a glass dildo further down on the list. The vibe is very strong and has some great vibe patterns, but it gets hot quickly. It's a backup should my trusty bullet vibe break (again!) on me.

10. Bullet vibe: This vibe is a cheap bullet vibe that you can buy from almost every sex toy shop online under different toy names; they are all obviously the same with different print on them. They range from $9-$15 depending on where you purchase. This is my back-up as my current working one is on my bedside table for easy access. My favorite vibe ever! Bought my first one on my honeymoon, used it about once a year. Now I use it once or twice a week, I think.

11. Rocket Vibe: This vibe is battery whore. Seriously. It will wear out two AA batteries in about 30 minutes. If you're willing to invest in the batteries, this is a super fun toy. It's about 5 inches in length but has the power of my bullet vibe and includes vibration patterns! I've used it in my pussy to practice my kegels and in his ass as a little extra stimulation while I jack him off.

Vibrating dildos/glass

12. The Tantus Echo. I bought this toy a few months ago as a special deal from Tantus (it's listed as a closeout item currently). Anyway, this silicone dildo is awesome because it comes with an 80mm bullet vibe that you can feel through the whole dildo. Plus its ridges are pretty extreme - it's like 5 or 6 penis heads entering/exiting your body with each full thrust. This dildo stretches me out and makes my BF accuse me of having an extra slutty pussy.

13. Random vibrating dildo. I remember I bought this dildo from Babeland during my frustrated years of sex, but I've barely used it (and I can't find it on their website anymore). There's nothing wrong with it, but its just not super exciting to me. I keep it because when I want a vibe with some slight waves for gripping with my pussy, this is it. Oh, and it vibrates.

14. Pipedreams Icicle dildo #16. This is my first glass dildo and there is a review coming on it. I love glass, and this toy is awesome. It's very popular for our G-spot/try to make me squirt play, such as the time he tied me up and just made me scream and scream.

15. Babeland Orchid G: I bought this toy along with Violet Blue's book The Smart Girl's Guide to the G-Spot as a kit from Babeland when I first discovered squirting and decided I wanted to try it myself. I had no sucess on my own with this item -- until this week. I tried masturbating with this item and my hitachi to squirt. I got very close, but ended up squirting with my hitachi alone after I had given up on it happening at all. So I think this toy has redeemed itself after 5 years, its now a keeper.

16. Butterfly Kiss vibe: This is my first vibrator that was designed to target G-spot and clit. I started using this shortly before the BF entered my life. I used it all the time on cam with him during skype, showing off a bit of my oral skills. This is the toy that he coached me into having multiple orgasms with. Now that my pussy has been stretched out a bit, this toy really doesn't do much for me anymore.

17. OK, I admit. I have one jelly toy. In my defense, it came free with another toy order. I've not used it. BUT, it's a rabbit vibe - which I've never tried - and I really want to cover it with a condom and just try it one day. And then toss it.

Anal play & couples toys

18. Tantus Charmer dildo. Another purchase via a Tantus special, this is a great toy for anal and G-spot play. The ridges are much less intense than the Echo dildo/vibe so we both use this toy and I love to peg him with it.

19. The Siren dildo. Our second dildo purchase together, this is our favorite pegging dildo. It's pretty big and I can get his P-spot so good with it. It's also the one he uses when he fucks himself against the bathroom wall and sends me naughty pictures of it. This is our largest dildo, but I think we're ready for an upgrade in size. When he fucks my vagina with it, he loves to dirty talk at how loose it makes me.

20. Spareparts Joque harness. This is our only harness and we love it. I selected it because it was adjustable in so many ways and unlike so many other harnesses out there, it is machine washable! The harness parts wrap around your waist and and legs, leaving your ass completely free and open. It's also available in a larger size for us "plus size" women, so I don't feel squeezed into it.

21. Tantus Silk dildo - small. This was our first dildo purchase and we got it to go with the harness. Its funny, you never know how small something is until you see it and we were both a little disappointed at this size. He really wanted something larger. However, this is the toy we use for DP when he fucks my pussy and then fucks my ass with this. It's a great size for that and I feel very comfortable with it.

22. Crystal Delights glass butt plug. We have a pink crystal in the end of this toy. I won this on twitter to my absolutely delight and received it about a day before we moved - so we haven't used it yet. Stay tuned.

23. Condoms. We only use condoms when I'm on antibiotics which interfere with my birth control pill. Otherwise we dislike the condom route. I keep these on hand for emergencies or when I have a toy we want to use anally but it isn't made of silicone or if its not flared at the bottom (like the rocket vibe) and I need to hold onto something more than the end of the toy.

24. Pop Plug / Plug of Lust (small): I won this toy on twitter before I even had a sex blog - my first sex toy win! We love this anal plug. It kind of reminds me of a pacifier and it does kind of "pop" into your ass. We've both worn this plug in preparation for anal sex. We love it.

25. Pop Plug / Plug of Lust (large): While #24 came from Babeland, this one came from Eden Fantasy's. To me, they look identical aside from the color. It certainly is large compared to the small, and only the BF has used it so far. He loves it. I've plugged him with it, and then held the hitachi to his ass for it.

26/27. Vibrating cock rings. I've purchase both of these from Babeland. The first was an attempt to entice my terrible married sex life (one of many) and I ended up not liking the toy; it wasn't strong enough. The other cock ring is made of silicone and could hit my clit just right. however, the BF didn't like it and found the vibes so distracting he went limp. So... I'm not sure what I'll do with these.

28. Pink Silk gloves. We bought these on our date night in May. The BF has always wanted me to stroke him with silk gloves. I made him orgasm just from stroking his body with these gloves. He just loves them. He's also used them on me.

29. Blindfold. These came with our restraints we purchased (also on our date night). We don't blindfold often, and when we have we've used my silk scarves for it.

Spanking & Large toys

30. Drac Fleshlight. We got him this vampire-inspired fleshlight around Christmas for his and my joint fun. We've both used this toy, and he tends to use it while sitting on twitter talking to me or looking through tumblr during his morning masturbation. I like to pretend to eat this pussy before he uses it if I'm around. Oh, and the material makes me totally jealous I don't have a dick myself.

31. Riding crop. Another date night purchase, this toy has been used quite a bit in the short time we've owned it. I've spanked his ass and he's spanked my ass and clit with this toy. We love the reach with it, and yet we love how close you can be and still use it effectively.

32. SLUT paddle. Ooh our spanking paddle. We love this. I use it to administer swift spanks to him when he's naughty around the house.

Not pictured:

33. Mr. Hitachi, who is always plugged in next to my side of the bed awaiting use.

34. Our bed restraints, which will be featured in the near future in a post of its own. We don't take them off the bed unless we have really good reason to. 

35. Pandora vibe, an excellent prostate vibrator just for him. It's currently packed somewhere and hasn't been unpacked  yet.

36. Smartballs Teneo uno - A single kegel exercise ball that is also packed somewhere still. I love to wear it, when I remove it after a couple of hours its normally covered in cum as if I've had an orgasm. I normally have the BF lick it clean, although I do take part in that sometimes as well.

e-lust #38

Photo courtesy of Lucy and Alex of A Couple of Wankers

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #39? Start with the newly updated rules, come back August 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ Top 3 ~

Wrong On Every Level - "If you wouldn’t ask them to borrow $20 bucks, how the fuck is it ok for you to ask them to fuck you? Oh right, it’s not."

Good Girl - "She nearly melted into me. When I finally released her, she exhaled–she had been holding her breath."

The Three Minute Game - "The timer went off and I breathed out, both a sigh of relief and disappointment that it was over."

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

Bitch- "I don’t let her run the show…but she’s always around. She’s in the background saying: Bullshit"

e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

Anticipation
Bondage Blowjob
Filling you up
Learn the rope of knots: Square knot
Public tease
Swinging in Paris
Switch: Between Dom & sub – A BDSM Interlude

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Porn and Masturbation Trifecta
Cathartic
Deal breakers
Deborah Sundahl’s Class & Female Ejaculation
How my pussy has changed
On Rejection
Outgrowing One-Nighters (At Least in Part)
The Good, the Bad, but Never the Ugly

Erotic Writing

4 O'clock in the Morning
At the Campsite
Brutal Passion
Cold Hot Cold
Empty
I want to spoil you
I'm a Bootlicker, and That's Okay
I'll Take Two Please!
In the Soft Morning Light
Lolita Twenty-Twelve
My orgasm
Parked
Preparation
Peter and Sophie on Holiday
Slow tease
Sodden Sheets
The Guide
The First Time Again
Week Night Sex

TMI Tuesday: Daring

What are your 50 shades?

1. I enjoy the idea that my partner wants to inflict pain on me that:

a. makes me curious

b. is titilliating and sexually arousing

c. that leaves me screaming and/or crying because that's the way I like it

My answer: b. I like to be titillated and a little bit of pain is sexually arousing. I can't tolerate a lot of spanking or pain in bed. I have a very low tolerance before I start to hurt beyond the point of fun. Part of me wants to experience crying as a result, but I'm not sure I'm anywhere near ready for that.

His answer: b. He receives a lot more pain than I do in terms of spanking and nipple pinching. He loves it and will beg for harder, more, until I feel like I can't give anymore. He doesn't scream or cry, at least not that I've made him do yet. He doesn't find that interesting and I'm not sure I would want to make him cry in bed anyway.

2. Do you like being forced to dress or act in a way that is humiliating? If yes, please describe. If no, why not?

My answer: No, I really don't. I don't find it exciting to be forced to do anything humiliating or embrassing. It makes me upset or angry, especially when attention is drawn to it. It would be very difficult to handle psychologically. That  might be part of the point. I'll not say it will never happen, but it will be a while.

His answer: Well, it's not anything he's experienced yet, but he's open to it. (I'm not sure how I would dress him to humiliate him - he's bisexual, a cum slut, likes to cross dress, be a kitty, and lick up creampies and suck dick... Any ideas, dear readers?)

3. Do you like seeing bruises, scars, or marks that were caused during sex on either you or your partner? What kind of marks?

My answer: Yes. I love to see them on me and on him.I love seeing his ass bruised and speckled red the day after a heavy spanking. I really like it when I have hickies on my body from him for days after sex. I love seeing those marks in the mirror, reminders of his passion for me on my skin.

His answer: No!

4. Would you like to be forced to do sexual things that you don't necessarily like to do?

My answer: Yes, I think so, it depends on what it is, really. Just how much do I not like to do it? There's a lot I like to do, but not a lot on the "don't like" list.

His answer: Sure... but I don't know if there are any sexual things I don't want to do?

5. Do you want to be forced to watch your lover with someone else? Yes, No, or It depends.

My answer: No, that is never something I want to be forced to watch. I always want it to be a choice.

His answer: Maybe...(perhaps you should read this entry on how he wants to watch me with SOME men, well so far ONE man.)

6. What dirty (sometimes inappropriate) things do you like to say to your sexual partner?

My answer: I like to call him a girl, sissy boy, small dick. I tell him he doesn't satisfy me. 

His answer: Bitch, suck my dick. Fucking cunt. 

Honestly, what do we NOT say to each other? We basically dirty talk all day when we're around each other...

Bonus: Finish this statement: I like being powerful in bed because I like to have control in life, and when I have control I have power. It also makes me responsible for giving him pleasure, and that is the best responsibility I could think of.

Screaming wouldn't save me

Note: This takes place the day before I squirted for the first time.
 
My wrists and ankles are cuffed with tethers to the corners of our bed. I am laid out, naked. Vulnerable. 

For months he had told me I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to be tied up and subjected to orgasm after orgasm. We couldn't do it in the apartment, my screaming would be too loud.

Now we have a house. Just a few days after moving in, he told me the time had come. Well, the time to tie me up. He says I'm still not ready to be forced to orgasm as he fully intends to one day.

He started by taking my favorite bullet vibe and running it in circles around my clit. It's only on low vibration, but it doesn't take long for my clit to swell. He threatens to spank my clit for being too excited. I tell him no, it's not my fault it feels so good.

He turns up the bullet vibe and holds it just up on my clit so it's not directly on me like I would need in order to cum. Too soon he takes it off my clit. And then with a little extra lube he sticks it in my asshole about half way in.

I've never had vibration in my ass before. It makes my asshole feel like its stretched wider than it is. It feels good, but so different.

Almost immediately my glass G-spotting dildo is inserted in my vagina. The bulb of the dildo pushes against the bullet in my asshole; now I really feel stretched. I whimper and move away a little bit. It doesn't hurt, I'm just not used to it. But then the bulb slips further into me and the feeling of fullness passes into just pleasure. He's sliding the dildo in and out of me. I love how it feels hard in me.

My muscles are tensed as he starts to really fuck me with it. With his free hand he plays with my clit.

Once again, he stops before I can orgasm.

I'm frustrated. My asshole is still vibrating and he is still fucking me with the glass dildo. But my clit is practically begging for attention. I need to cum with my clit. I whine, begging to cum. He just smiles at me.

He has me close my eyes while he stops. Then I hear Mr. Hitachi buzzing - and he places it on my clit on low.I can't keep my eyes shut, they fly open and look at him. He's watching my face. He presses it into my clit and resumes fucking my vagina again.

I can't move much, but as my orgasm starts to build I automatically try to move away, arching my back. And then my first orgasm hits. It's powerful and he doesn't move the hitachi away from me. He presses it further onto my clit. I push up the bed as I'm able to. He pursues me. He won't let me have any relief from the orgasm and orgasm number two hits me even harder.

He won't stop the hitachi on me or give me a moment's pause. My screams were filling the room and echoing down the hallway. My whole body was tensed. I gripped the restraints with my hands. I needed escape, a ride down. I wanted to relax.

He wiggled the hitachi back and forth against my clit. My second orgasm had barely finished but my pleasure was still very high - and then the third orgasm hit me. I screamed so hard I went voiceless. I could hardly breathe. My hands gripping the restraints pulled me up the bed, trying to get away.

He was relentless. He wouldn't let me rest. He started fucking me hard with the glass dildo while pressing the hitachi on me. Now I can feel a vaginal orgasm building and my body is again trying to get away from him. I'm still screaming from the last orgasms, and then this next orgasm comes and I  feel my head hit the rails of our headboard while my body arches away from the hitachi.

I am screaming so hard I start gasping for air. I can't breathe. He won't stop. I can't make any noise at all. I start coughing, choking on my need for air. He's still fucking me so hard that I can't stop or relax. I try waving my hands to stop but i can't seem to make my hands let go of the rails on the headboard now.

Finally, he pulls the hitachi off me and I manage to catch my breath. But he's only paused long enough to turn it from "low" to "high." Before I can barely get my voice back the bullet vibe is pulled from my ass and the hitachi is forced back onto my pussy, vibrating the glass dildo and my clit. On high.

My screams picked right up where they left off and I tried to twist one way or another. Orgasms hit me one right after the other with no time to rest inbetween. I screamed and screamed. I think he said something to me, but I couldn't hear him over my voice. My head hurt from the rail pressing into my skull. My hands were gripping the bed, trying to bend the rails. My legs were stretched so tight my feet kept slipping against the bed trying to push away from him.

Just when I thought I had had enough, he pulled the dildo from me. I thought it was time to relax, but instead he filled me further with his dick and started to fuck me, keeping the hitachi pinned between us on my clit. He pressed down and fucked hard. I couldn't move and screamed through two orgasms before he came in me.

After something like 15 orgasms in the evening, my muscles were tense. I was hoarse. I was exhausted and sore. I needed to rest. As I turned out the light, I thanked him for the wonderful experience.

All he said was, "See, you're not ready... I went easy on you."

Sharing rules

Before our relationship even started, we agreed that we both wanted to have the opportunity to play with others of our same sex. We're both bisexual and we both want to enjoy that side of our sexuality. Our only rule was we wanted to be present, ie, he could watch me with another woman (but not participate) and vice versa.

We both want to "play" with someone we can trust. I am not a "meet you then fuck you 5 minutes later" person. I need a relationship. I need to know who you are and like/love you. For me, sex and orgasms don't happen outside of this arena of caring. I want to make sure that whatever sexual experience we have, there will be kissing and cuddling which are not random experiences for me. I also want to make sure I am with someone who I can trust when they say they are drug/disease free. I don't want to worry and doubt. I want honesty. I want a personal relationship. I want to know what makes you laugh and how to make you giggle. I want to share our more than just my bed, but also some of my normal life.

We haven't done any experimenting yet, really. We've been far too interested in each other. We also are not sure where/how to look. I haven't had time to explore FetLife; I'm not sure it's the place for me. We're both naturally shy and its hard for us to meet someone, much less meet someone to start this kind of relationship. And really, we're in no rush. We've enjoyed the past year together. We have many, many years ahead of us. Why rush into this?

But then there is twitter. There are many amazing, sexy women and couples that offer potential. I'll fully admit to flirting with women on there (you know who you are) and using some of them in my fantasy life (I don't think I've told them about it...). There are singles and couples who have asked to join us or be a part of our sex life. It's all very flattering to be so desired. I've never been so wanted in my entire life.

Most of the time I'm propositioned it's by men or by a couple. No one has lived near me to be a possibility geographically, so I consider these invites pretty harmless and unreal. It's never a serious consideration. But then there's one couple we've started to crush on.

But the interest has expanded from girl-girl and guy-guy. Once my BF got to know the man of the couple pretty well and the man expressed interest in me (although he certainly wants the BF more), my BF told me he wanted me to fuck the guy! I was shocked - SHOCKED. He has been so strong on his stance that no man would ever fuck me, and now he wants me to be fucked by another guy? Not only does he want me to be fucked by the guy, he wants the man to cum in me so my BF can lick me clean. Creampie cleanup!

I've also been granted clearance to flirt with him...it makes my BF jealous, but also turned on and horny. He likes it.

A few weeks ago, somewhat randomly and suddenly, we skyped with them. Naked. We didn't do anything on camera except a little kissing and fondling; we mostly talked. But the ideas and mutual want for a meeting and fun together is on the table and we want to explore further.

In a way, I'm very flattered. I'm flattered that the man wants me, I'm flattered his wife is OK with it, and I'm extremely flattered my BF trusts both of us to be OK with it. I'm turned on. I never thought this would be on the table. Never.

But then the question is raised, what about his wife? She and I are certainly ready to tear into each other, but she has expressed interest in my BF and he is certainly interested in her. But I am not sure I am comfortable and OK with that. I have an insane jealous streak and while I am secure in my relationship, I don't like the idea of my BF getting off due to physical contact with another woman. I have no problem with porn, but I prefer he look at gay or TS porn rather than women. I do not like him flirting with women on twitter. I understand his appreciation for women on tumblr and even this beautiful woman, but the thought of him fucking her or her sucking him off makes me... jealous. sad. lonely. I don't think I can do it.

I'm trying to reconcile these feelings of jealousy with reality. I really have no fear of losing him; I'm not sure what my feelings are.

I never considered myself to be a swinger, but that is certainly the direction we are heading. I'm totally OK with this. Our fantasy life often brings up different things we would do with this couple and others. For now, the rules are changing and our boundaries are expanding. Who knows what might happen when geography is not an issue? I'm not sure. I do know that anyone who will be with us will have a relationship with both of us. And we both get a veto option. Because, ultimately, its about us in the end.

Pursuit of squirting

I have wanted to squirt ever since I first saw Cytherea squirt. I'd never heard of "squirting" until I browsed some random porn site and saw it as a category. I was hooked. It was so hot and seemed impossible to fake. But how to make it happen?

I bought toys. I read books. I did online research. I tried. I tried some more. More often than not, I ended up frustrated and angry. Most of this time I had a partner who didn't care about squirting, wouldn't watch the movies, and wouldn't take any interest in helping it happen. I would give up pretty easily and it began to be this far off, impossible dream.

It consumed me. All of the porn I watched that wasn't hentai was squirting porn. It was too hot and I would get off so easily to it. I just wanted it.

The boyfriend entered my life. He completely understood why I wanted it; he wanted it almost just as much. He wanted it on his dick, his chest, his face. He wanted my squirt to cover him. He wanted to swallow it as it shot into his mouth.

We started trying to make it happen. I talked to twitter friends to find out what worked for them. How did they start? What did it feel like? What did they use? We used dick and fingers. I only had 1 G-spot toy and it just wasn't cutting it for me. I tried a couple of other toys, like a glass dildo and the Hitachi. I watched PassionateU video's on G-spot and squirting.

I learned a lot, such as it happens with different toys in every person. That the more you try, the easier it becomes. That the first time is the hardest and then it becomes easier. That some people squeeze their vaginal muscles and some relax. That some need clitoral stimulation and others need just G-spot application. That some can squirt just from clitoral stimulation. That some can squirt from oral sex. Some squirt every time; some rarely squirt. Others it takes certain toys.

And so we tried. And tried. And tried. Some times we dedicated an entire evening to trying to make me squirt. He would remind me to talk, give feedback, try to help him figure out what I needed, what felt better.

Most of the time I've never felt so lost in my own vagina. Where the fuck was my G-spot? And why could I never find it? And why did it sometimes seem to just disappear? And why would I get that "peeing" sensation and nothing would happen? Why would nothing work when it did for others? I could have G-spot orgasms, but no squirting. Nothing.

Monday afternoon, I'm working from home. We were up early without sex or masturbation. Home together in the afternoon, we were both looking through tumblr and getting turned on. Finally, he came over to me and said his hornyness was demanding an orgasm. I felt the same. He wanted to fuck me over my desk, but my weak ankle wasn't up for it. I proposed an alternative: fuck me doggie style while I knelt on the edge of the bed.

I knelt down, feet hanging over the edge of the bed. I stuck my ass up and out and rested my head on my hands on the bed. He slid his dick up and down my slit, rubbing from vagina to clit and back getting the head of his dick wet.

His dick wasn't fully hard when he entered me, so he started fucking me slowly. Slow and gentle thrusting. I could feel him grow harder and bigger in me. My wetness covered him and started making slick noises when he pulled it all the way out and then slid it back in. He rested his hands on my ass and thrusted slowly. I relaxed into him.

He started fucking a bit harder, a bit faster. He grabbed my hips for leverage. I pushed back into him. I squeezed him with my PC muscles, thinking of some twitter advice on working my kegels during sex. We both liked that. I held him tight as he slid in and out of me. He thrusted shallow for a bit, then deep and hard.

Fucking, just fucking. That's all we were doing. It felt good, I love the shallow thrusts so much - they felt so good. I knew he was targeting my G-spot, but we weren't trying for squirting. I was focusing on squeezing him and enjoying the moment. His shallow thrusts were feeling exceptionally good, amazingly good.

Then, all of a sudden, a rush of liquid. "What the fuck!?" I said... I was peeing not only myself but him, too. He didn't notice it at first - but then the stream started rushing in full force all down the bed and him.

"Honey, you're squirting!" He said so happy to me. He kept fucking me, and my squirt kept squirting out. It wasn't a gush, it was an actual forceful stream going everywhere. It felt so good, so surprising. My first reaction was to clamp down to stop it, but then I let go and let it pour out of me.

Tears streamed from my eyes, I felt elated. When I least expected it and when I wasn't looking for it to happen, it just happened. I was so freaking happy! He continued to fuck me and changed his pace from slow to fast and back down to slow.

Then it happened again. Another gushing stream, covering his balls as it fell everywhere. "Oh _____ I love you" he said as he continued his shallow thrusts. I barely managed to say it back through the tears and moaning. "Oh it smells so good!" he said.

He tried to make me squirt a third time, but my mind was so distracted I was too in my head again. He ended by fucking me so hard my screams filled the room.

The result of squirting twice.

In about 20 minutes he needed to cum again. He was hard just from thinking about it and smelling it on him. He tried to make me squirt some more, but it didn't work. He fucked a long time and very, very hard. So hard, I was bleeding when he was done. He ended up jacking off smelling my squirt on the bed while I finished off with the hitachi.

We both want more, but I think my pussy needs a break. Now that I know I can squirt and we know what works, it's time to experiment from there.

TMI Tuesday: Blankety Blank

Complete the sentences by filling in the blanks.

1. I could spend all day playing video games (and I have) but couldn't stand five minutes watching a basketball game. Just can't do it.

My toon outside the entrance to Moria

Max rank helping an Eagle

2. I would love to have a robot in my house to do the steaming/ironing of clothes because no one else ever does.

Whenever I think of Robots, my mind ends up here.

3. The older you get the more certain of what you want in life you get (at least, that is my less-than-30 experience).

4. I want to be debt free when I am older, but not too old where I can't enjoy that lifestyle and freedom.

5. My appetite for sex with my boyfriend can never be satisfied.

Bonus: If I were a hoarder, I would hoard books. As many books as my house could hold!

It would start like this. Then descend into chaos.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Lust and the No-Sex Pact

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, the BF and I started a "no-sex pact" where we wouldn't have penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex until we moved into our house. Then it would be an explosion of sex. We were supposed to last 24 days. Halfway through, I posted an update where I described some of unexpected "side affects" of such a deal.

I think we had some of our hottest orgasms during these days. We found new ways to pleasure each other (and yes, details on that coming soon!).

But on day 18, we gave in. Day 18 was the day after we closed on the house. After work, we looked around at this house that we have together, our future home, and we gave in to lust and passion.

We didn't even get fully naked. We skipped foreplay.We pulled off pants and underwear, and he fucked me on the floor. He jacked himself off looking at my pussy. I fingered my clit waiting for him; I was on the floor, and his dick was hard in seconds. He laid down and slid slowly into me....

Eighteen days of waiting was over. He filled me up, my pussy surrounding his dick. I felt tight around him and lost myself in the feeling of just his dick sliding in and out of me. He moaned and held my head between his hands, elbows supporting him.

I didn't feel the hard floor beneath me. I didn't care about the carpet under my ass. All I could feel was his weight on me and his dick in me. He ground his pelvis against mine, slightly stimulating my clit. He reached down and started fingered my clit and my already-present moans started to become light, soft screams. He brought me close to orgasm, but not quite. He slowed his fucking while using his fingers to pleasure me.... I wanted more fucking.

I pushed his hand off of me and placed my own finger on my clit. I begged him to fuck me more, fuck me harder, fuck me faster... I needed more dick in me.  He fucked away at me, kneeling upright so I could really get my clit. My orgasm built for a long time, and as I could tell it was getting ready to build, I started telling him I was getting ready to cum. It wasn't really telling him, but the panicked, about to orgasm talk:

"I'm gonna cum... oh I gonna cum... oh fuck oh fuck I'm gonna cum!"

When I came, I screamed as loudly as I needed to - it echoed through the empty house. My body was consumed with the full body orgasm. I arched up against him with just my shoulders and a bit of my ass on the ground. I came screaming and twitching.

My orgasm lasted what felt like a full minute; I'm not sure what it was in reality. I remember my body relaxing in a trembling mess on the floor. I relaxed... and the endorphins took over. I have no memory of how he came... I assume it was in me.

We fucked again later that night.

And then the cleaning, packing, and moving started taking over. Sex and orgasms became luxuries. We fell asleep too tired to for sex, so masturbation took over, if that. The heat wave didn't help. We ran ragged. Moving day came and went - and to celebrate, I rode him cowgirl. Sex began to pick back up, but at a slower than normal pace. It took a few days of unpacking and cleaning for things to calm down where we returned to normal. Like today.

We have unpacked the sex toys and the lube, we have moments to relax. We fucked three times on Sunday. We are once again walking around naked. There is some very naughty sex plans in the works... more details to come.

Video: Handjob for the boyfriend

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