Formspring Friday: Self acceptance and Pegging

Q. I know this is supposed to be for questions, but I just wanted to thank you for doing this blog. I've had issues believing in myself, and that someone out there would find me attractive. Your blog has inspired me to not give up and keep moving forward.
I'm so glad to hear your confidence is growing! I'm so happy to hear the feedback, even if it is anonymous. I used to feel the same way, in fact I've had quite a journey of self-acceptance as you can reading in "Being sex positive part 1" and "part two." I've learned that the world is full of people who enjoy a variety of things; we all can find someone (or many someones) who find you attractive. If anything, I would say a lack of self-confidence is holding you back more than any physical quality you're unsure of.

Believe in yourself! I hope you find someone who can help you, but realize the world is a big place and if you haven't found someone yet, there's always tomorrow. (Cheesy and cliched message aside, I REALLY mean that!). Find what you do like about yourself and then find reasons to like more of you. I've had terrible confidence in my body for years, but man does my BF love every bit of me, even the parts I'm not so fond of. But they are a part of me - And I rock.

I'm not sure if you're male/female/other or what in particular has you concerned, but check out these tumblr lists for some body-positive views:

http://unhungheroes.tumblr.com/ - dedicated to the smaller penises in the world
http://lovemyvagina.tumblr.com/ - showing the variety of vulva's in the world
http://onlycutechubbygirls.tumblr.com/ and http://onlycutechubbygirlsxxx.tumblr.com/ - both dedicated to the "chubby" and BBW's
http://boobsmall.tumblr.com/  - celebrating small boobs! Small boobs are beautiful.
http://redaddict.tumblr.com/ - Redheads and gingers only - and boy are they adored
http://txperv.tumblr.com/ - real life amateur sex shots of anyone
http://fuckyeahgeekgirls.com/ - geek girls!
http://samberrilicious.tumblr.com/ - probably my favorite tumblr voice on being body positive and OK with the body you have - thin, skinny, chubby, fat, whatever!

I'm sure there are plenty more out there that I haven't seen. Trust me, you're sexy and someone out there is looking for you. Don't give up!

Q. I want my wife to peg me, but I don't think she'll be into it. Any advice?
I have a ton of advice!

First - TALK to her about it. Tell her what you want, why you want it, when you want to do it, how you'd like to do it. There's no need for flip charts or presentations, but just say it. Until you do, it will be this big thing in your mind and all you will do is think of how big and how wrong it might be.

Communication is key.  If you can't talk about why you want it,  you'll never make it to selecting the toys or even trying it together for the first time. Talk, talk talk.

It shouldn't be a "I need you to do this for me" or "Guess what we're going to try..." Don't assume she's a yes, but also don't assume she'll freak out on you and say no to it. Approach it as "I've been thinking..." or "Lately I've thought about..." and just spill it. Don't use euphemisms or avoid words like "peg" "fuck" "ass" "dildo." It might lead to confusion. You want this: own it. Show confidence in why you want to do this, but more importantly why HER involvement is so important to you. There are few things sexier than a man telling you why he wants YOU to do something with him.

Anything beyond talking will depend on how the talk with your wife goes. She may be excited, she might be uncertain, or it could freak her out. Whatever her reaction is, don't react out of anger or disappointment. She might need time to think about it and consider it. She may need to do research to realize it is done A LOT, just no one talks about it.

This is a dialogue, keep it that way. Reacting and starting an argument will only make the topic that much more controversial and result in a dislike of it. Just be patient.

Make it a point to talk about her wants and desires. Hopefully this isn't the first open and honest talk about sex you've had -- so you should have some topics of your own. What would she like to try? How often do you use toys on her? Make this an exciting thing for you both to discover.

If she's up for it, send her to some blogs like my own that talk about pegging from a woman's perspective so she can see it for herself. Above all, make sure she knows its about you and you want to experience it with her.

If it doesn't go well, don't hold it against her. Not everyone is into everything. Things might change down the road or they may not. If not, then I guess you'll be buying some dildos or plugs to use on your own!

Review: Maximus Lube

Note: This product was provided by Erotic Toy Town in exchange for an honest review. You can check out all the lubes available at Erotic Toy Town right here. 

The Product
Playing with toys often requires good lubrication. We have tried a variety of lubes and have come up with a list of qualities we like in our lubes. They are:

• Water-based: While we've tried silicone-based lube, we weren't that impressed. Plus, we have a lot of silicone toys so purchasing silicone lube still requires the purchase of a water-based lube for use with our toys. Silicone lube is then restricted to hand/foot jobs. We'd rather just have one main type of lube on hand. That makes water-based lube the winner in our home.
• Glycerin free: While this seems like a simple and "duh" requirement, it is shocking how many lubes out there include glycerin as a product. Glycerin is a huge danger ingredient for women with yeast infections. Consider fingers and dick and toys tend to wander, I don't want this ingredient anywhere near my pussy.
• Parabens: I try very hard to stay away from parabens in my lubricants. There is a lot of controversy and scientific studies that debate whether they are or are not dangerous. For me, I prefer to stay on the safe side and just avoid them altogether. I am not allergic to them, although I've heard some horror stories of having burn-like reactions to them. So if a lube has any parabens as an ingredient, then I will not use it for internal use. If I have it on my hands or feet, I'll wash off immediately when done.
• Flavoring: We don't use lube for oral sex at all, so it really doesn't matter to us if it tastes like anything. Normally we don't bother with a flavor because of this.

Photo courtesy of Erotic Toy Town

Believe it or not, the glycerin narrows our water-based lube choice by about 50% it seems. If we pick something without parabens, cut out another 25% at least. That leaves very few choices for lube.

Whenever I ask for recommendations on lube, the Maximus brand lubricant is always one of the most popular suggestions. It seems everyone likes this lube! I was a little hesitant to try it because of the parabens, but since I so rarely use lube internally, I thought I would give it a try. I'm very glad I did.

The bottle is a larger bottle of lube with 8.45oz (250ml) of lube in it.


The Sex (for Her)
I give my boyfriend a lot of handjobs and the occasional footjob. I always like to take my time, and this normally requires a lot of lube application and reapplication. Normally with a water-based lube I'll apply lube 4-7 times depending on the lube. It can be a real pain as it interrupts the action. This lube was an excellent surprise! Where other lubes fall short in duration, this lube wins the prize. It lasts like a silicone lube!  It has a slight oily feel to it, but its very smooth and doesn't end up tacky like most other lubes. This lube just becomes "less" the longer you use it, so pleasant sensation isn't lost to a rubbing feeling.

And I like to play with the balls as well.

When I give him a handjob with this lube, I start out with 2 pumps and start lightly stroking his cock. This lube isn't super thick like some others I've tried, but it isn't runny either. It glides very easily across his dick and covers him very easily. Two or three strokes up and down and his cock is covered in lube. I will toy with him by jacking him off and teasing him lightly, increasing the intensity and, at my pace, bringing him to orgasm. At some point I'll add another squirt just to keep his dick slick enough for easy gliding. Toward the end of a handjob I focus on either the head of the penis or long, fast strokes up and down his dick. I give a lot of pressure so having a smooth, long lasting lube is key! 

I gave him a footjob with this lube last weekend. Similar to the handjob, I normally require multiple lube applications. This time, we only needed 1 application! We covered my toes and his dick and off I went jacking him off with a combination of jerking him off in between the arches of my foot or scrunching my toes around him and moving my feet along his dick. I loved being able to concentrate just on him, not the amount of lube we were using.

The Sex (for Him)
The boyfriend likes this lube because it keeps us both focused on the moment. He masturbates once or twice a day while I'm at work and almost always uses lube (another major reason we go through a lot!). This lube has been used quite a bit in the week we've had it with almost all of it ending up on his dick. When he applies lube he does maybe half a pump onto his palm while jacking off his dick. This requires several pumps while masturbating, but he doesn't seem to mind -- actually he does it to make the whole experience last longer. 

Beautiful boyfriend dick.

I gave him a prostate massage with this lube a couple of nights ago. This was done with my finger, so I wore a glove to help with cleanup and further protection against my fingernails. With other lubes, I start with 2 pumps to generously cover my finger(s) and the exterior of his anus. With the Maximus lube, I was able to just do 1 pump and that was enough to cover everything and leave him feeling slick and comfortable for sliding my finger in. It also kept him sufficiently lubed for the entire massage so we didn't need to worry about reapplication.

The Judgement
Overall, we give Maximus a 3/5. We are so excited to find a water-based lube that lasts this long and doesn't have any tacky/sticky feeling. The first time we used it he asked, "Are you sure it's water-based?" Yes, I checked the ingredients! We love this lube. There are two things we didn't like about it. First, the clean-up. The oily feel made washing hands take a bit longer than other lubes. Also, I let some dry on me for about a half hour (ok, I fell into a sex coma) and when I woke up, it was completely dry. It didn't flake off like I expected, but rubbed off into little sticky balls. It was very odd and I had to use water and wipe or scrub it off. Second, because it has parabens, I won't suck his dick with any of this lube on it, even hours later. With paraben-free lubes I will do that gladly but this one with the weird way it dries and the ingredients, it's not an option. And I really like to have that option.

It's a great lube and I think it's one we'll be purchasing Maximus in the future due to its great qualities for hand and foot jobs.

Tmi Tuesday: Good Ol' Summertime

1. Summer is a time to escape, kick back, and chill. What is your favourite way to relax when the warm weather hits?

Assuming its not too hot, I'd like to take a nap with the windows open and summer breeze blowing across me. If it is warmer, then I love to be in the water - a nice body of water like the ocean or a giant lake like Lake Michigan. Swimming or kayaking are my favorite ways to enjoy the water.

2. Have you ever been to a drive-in movie theatre? What is your best memory of these classic outdoor theatres? 

I was once when I was pretty young, like 8 I think. There is one locally and it's always a double feature; I just haven't been there yet.

3. Have you ever had a summer fling? How did it develop and why did it end?

Nope, that's not really my style.

4. Board shorts and bikinis leave something to the imagination, but have you ever tried a nude beach?

Board shorts might leave something to the imagination, but do bikinis? They don't for me... that's kind of their appeal, right? I don't need to imagine very much with a bikini. Maybe that's because I'm a woman and I have the same parts? No, I don't think so.

But to really answer your question, no I haven't yet tried a nude beach. It's on my "list" to do one day.  I've done a topless beach, but I myself wasn't topless as I wandered onto it by mistake. I did enjoy it.

5. What are your toughts on the Speedo and the Wicked Weasel?

Speedo and Wicked Weasel in bikini and mesh-one piece

I love speedos! I think they should be worn more often. Its a shame that in the US they are so stigmatized outside of swim teams.  I think part of this acceptance is that my dad used to wear one until the late 90's when, for whatever reason he switched to swim trunks. So for me, it's partly normal. But I don't see that its such a big deal, either.

I've never heard of the "wicked weasel" until this question. From what I see, the wicked weasel is pretty cute. I'm not for a mesh bathing suit (why bother?) but I like the once-piece cut. But then again, I like my ass...

6.  The warm weather is a great opportunity to "get busy" outdoors. Have you ever? Tell us about it.

Nope, I haven't. In college I once tried giving a handjob outdoors in the woods during hiking, but the ground was so uncomfortable with just a jacket as a "blanket" that it never resulted in anything pleasant.

7. Sunrise or sunset? 

Sunset! But really that's because I can never wake up in time for the sunrise. Maybe if it were in a place where the sun rises at 9am I could get up for that. So, sunset is really by default. I do love the way dusk looks over a nice body of water.

8. What is the one summer delight that really quenches your thirst? How about your lust?

My thirst - snocones! Oh goodness I cannot get too much ice in my life, but the snocone is the best thing in the world! A snow-cone machine is on my amazon.com gift list, hopefully for my birthday!

My lust? I'm not sure anything could quench my lust for the boyfriend!

Bonus: Summer is the time to participate in outdoor activities. Where would you most like to have sex: on the beach, at a picnic, or camping?

THE BEACH!  Hands down. A private beach with wonderful water that's cool but not too cold and hot sand that's not too hot. Perfection!

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Update on our "No sex pact"

As we've announced on twitter, we are closing on our first home this coming week. This has been in the works for several months and we could not be more excited that it's coming to an end.  We have been talking for a while about celebrating this awesome milestone, but how?

I know there are some things we've been waiting to experience together in the new home, like him dominating me or him tying me up and really letting me have it. He won't do either of those now because he needs me to be able to scream without alerting the neighbors. But those are thing that will not happen right away.

One day when we were talking about how my pussy has changed he joked about not having sex for a while to see if that made a difference. Of course when he says this we both end up laughing, there's no way we could just withhold sex for months... but what about weeks? I don't remember how the conversation went, but someone suggested not having sex until we were officially moved into the house, and the other agreed.

What we didn't consider was that moving day was 23 days away.

As of this post, we are on day 12. Twelve days without penis-in-vagina sex.

It's not a dry spell, as we are both horny and wanton. In fact, we are even more horny as a result. We are indulging in everything else. The past twelve days have included anal sex, handjobs, toys, and tons of oral.

In a way, our sex life has never been so hot.

We've never been so on fire for each other. When I get home from work we are immediately in the bedroom making out and sucking on each other. And then at bedtime we want more.

I've noticed a few things from this. First, he's become more generous in wanting me to not have just an orgasm or two, but 5, 8, 10, or more. He may give me a few, and when I'm doing satisfying him he wants to give more. And then I give more back.

We are more desperate to be with each other. We can't stand to be apart while I'm at work. During our couch cuddle time in the evening we are now naked and he is laying on my body, feeling me up a bit before bedtime.

We are fighting more. I think our passion for each other is closer to the surface, but that means it's easier to trigger some stupid argument. We fight passionately over stupid stuff, then all of a sudden it dissipates and we end up just holding each other.

So, is it worth it? So far, I think so. Call it an experiment in sex. An experiment in our relationship. Since we've been together, we've only abstained from PIV sex for three days. And it was a very long three days. When it ended, we had three very hot, explosive rounds of sex in a hotel room.  I can only imagine that, if three days resulted in that kind of reaction, what would three weeks do?

So we're looking forward to the date with a LOT of anticipation. It will be an awesome, amazing night. And in the meantime, we are rediscovering and just enjoying all the ways we give handjobs, oral sex, cuddling, and masturbation. Oh, lots of masturbation.

So here we are, on fire for each other, denying ourselves for a purpose. It's hot, driving us wild, and we are loving and hating every moment of it.

How my pussy has changed

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Nature's added lube: Period sex

Does the title of this make you squick a little? Does the thought of fucking while on your/her period make you feel ill? I hope not. This post has been a long time coming. A lot of people consider "period sex" a taboo topic or shy away from it. Why?

Having a period is normal. It's supposed to happen. There was a time in my life when, thanks to the joy of PCOS, I would be "lucky" to get a period once a year. Wow, a full year with no period? Awesome, right? No. Not awesome at all. It would come with no warning and then stick around for a week. Or two. And then it might come back in another two and hang around. Then I might have them every few weeks for two weeks at a time. Then the wet season would end and nothing would happen for fifteen months. Fifteen months of hanging on the edge, waiting.

Birth control fixed that for me. Now I'm that regular every 28 days just like they told you in health class type of schedule. I'm so regular, I can predict it within the hour normally. My point is, it's supposed to happen once a month; that's how women's bodies are made.

So why, for a few days to a week every month, do we pretend we are not sexual beings? Nothing changes about who we are or what we like. Our hormones may be in flux but a week later I will still be me, a girl who really enjoys sex and wants to have it on a daily basis.

In fact, during my period, I'm usually my horniest ever. I need sex. I need orgasms. I don't care how they come, but I must have them. Daily at the very least, several times a day is better. In life pre-BF, my period meant eternal panties and no touching "down there." It was icky, gross, bloody, nasty, smelly, and ever other horrible, negative that could be said.

But to me, it was natural. This is supposed to happen. It's happened for years and will continue to happen for many more. For me, period blood is just another bodily fluid. It smells a little different, but my own body makes it. It's just extra lube. In a different color.

Some of my best masturbation orgasms happen during my period. Maybe its part of the full body acceptance, but I love touching myself during the days each month that remind me I'm a woman. I'm a woman who likes to masturbate no matter what day or time it is.

When my boyfriend first came to visit, I had 10 days to have sex before my period came. I remember having a moment of panic when discussing dates and saying, "Oh no... wait... OK, we'll have 10 days before my period starts... good."

"So? I don't care about that. I'll have sex during your period."

Woah.  Really? YAY! Finally - someone who felt like I did... it was no big deal! A period happens, why let it interfere with sex?

The first time we had sex on my period, I was so happy. Nothing felt weird or gross. We didn't even make a mess. The only change in our routine was he wiped his cock off when we were done. You could barely tell it had been involved in such a taboo task!  Since then, period sex is part of our normal sex life. If I'm feeling lots of cramps, I'll ask him to help me out with some sex. Or a handjob. His opinion for that is, "My fingers can be washed." Huh, what do you know, he's right. Fingers, like dicks, are washable. So finger fuck me away!

His only line about period sex is he won't go down and eat me out. I'm fine with that. I'm not sure I would be able to do that myself. I can live 4-5 days without oral sex. It just means I have deadlines so I can say, "Eat it tonight, or you can't for 5 days" and suddenly I'm having a great night of oral sex!

I thought several times about writing this post. I half expected someone to ask, "What about your period?" because we have sex ALL THE TIME. No one did. But I wasn't sure what to say about it other than "just do it." In the past month I've come across two great articles by fellow bloggers also on the topic of period sex.

Rubyyy Jones has a great post on starting out with period sex and what to consider if you're going to try it. There's no reason why this topic needs to be hush-hush between you and your partner. Talk and try!

Girly Juice writes an great article on how to make period sex more enjoyable for both. In fact, she suggests using menstrual cups, instead of tampons, to make oral sex possible without blood being a factor. I call it brilliant and cannot wait to try it.

There's no reason your sex life should stop when "Aunt Flo" or "that time of the month" comes around. Communicate, share, and explore. Your partner just might be super grateful for it.

e-lust #37

Photo courtesy of Molly at Molly's Daily Kiss

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #38? Start with the newly updated rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
~ Top 3 ~
Coming to Terms with Being Gay - From the time I was seven I was raised Mormon, which meant I wasn�t allowed to have a girlfriend until I was 16 or to have sex until I was married.
What I Want - I want to be humiliated. Call me a slut. Call me a whore. Slap my face. Expose me.
Dinner Party Entertainment - At that moment, J's eyes went wide--he finally realized I was leaving him there, tied to the bed.
~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~
My Abstinence Only �Sex Education� - The speakers were a married, Christian couple, and the man told us about how he had pledged to stay a virgin until he was married.

~ e[lust] Editress ~
Your Crappy Writing Turns Me Off - Your written words are your clothes, your power, your voice, your facial expressions and that by which we measure intelligence, personality and even attractiveness.
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the �read more�� tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
A New Found Respect for Bondage Educators
Cunt: Healing sexual abuse
Equal but DifferentFuck you. Without a condomHarper Eliot's Guide to Surviving Drop Alone
PolyAnna's Musings: What About the Kids
Settling down--bullshit free
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Sweet Valley High Meets the Story of Oh My!
Women's rape fantasies
Why May is Nat'l Masturbation Month
Erotic Writing
Ache
A Word on What Your Words Do to Me
Anything the Lady Wants
Breathless
Cemetery Sex
Dropped Call
Fucking a Stranger�s Wife While He Watched
Folly, part 4
Getting His Attention
Jerk and Tug
Jill's Look Back at Masturbation Month
Like a Faggot
Phontographs (fiction, part 1)
Release
Senses and Scents
Spearmint Rhino
Swing: Part I
The Dance
Touch Me, Tease Me
Kink & Fetish
Earning My Wings
fantasy with beast/the train ride
His first crop spanking
Learn the rope of knots: Larks Head
Popping my anal cherry
Stress Relief
Staying power
The Cutting Edge
Tie Me Up! ~ I think...
Why chastity is hot
What I Like and Why

Review: SLUT Paddle

The Toy

SLUT paddle by Sportsheets

You know we like spanking, right? Well, we do. Specifically, I like to spank him and he loves to be spanked. I haven't received much spanking, it's not my thing like it is for him. However, I'm not opposed to it. The problem with spanking is that, when you use your hand, it starts to sting the spanker pretty quickly. And then, at least for us, my hand/arm gets tired of the repeated spanking. We needed and wanted an aid to help spanking last longer.

Handle detail

We saw this toy in our local sex shop and then I had the opportunity to buy it at a discount online. It's made of leather by Sportsheets (who makes a lot of great kink sex toys like paddles, crops, restraints, and more). In general, the paddle is well made. The leather is great quality and well cut. The word SLUT is cut-out on one side of the spanking end. The lettering is very precise and there are no stray bits of leather that could stray off of the paddle. The spanking The bright pink is a piece of paper inbetween two pieces of leather that are unattached except to the handle that really help this toy achieve a good slap. The handle is comfortable for my (medium-size) hand to grip for 30-45 minutes at a stretch. The paddle is light weight and does not feel heavy even after prolonged use. The end has a loop for hanging by a string for storage if you choose.

The Sex (for her)
First, as the spanker, I love this paddle. It takes all the sting out of my hands, making spanking much easier to deliver on his ass. This paddle is the right length where I can sit or stand behind him or next to him and give strong, swift strokes. I can vary the hits so they are light and teasing or sharp and stinging. Unfortunately, despite the cut-out of the word SLUT, I could not get the word to show up on his ass no matter how light or hard I smacked him.

Last night he spanked me with this toy for the first time. To my surprise, I was able to handle the hits he gave me pretty well. He had me lay down on the bed, and then started spanking me. He started out with lighter hits, but then moved pretty quickly to sharper, harder blows that left a stinging feeling for the briefest moment. Repeated hits, of course, made it last longer. Each hit made my entire body flinch, so he varied his rhythm to make me  unsure when the next slap would hit me. Only a minute or two passed before he told me my ass was turning quite red. I enjoyed the spanking, but without any clitorial stimulation I doubt I'd cum from him. My spanking only lasted a few minutes with this item before he turned me over and fingered me to orgasm. My ass was definitely sensitive for a few minutes, but no more than that.

Just the right size!

The Sex (for him)
As the spanker, he liked using this. He has spanked me with his hand before and the slaps always sting and hurt so much I try to get away as fast as I can. This toy helps regulate his hitting strength so I can actually enjoy a spanking. We didn't use anything for clitoral or vaginal stimulation with this toy; I think that needs to happen in future use to make it more enjoyable for both of us. Otherwise, just spanking made him a little bored as he really wanted to see me orgasm.

He loves being spanked with this paddle. I make him retrieve it and I remind him how much of a slut he is when I spank him with it. I make him confess his love of cock, cum, boys, trannies, and call him names like sissy, fag, boy-lover, slut, cum-slut, boy-whore, and gay. I love to make him say, "Oh yes I'm a slut! I'm a slut!" as I paddle him over and over. I start out spanking with lighter, shorter slaps that come every so often on his ass. After a bit of a warm up, I'll lube up my free hand and start to jack off his cock while continuing random spanks. Sometimes I'll spank in the same spot over and over, bringing it to a bright red color. Sometimes I'll alternate back and forth pretty quickly to make him wonder how much longer and harder the spanks will go.

His cum spot from one night of spanking

I love to smack him very hard with this paddle. It makes such a loud, satisfying SMACK against his ass and his whole body tries to twitch away. When he's close to orgasm, he begs for "harder, faster, don't stop!!" and its during these moments I can't spank him fast enough. I'm also jacking off his dick hard and fast. In the few times I've dedicated an evening to truly spanking my naughty gay boyfriend, I really smack him hard with this so he is bruised the next day. His orgasms are always strong and covering the bed in a great bit of cum.

The Judgement
Overall, I give this toy a 4/5. It's great for spanking and we love to use it. However, it doesn't leave the impression of the word SLUT which was a hope and a key selling point in this item. If the word did show up, it would have been a 5/5. This is definitely well made and worth the investment if you're wanting to give spanking a try - or just need an alternative to your hand.

TMI Tuesday: You say it's your birthday

1. What star sign are you?

I don't remember and I really don't care. See #2.

2. Do you believe in horoscopes?

Absolutely 100% not. Two key reasons: if you take away the sign and read the description, it can almost always apply 90% to you. There is NOTHING specific about being a sign that would make people say, "Wait, that's not me!" They are written to apply to anyone who reads them. Second reason, my cousin used to be a psychic on a psychic hotline. He made a lot of money telling people what they wanted to hear and, again, answering so it could apply to pretty much everyone. The rest is just listening to verbal cues and making it up on the fly.

Yup, about right.

Basically what was "old science" has somehow stuck around as superstitious mumbo jumbo in my opinion. It drives me crazy to see people tweet/post horoscopes for the day. Are you really that naive and stupid?

3. When is your birthday?

August 29. The year? Well... let's say I'm in my early-late 20's.

4. What is the worst birthday gift a partner has given you?

You know, I can't remember a bad gift I've been given by a partner. They have all been very sweet and attentive to what I want.

5. Are you organised when it comes to other people's birthdays?

I try very hard to be. If you are immediate family, you will get a gift and a card from me 99% on time. If you are close family/friend, then you'll get a card and birthday wishes. Otherwise, you'll get a facebook post from me.

6. How do you normally celebrate your birthday?

Ugh. This is not such a happy topic with me. Be prepared to be bummed out. So, in my adult life for the past six years, I've tried to enjoy my birthday by bringing in dessert to the office to share with my friends. Each year, despite an email announcing the treats I had brought to my select group, NO ONE would partake in it because, magically, they were all dieting. And yet when other people brought in dessert they weren't always dieting... ugh. For my 25th birthday I tried to go out to celebrate and invited my closest work friends to go out dancing. One person showed up out of the 8 I invited. I gave up trying after that. Last year I took my birthday as a vacation day so I wouldn't have to deal with my work friends. That's the best decision I've made the past few years. So instead, I slept in and played video games. Very low key. Honestly it just continues a series of disappointing birthdays. Did I mention my 16th birthday was spent at my uncle's funeral? And that was pretty much my entire birthday?  Are you bummed out enough yet? I am.

7. If you could be one age again, what would it be? Why?
My favorite age was 18 when I lived in France. That was seriously the most fun year of my life. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but be single this time around instead.

View from my college dorm that year. Gorgeous!

8. What would be your ideal birthday treat?

Oh where do I begin? Breakfast in bed (NOT made of cereal), or freshly baked goods and my favorite Starbucks purchased right before I wake up, a massage, hot sex where I am the focus of pleasure frequently throughout the day, delicious dessert, taken away for a sexy weekend, having my hair washed and toes painted, having my body worshiped (especially my feet)... a day at the beach where I can be naked if I wish. Any/all of the above. Just spoil me!

Bonus: Tell us your best birthday memory?
On my 18th birthday I flew to France to live for a year. Best birthday ever.

Bonus, Bonus: May we see you in your birthday suit?

Erm, no. I think we need to get to know each other a little bit more first.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Sex diary: Our anniversary weekend

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Review: the Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator

The Toy
For months and months I have been craving and lusting after the Hitachi magic wand. And why not? It's a powerhouse vibrator; and I do love a good vibrator. The comments I see from women on twitter and some pictures I've seen on tumblr made the need all the more acute. I NEEDED to try out this toy. I accumulated a few Amazon gift cards and purchased it as a gift for myself... and the boyfriend, really. As always, its a toy I planned on using on both of us. What fun is a toy that has a single use? We can always find a way to use it on both of us.

It arrived while I was at work and I opened it at once. It was a bit heavier than I expected. I cleaned it off with an antibacterial wipe; since it is an electric item, I did not want to use any water on it. The head of the toy is made of vinyl that has a slightly textured surface, not smooth as I anticipated. The head is attached to the long handle with a narrow attachment that does have some slight flex to it. The handle is long with a button that has a low/high setting. The weight of this item allows it to have a good pressure against my body, but holding it for periods of time longer than 10 minutes really makes my hands and arms tired. The cord is long enough to plug in next to my bed and use in the center of my king-sized mattress.

There are many attachments for this toy, but I do not (yet) own any.

The Sex (for her)
It's hard NOT to orgasm quickly with this item. When I first turned this on low, I was shocked how strong the vibrations were - I could feel them not in my clit but my pussy lips, my mons veneris, my vagina, and throughout my pelvis. They were so strong that I could not isolate my clitoral sensation over the pleasure that was spreading over pussy. This was a very new experience for me; I'm not used to being overwhelmed like this. It took a minute or two to adjust myself to it. I didn't need a lot of pressure to feel my orgasm building - everywhere (although that certainly felt so good if I did do that). It was only a couple of minutes before my orgasm hit.

I'm not used to an orgasm coming from my whole pussy; not just a "clit orgasm" or "g-spot orgasm" or "vaginal orgasm." It wasn't either one but a kind of blend of the three, I think. It was intense. The boyfriend was shocked at how fast it happened. I took the Hitachi off of me for a few seconds to recover, but I wanted more.

Back onto my pussy, this time spreading my pussy lips wide so the Hitachi could directly touch my clit. The problem was - the head of this vibrator is so big that while it touches my clit, it is still touching so many other parts of me! The power and stimulation on my clit was a strong, rumbly vibration. There was no end to the strength of the vibrations; it felt like the vibrations ran through my pussy in neverending waves of pleasure. The overpowering feeling was almost too much, and yet not enough. My pussy was confused at how intense it all was.

I switched it onto high, and let it rest against my clit again. It felt easily three times more powerful than the low setting and made me practically scream out. I moved it around my pussy, holding it just outside my vagina. I could feel the vibes running up my vagina several inches; it was a wonderful feeling. Eventually my second orgasm did come, and boy was it a good one.

Another time, I started playing with the Hitachi, and the boyfriend was jacking off. I came once, quickly, and wanted dick in me. Now. So he got on top and pinned the Hitachi between us. His thrusting kept it on my clit, and the force of his fucking pushed me me over the edge again so quickly. He could feel the vibrations in his penis through his pelvis. Having him push it into me made the clit vibrations very noticeable while his dick stimulated my vagina. I had three orgasms and from the second one until he was done I was screaming and unable to control my body! It was very satisfying; I considered myself well fucked for the day... so much so, that I didn't want sex later that night.

The Sex (for him)
I've used this vibrator on him a couple of times. I tried using this on his cock, but the vibrations didn't do anything for him. I also used it on his balls and while it felt good, that's about the extent of his pleasure. It isn't an orgasm aid that way.

However, how it does feel good for him as an anal stimulation device. I've used this two ways. First, while plugged, I put the Hitachi on the base of the butt plug and let the vibrations travel through his ass. I alternated this with jacking off his dick and spanking him. The Hitachi was pleasurable, but not earth-shattering.

The other time I used this was the Hitachi itself up against his bare asshole as he jacked himself off. I started on low, and the strength of the vibrations surprised him; he couldn't believe it was low. He could feel the rumble of the vibes spreading up to his prostate just on low; I flipped it onto high once I saw his orgasm was getting closer; he loved the vibrations spreading through his ass. He came spurting extra hard.

The Judgement
Overall, I'd give this toy a 3/5. While this toy is excellent for masturbation and a quick orgasm, it can easily overpower you and, for me, make it harder to cum. The vibrations almost make my pussy go numb if I use it too long. Being numb from vibrations makes it really hard to orgasm. I've heard of buying a dimmer switch which can help me control the vibrations and really improve my experience.

I'd also like to get some of the attachments for targeted G-spot stimulation. That is really where I think this toy will shine.

TMI Tuesday: The most times

We want to know what things you've done the most times.

1. What sex position have you been in the most times? 

Easy for both of us: Missionary. I personally love this position.

If it's boring, you're doing it wrong!

 It's poorly named (a sign of our Western sexual repression and the influence of Christianity on sex... OK, I'll stop myself from going on a diatribe here) and is considered the "default" or "most common" position. For me, its the most intimate position and has so much variety for this "one" position. My boyfriend is SO good at making this position so good in so many ways... traditional man-fully-on-woman  or him in a plank position above me or kneeling and bending or just kneeling... so much variety for this one way.

2. What book have you read...?

In large, friendly letters, no less.

This is a tough one for me. I think there are three possibilities and they are: The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, Star Wars: The Last Command by Timothy Zahn, and Persuasion  by Jane Austen. Science fiction and classic literature.

3. What move have you watched....?
I think it might be the five-hour BBC version of Pride and Prejudice starring my very favorite Colin Firth. Yum.

The BF's movie is Nick Foley's Greatest Hits and Misses. He likes wrestling. I don't get it.

4. In the last week, who have you texted...?

 No contest, its each other. We text frequently... more than frequently. Pretty much all day when we can.

5. In the last week, what food have you eaten...?

For me, it's cheese. I love cheese. I could do away with dairy forever if cheese were somehow dairy-free. (And no, dairy-free cheese is not an option!)

For him, it's ice cream. He goes through a ton of ice cream!

6. Today, which website have you visited...?

Sadly, for me, it's facebook. I'm on facebook all day as part of my job, and I normally can't help checking on my feed and commenting on people's lives.

For him, it was twitter. He doesn't browse the internet much.

7. When dining out, where have you eaten...?

For me, I would guess Taco Bell. It was the fast food of choice growing up and is still a favorite of mine today (questionable beef and all).

For him, it's a chain called Garfield's... I've never been, and upon writing this I've discovered we live within a reasonable distance of one. Perhaps we need to go sometime.

8. Which sex toy have you used...?

Easy. My bullet vibe! It's seriously one of the best inventions out there! I always cum very hard with it. It's the default if I need/want to cum after we've finished oral/penetration sex, or if I'm having a hard time having an orgasm due to fatigue.

We debated over the answer for the BF. We think the answer is the Siren dildo that we use most of the time to fuck him with. Or he fucks himself with it.

Bonus:  Is there something you’d love to go back and relive in your sexual past?
My first reaction is to say no, not really. I certainly have nothing I want to relive prior to the boyfriend (actually, if I would, then it would be to stand up for myself and declare I am not broken because I smell like a woman does "down there"!). But then I really started to think about this, and the one experience I'd love to relive is the sweetest, most beautiful sex we've ever shared. But that doesn't happen often, and it shouldn't. That's what makes it so special.

The boyfriend, he really misses giving head to a guy. (This answer took less than a second to answer from him).

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Our Anniversary: What we want for the future

Our anniversary is today. One year ago, I made the trip to meet him at a bus station, and drove him back to my place. It was our very first meeting. And, very unlike anything I had ever done. Have you not read our story? You should. Read first how we met, and then our story of our first night in part one and part two.

The plan was simple: he would visit for three weeks so we could get to know each other in person, and then I would go with him back up to his home and meet his family and we would decide our next steps. Of course, should things not work out, there was a bus home at any moment. Two weeks later, he asked to move in with me. I said "probably not." It was too soon, too fast. I was crazy about him; I loved him. But move in together after only 2 weeks?

And then I thought about him not being there. And how hard it was to wait for him to come and visit me. I didn't want to say goodbye.

Three days before he was to return home, he asked again. I felt so vulnerable. I told him, " You can stay, but don't break my heart." I started crying a little, so scared it would end up with me being burned by another man. He pulled me into a gentle hug, and whispered a promise in my ear he would never hurt me. I nodded my resolve to take a chance, open myself up, and said yes.

And today, it's been one year. We are so happy together we pretty much ooze love around each other.. we can't help it! From the start we agreed we wanted to be to have an entire year together before we discussed the "next step." That led to the introduction to the famous "Rule" which we started breaking last November, and in March we completely dumped it altogether. Enough time had passed, we knew: this is it.

I asked the boyfriend what his favorite moments from the past year were. His answer: "Every moment is my favorite, honey. It's been the best year of my life."

I have some special moments that I remember fondly, but in so many ways he's right. It doesn't matter what firsts we've shared or how awesome sex was last night; what's important is that we shared it together. We've fought, cried, laughed at, and shocked the one another. But nothing has ever caused us to think this was the end.

The main reason I started tweeting last October and then blogging in February was my excitement and happiness. I couldn't stand to not share our joy with someone! The world needed to know! I wish I could share with our vanilla world, but all I can hope is that our friends and family are experiencing some joy in their lives as well. It's been wonderful to share, and I can't wait to continue sharing.

The future! We are so excited for the next step and have started talking about engagement, rings, marriage, children... we see it all before us. Next month we move into a house about three times the size of our current apartment. It's just the beginning of the next stage of our journey: our home.

I asked him what he wanted for the future. He said: "House, marriage, children (born or adopted, it doesn't matter to me), a life together."

That's exactly my answer, too.

Happy Anniversary, to us.

Our Anniversary: A year of firsts

In a few days, it will be our 1 year anniversary. When I first started this blog, I wrote an entry talking about all the first-time we had shared together. If you haven't read it, go back and read it here. Here is a short list (with links to some entries that highlight each act!):

1. Multiple orgasms.
2. Strap-on/Pegging.
3. Rimming.
4. Anal sex.
5. Double Penetration (DP).
6. Feet. 
7. Watersports.
8. Cumming from oral sex.
9.  Reverse cowgirl.
10. Vaginal orgasms.
11. Stomach sex.
12. Shower sex.
13. Sissifying.
14. Fisting.

Here we are, almost a year later, and we've had more firsts to share. 

15. Fucking my thighs. He loves my thick thighs; he often feels them up and gives them light squeezes during sex. But one morning, he actually fucked my thighs by lubing them up and holding my legs shut. He felt my legs up, and let his cum spill all over them.

16. Dick humiliation. It surprised me the first time he mentioned how "loose" my pussy was, and he thought I was being fucked by a larger cock. But for him, it was hot dirty talk. I quickly got into it, and it's a regular feature now in our sex life. It's not always the time for it, but when it is, boy does he get off on it.

17. Pussy sniffing. I've never had anyone jack off to just the smell of me. It's so hot and sexy.

18. Crying during sex. Once, I got overwhelmed by the intense emotions of being completely accepted by the man I love so much. It was a beautiful moment.

19.  Masturbating for show. We've both masturbated as a display to each other. I once really turned it into a show... then made him wait to orgasm.

20. Cock biting. He once asked me to give him "more teeth" during a blow job. I've never been asked to scrape my teeth along a cock, but he couldn't get enough of it.

21. Role-playing about someone who isn't there. This is happening more and more for us. We don't always know who we're talking about. Sometimes we do. But the role-play is always very hot.

22.  Deep-throating. It took so long for me to do this, but the payoff was so worth it! I love to deep-throat him and cover him in my spit.

23. Share my most secret fantasy. No one had ever known about this fantasy until I told him about it last month... And then I shared it publicly on my blog.

24. Have sex in my office. Ok, it wasn't during regular work hours, but there was someone else in the building nearby and we still did it!

25.  Spanking. I've never spanked anyone before him, but I love to do this to him. I spank with my hand, a crop, and a very new spanking paddle we recently purchased. Each one has its different uses; I was quite surprised at how easy and varied spanking could be between the three. Of course, I've had a few spankings myself.

26. Prostate massage & milking. We have a prostate massager that I like to stick in his ass while I jack him off. Lately, I've used my fingers to massage his prostate myself to milk it. His orgasms are always extra strong and extra wet when we do this.

27. Period sex. I have no idea how this missed the first posting of our list, but it certainly is a new (and very welcome!) first for me. For him, period blood is just added lubricant. For me, it's just a natural process. I was so very happy when he said he didn't mind period sex. I. Love. It. I am so incredibly horny on day 3 of my period. I used to masturbate furiously each month; now I get to fuck him, be fucked, use sex toys, whatever. It's natural, and it makes the whole time easier for both of us.

I restrained him and teased him

Oh new restraints. I don't remember how we decided who would be tied up first, but it was him. So yes, this actually takes place the night before I was tied up and sweetly tortured.

I tied him up, making sure his arms and legs were secured to the four corners of the bed and unable to move.... much. A little struggle is OK. He promised not to struggle too much. Despite the fact the bed is made of metal and has yet to be bent or broken in our many sexual activities, he swears he would break if he could struggle. This is why he wants a strong, huge wooden bed - to struggle. And, to make me struggle.... hmm.

I tied him up and blind folded him, but he could see under the blindfold. I made a minor adjustment by switching it with a silk scarf. Better. He was blind and trapped.

I ever so lightly brushed my fingertips along his chest. Just a quick touch, then gone. Then his arm. Then stomach. Thigh. Nipple. Neck. Knee. Hip. Chest. Arm. Penis. He gave soft moans as I surprised him with my random touching. So gentle, sometimes I even missed his skin. Sometimes I just brushed his hair. I made sure to make him wait for a touch near his penis. Or go just around his penis and never touch it. I wanted him to crave it.

Then I chose another silk scarf and lightly ran it across his body. He arched into it a little. I let it weave around his penis. Slowly. I wrapped it around and pulled it back and forth, letting his penis be constantly touched by silk. More soft moans.

Random kisses placed along his body. Sometimes a lick. I tried to keep it random, and keep my touching to a minimum. Just lips or tongue, no hands or feet or even breasts from leaning over. He needed to be unsure of where I would go next.

I told him he was lucky I respected his boundary of no ice. (Prior to this moment, he has told me that ice was a non-negotiable; if I did it the sex would end in a bad argument. He's tried it before and hated it. So never any ice.) He doesn't understand my meaning, so I clarify. He only replies, "Well, I'm tied up, so I guess I don't have a choice in what you do."

I need to be very clear about this. "So... if I use ice, you won't get very mad at me?" I love ice, please say yes!

"I guess I can't be since you're in charge." That's a yes.... I'm too excited to wait, I rush off to the kitchen to retrieve some ice and pour a little water over it to help chill it even more. I jiggle the cup back in the room so he can hear I have several pieces with me; he'll have no idea how many.  "Guess you couldn't resist," he comments. I can't tell if he's please or not.

"Nope, too bad for you!" I take a large piece and put it in my mouth, focusing on making my tongue very cold. I make sure he doesn't hear that I have a piece. I go back to lightly touching him, teasing his body. His dick is only semi-hard and I'm in no rush. I let him wait. And wait. My tongue is very cold now, the ice is half gone from melting in my mouth. I bend down to kiss him, and he can feel the cold on my lips. I kiss a few times, then lick is nipple.

A huge intake of breath. He gasps and tries to move away, but my tongue is on his stomach, his hip, his thigh, and moving back up his body. The small chunk of ice is toward the back of my mouth and I let the cold water drip toward his body, kissing him. My lips are warming and the ice disappears quickly. He is glad it's over.

It's not. Another large piece, and this time while I still use it to chill my tongue, I allow it to also graze his body as I lick and touch him. I very slowly lick his cock. His body tenses in response. I let the ice cub touch the head of his penis while I start to suck him. I made long and slow sucks on his dick until the ice was gone.

I picked up a smaller piece of ice to hold it in my hand. I let it drip ice cold water droplets on his body, randomly again, as it melted in my hand. Drip. Waiting. Drip. Waiting. Waiting. Drip. As it got smaller, I let the drops get closer to his penis until the last fragment melted away on his penis head. The drops made him flinch more.

I pulled out our riding crop and gave him soft, random spanks across his body. I spanked his balls, too. I interrupted the the light slaps with some more kisses. Down his legs, around his nipples, on his neck.

But I could not ignore the hard penis that was the center of my focus; the center of his body. I took him into my mouth, hungry for his cock. I wasn't sure if I would suck him to orgasm or give him a handjob. The more I sucked, the more it turned me on and I couldn't stop. I gagged on it a few times and refocused on relaxing my throat as I took him in.

More ice in my mouth and I sucked him, letting the cold water swirl around him. I kept the ice off of him, mostly. Occasionally I would let it graze some part of his cock to feel his body tense and flex under me. I sucked, and shifted my weight to take him fully into my mouth... I heard the cup of ice fall over and wet, cold water and ice fell into his hip and under his ass.

I apologized and pulled the ice off the bed and away from his skin. He was biting his lip and scolding me, yet his smile betrayed his delight. I made it up to him by sucking him off with the most suction I could give him. I filled my mouth with him and sucked hard, every so slowly pulling up so the suction lasted as long as I could. Repeat. Repeat. His moans told me he was clearly enjoying it.

My mouth started to tire, so I went back to sucking him and licking his cock while it was in my mouth. I sucked him until he came, pumping warm cum into my mouth which I happily swallowed. I hadn't noticed how tense his body was, I could see it relax after his orgasm ended. It was a good night.

Review: Passionate U

A few weeks ago, I was offered the chance to review the website www.passionateU.com. I've followed this website since I joined twitter late last fall and have wanted the opportunity to watch their videos ever since. When the opportunity arose to have a free 2-week trial to the website in exchange for an honest review, I immediately agreed.

I will start by saying I completely underestimated the value of this website. If I could offer a sex-ed course to every person on the planet, it would be made up of many videos from this website. (Every person would benefit, even though they may not all appreciate it!) This video has a great mix of topics (discussed further below) and not all of them contain nudity. The experts for these videos contain a mix of sex educators and porn performers as well as sex researchers. Some of the experts I found were also those whose real-world lives I admire (and follow on twitter) such as Courtney Trouble, Ned and Maggie Mayhem, and ReidAboutSex.

The variety of videos on this website is fantastic. They cover many topics about and relating to sex. Some of the topics include: how to have a difficult relationship talk, how to masturbate (separate videos for male- and female-bodied persons), legal considerations for polyamory, how an uncut penis can be played with, tickling, making out, the importance of foreplay, different ways of spanking, sex with disability, strap-on sex, how to use condoms, and much, much more. Three of my favorite topics were:

1. Deep-Throating. ReidAboutSex has a video about deep-throating (one of several deep-throating videos on the site) that really drove home some clear points about deep-throating. Actually, it was this video that enabled me to deep-throat the boyfriend for the first time! I watched all of the deep-throating videos, but this one I watched several times and really found the tips useful. And for those tips, the boyfriend and myself will be forever grateful.

2. Squirting/G-spot play: I was very happy to find that there are MANY video's about squirting and G-spot play on this site. Many of these are multi-part videos that are 6-10 minutes each. The experts are in pairs with one working their fingers or toy while the other is the receiver. What is so great about these (and all pair/group videos on this website) is it is part live example, part lesson. Each step is explained by the experts and why. What kind of stimulation does the receiver like? What motion is the giver doing inside and why? What does it feel like for both of them? What I really liked about these videos is that the receivers were different women who had entirely different perspectives and experiences with squirting. I am in a passionate pursuit of squirting myself, so it was refreshing to hear some perspectives that differed from anything else I've heard before.

3. What to expect from a pelvic exam: This video uses a mold to show the different steps and tools that take place during a female pelvic exam. The expert uses the tools and explains each step of the process, including modeling the finger movements the doctor will do and explaining its importance. This video contains no nudity, which makes it very appropriate for any female who is undergoing pelvic exams. I was fortunate to have a doctor who explained each step of the process during my first pap smear at 13, but if she had not, I would have been very frightened and surprised at all of the steps. This video makes the exam very straightforward and non-threatening. What great information! One great point the expert makes is that you can bring your own lube to the exam if you are concerned about glycerin (or, I would add, parabens).

The site lets you set your own curriculum of videos you want to watch or you can watch some of their pre-arranged curriculum which gathers all or most video's on a topic and lists them for you to follow. There is also a friendly search feature for you to find and browse through your topics at your leisure.

The only criticism I have of the website is that the volume of the videos can vary greatly between the different videos, so be ready to adjust your speaker volume from video to video! Overall, this isn't a terrible thing and it speaks to the originality of the videos where each was filmed separately and in different locations or settings; really, it's an annoying detail but completely unimportant compared to the quality of information that can be found in the videos.

Thinking of trying Passionate U? They have a free page where you can try out some of their videos and see how helpful they are. In fact, the video I mentioned in #3 is in their free section, so you can watch it yourself for free. (men, if you've ever been curious... here's your chance to understand!)

This website is an incredible source of knowledge for dating, relationships, and, yes, sex. It covers every topic in a straightforward, no-nonsense manner that has a reassuring, non-threatening tone. Sex is normal. Masturbation is normal. Want some tips on how to try new things? Or improve your existing skill set? This website is a great investment to do just that.

Disclaimer: I was given a free 2-week membership to passionateu.com in exchange for unique and fair review of the website. While the membership was free, this review is entirely my own.

TMI Tuesday: Think kink!

If any TMI Tuesday post was catered to us, I think this is it... onto the questions!

1. What’s the kinkiest thing about you, either mentally or physically? 

 It's definitely my brain. My brain loves to think up all sorts of ways to be kinky and use kink. I like to learn about kink and try new things. So yes, my brain is the access to all kinky things I do.

2. Do you have any fetishes? If so, what are they? 

Oh goodness! Do we ever...! Below, a list for each of us:

Me: Ass play, ball-busting, some light BDSM, blindfolding, body modification (I have a piercing, and I do like some piercings and tattoos), body worship, I like bois, some bondage (yes please!), I do like to be a brat, wear corsets, invoke some chastity play (it never lasts long), riding crop, I do like to see him cross-dress in lingerie, face-sitting, sissification, fisting, fucking machines (I want one!), giving golden showers, I like the idea of a grope box, handcuffs, milking prostate, being a mistress, objectification, some animal play, orgasm control (I love to deny), paddling, spanking, queening, rape play, squirting, some role playing, strap-on/pegging, latex... I think that covers it all. 

Him: Pretty much all of mine plus his foot fetish, edge play (he doesn't really believe in "limits"), bukkake, and possibly cuckolding (!). 

3. Have you ever been spanked? Did you enjoy it? Tell us more… 

 I have been spanked a little. I enjoy it with the riding crop, but I do not like it with a hand. That could be because my boyfriend does not believe in a "light" spanking and therefore from strike one it stings. There's talk of tying me up and spanking me until I literally cry. I want this, and yet I'm terrified.

His ass a few min after one of my lighter spankings. This was hand only.

It is no surprise that he enjoys spanking; he loves to be spanked with hand, crop, or a paddle.  More details on our new spanking paddle coming soon! I won't spoil the surprise here.

4. Have you been tied up, or tied someone else up? Did you use rope or  restraints? 

 We just tied each other up... yesterday I posted about my experience. Thursday, I'll try to post about his. We do not have any rope yet, although I would like to invest in some.

5. Would you classify yourself as more dominant, submissive, a switch or entirely vanilla? 

 We are both switches. We like to take turns being the more dominant and then more submissive.

6. What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? 

 Oh dear, how do we even choose? Could it be me peeing in his mouth? Milking his prostate? Pegging him in cowgirl? No, I think the best answer is the time I jacked him off into my morning tea and didn't drink it until I was at work later that day. I could tell when I swallowed bits of his cum. Man, I need to do that again soon!

7. Have you been to a BDSM club? What was it like? If not, would you ever go to one? 

 No, we have not. And yes, I think we would go, out of curiosity. Maybe. I'm more outgoing for this kind of thing than he is. 

8. What’s your favourite fetish item or implement? 

 My favorite is probably a prostate massager that I use from time to time on him. Or my harness and siren dildo that I use to peg him. Too much kink to decide!

9. Favourite kinky clothing material? 

 Silk... silk is so wonderful! I have a pair of silk gloves that we love to use on each other. The feeling is so erotic to use on each other. I've made him cum only by stroking his cock lightly with them.

10. Thigh boots – love ‘em or hate ‘em? 

 I've never worn a pair, but the idea turns both of us on. A lot.

11. If you’re kinky, who knows about it? Do you tell people or is it a closely guarded secret? 

 I've told a friend of mine about my blog, so she knows. 

12. What are your personal limits? 

 I have issues with being trapped, and I am not comfortable at all with anything that limits my movements beyond some basic restraints. I don't like the idea of a ball gag, and when my air supply/breath is cut off I do panic very easily. I also have a limit in how much pleasure I can take... that is the only boundary we are interested in pushing, the boyfriend especially so.

13. What’s your safeword and why did you choose that one? 

 We don't have a safeword yet. But we certainly will need one. There is talk of pushing my limit in number 12 by making me orgasm until I literally cry and exhaust myself.  We're not going to do that without a safe word, because this is an area where he has a cruel streak.

14. Which fetishes do you just really not get?

 I don't get infant/adult baby play... really, an adult as a baby with diapers and everything? I don't get it at all. Infantalization is just a weird thing for someone to be into for me.

I don't get how suffocation/breath play is the point of excitement. I know it breathing can increase pleasure, but as for it being the source of pleasure? Don't get it.

I don't get blood play either. Is bleeding really that delightful?  I'm not sure I get why it's so much a turn-on.

 

Bonus:  Complete this sentence:  To me, Fetish, Kink and BDSM means… sex just got a lot more interesting!